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Author Topic: Proportion of clients who don’t orgasm?  (Read 2784 times)

AnnaConda

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Proportion of clients who don’t orgasm?
« on: 02 October 2023, 11:04:34 am »
I’ve recently had a run of new clients who have failed to orgasm. Although this has happened to me sporadically in the past and I’ve been quite confident it was nothing to do with me, this recent spate has me wondering quite how common it actually is.

My standard client demographic is older, often married and can struggle with condoms so I know that there are good physical and psychological reasons why this can happen. I’m asking partially to reassure myself I suppose!

Mirror

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Re: Proportion of clients who don’t orgasm?
« Reply #1 on: 02 October 2023, 11:29:51 am »
I have clients who cannot orgasm, and some for whom penetration isn't possible also some can only orgasm with hand or mouth. I also have clients who always orgasm during penetration so I don't think it's me. Majority rebook many, many times. My clients tend to be older, tend to be married, get used to condom use with practice.

Cgiw

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Re: Proportion of clients who don’t orgasm?
« Reply #2 on: 02 October 2023, 11:59:52 am »
Doing this work has shown me just how often men struggle to maintain erection or achieve orgasm. It wasn't something I'd ever experienced in civvy life.
I wouldn't be able to put a proportion on it but it is significant and I no longer find it surprising.
It's not always about age for me, sometimes it's when their brain and body aren't going at the same speed, like if they're hungover or its too hot or if they're unable to keep up orgasm speed during sex because they started off too fast and are rushing everything, not relaxed. Or sometimes they spend ages trying not to cum quickly and then can't get back into it in time.
It's hard not to take it personally, or wish you had bionic speed wrist skills...but it's definitely not just you.

AnnaConda

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Re: Proportion of clients who don’t orgasm?
« Reply #3 on: 02 October 2023, 01:29:36 pm »
Thanks both, I already feel better about it!

 Not sure why I had a bit of a knock to my confidence with it as I know it does happen.

Mirror

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Re: Proportion of clients who don’t orgasm?
« Reply #4 on: 02 October 2023, 02:26:50 pm »
As Cgiw says society depicts men as being permanently ready for sex, they aren't. Also I've encountered men in their 20s, 30s, 40s who use ED medication to guarantee an erection. Some are singletons.

DBLM

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Re: Proportion of clients who don’t orgasm?
« Reply #5 on: 02 October 2023, 10:25:24 pm »
I've been doing this for almost 30 years and I quickly learned not to promise orgasms... cos some can't, and they'd be there forever if you'd let them - especially those who just keep holding off.

Don't feel guilty about it. You gave it your best. And they probably know their body and know miracles can't happen.

The vast majority of guys will orgasm given a good hand and time but some won't. I don't let it worry me if I'm certain i did my best for them.


SheffSW

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Re: Proportion of clients who don’t orgasm?
« Reply #6 on: 03 October 2023, 10:16:21 am »
I've had a few clients who haven't managed to orgasm. Sometimes it can be nerves, them putting pressure on themselves to orgasm and getting in their head so it doesn't happen, psychological or physical reasons, or some people just take a lot longer than the amount of time they book. Or sometimes it just doesn't happen for no apparent reason. One client who didn't manage to orgasm tipped me £20 because he'd had such an amazing experience. I've had clients who haven't been able to maintain an erection or get one at all due to nerves (or I had one guy who had masturbated before the booking so couldn't  ???). Previously, I'd feel insecure if someone didn't orgasm or if clients finished themselves off with their hands, but over time I realised that lots of men struggle to orgasm other ways and prefer to do it themselves as they know what works best for them - plus I'm often there sucking the balls and/or rimming etc to help as they're doing that and I know what I did with them previously will have got them closer. I've also had clients who are physically unable to orgasm due to disabilities, health conditions or medications, and just enjoy the time we have together and the sexual activities they are able to do.

Mirror

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Re: Proportion of clients who don’t orgasm?
« Reply #7 on: 03 October 2023, 10:56:42 am »
I've had a few clients who haven't managed to orgasm. Sometimes it can be nerves, them putting pressure on themselves to orgasm and getting in their head so it doesn't happen, psychological or physical reasons, or some people just take a lot longer than the amount of time they book. Or sometimes it just doesn't happen for no apparent reason. One client who didn't manage to orgasm tipped me £20 because he'd had such an amazing experience. I've had clients who haven't been able to maintain an erection or get one at all due to nerves (or I had one guy who had masturbated before the booking so couldn't  ???). Previously, I'd feel insecure if someone didn't orgasm or if clients finished themselves off with their hands, but over time I realised that lots of men struggle to orgasm other ways and prefer to do it themselves as they know what works best for them - plus I'm often there sucking the balls and/or rimming etc to help as they're doing that and I know what I did with them previously will have got them closer. I've also had clients who are physically unable to orgasm due to disabilities, health conditions or medications, and just enjoy the time we have together and the sexual activities they are able to do.

I have quite a few disability clients, some cannot orgasm or have sex, many can and in some ways the proportion is not dissimilar to totally able clients. Some men have had poor experiences with sex or relationships, or are bereaved. Others have never had a sexual partner. They aren't robots and in some ways I like this, if clients were all the same I'd become bored on the other hand there are some things common between some clients that do niggle me. I will communicate this to them to ease the situation. That's another topic or thread.