Barclays are good in that they eight branches in asda stores across the country and are open 24/7 apart from sundays , just a section of the shop that's manned and has paying ( cash deposit)in and  withdrawal machines so you put your cash in loose ( not the envelope ones) it counts it asks if your happy , available immediately for withdrawal , they are great and they're opening loads more , I don't know if any other banks do this ....it's great if your near one when away as you can go to asda anytime of the day or night and select what account you want to deposit in ...just not many of them yet , if anyone knows any other banks that are in supermarkets I'd love to know ......Oooh and people have to stand about 10ft behind you while your banking ...I love calling bankers wankers in my head lol

Thanks Mirror are they the kind where you have to use an envelope ? Because I like the other ones as you can literally see it being deposited so to speak and can get a receipt there and then...I get a bit freaky with the envelopes in case it gets lost , thanks

Banks are nosey buggers and do not exist for the customer's benefit they exist to line their own pockets. I've got a current account with almost every high street bank and I opened them all on the same day, I figured it was best to have them and not need them rather than the alternative.

I told each one a different variation of the same story and didn't mention work etc. it was like a game to see if I got accepted or not. Only HSBC turned me down and I didn't like their attitude anyway so that was a blessing in disguise.

If you are requesting a holding cell for your money and no credit from them then they should keep their greedy little noses out of it. Same with up selling once you have the account, every time I deposit cash they attempt to sell me something, I just smile and politely decline. We deposit money and they give it back when we ask for it, if we want any other service we'll ask, banks seem to think we need them when it is and always has been the complete opposite.

It seems that HSBC is a big pain in the ass if you want to open a new account with them 

Natwest asked me to open a business account a couple of years ago and I didn’t.

They sent me a letter recently saying I had to either open a business account or stop using my current account as a business.

Also Clydesdale closed me down without giving me a reason but I suspect due to paying cash in.

I since then opened a couple of new bank accounts in case Natwest also closed me. I have work pensions going in there so hoping they don’t.

I decided today to just open a business account with NatWest.

The guy spoke to me like shit.

He asked me How much do you expect to earn next year.

I replied “ I don’t know”

He replied “Well that’s not ideal. Maybe you should sit with your accountant and work it out”

I replied “ He doesn’t have a crystal ball either”

He replied “ But you’re telling me you don’t know how much you’ve earned in the past.”

I replied “You didn’t ask about the past. You asked about the future”

He replied “Do you have a business plan”

I replied “No I work when I feel like it.”

He replies “Let me put you on hold”

Music 🎶 plays.

He asks “What is the name of your business?”

I reply “It has no name”

He asks “Well why not? That’s not ideal your business not having a name”

I said “Call it massage therapist”

He replied “But you need a name. This really is not sounding ideal”

I said “That’s what’s on my tax returns.”

He replied “Is it a full body massage”

I replied “that’s a rather intrusive question”

He said “You just don’t seem to have a business plan.”

I replied “Because I dont and I work when I feel like it. I have no plans. But I pay tax on what I earn. I may decide not to work at all some days but when I do I will pay the cash in to business account.

He asks “What are your average earnings in a day?

I said “Some days 100 pounds some days 800 pounds. Some days I sit and home and pick my feet.”

He puts me on hold again. Music plays.

He comes back and asks what I charge per hour.

I again ask why he needs to know this.

He puts me on hold again and returns saying they have no appetite for me and do not wish to continue with the application.

I ask to speak to a manager. There is none available.

I end the call and redial asking to speak to complaints. I speak to a nice man and tell him how the guy in Business banking offended me and that his questioning of me as to wherever I do a full body massage was intrusive and in appropriate. Also that the wording of how they have no appetite for me was disgusting.

He says that complaints usually take 5 working days but due to the serious nature of the allegation I would hear back quickly. 5 minutes later a woman calls and says they cannot trace the call(yeah right) but that she believed me and would I accept compensation.

She credited 8.50 for my time spent on phone and 65 pounds compensation.

She then made of point of telling me that as I accepted that the complaint would be closed.

Fine by me but I now need to try to get hold of the guy who told me to open a business account in the first place and explain why I have not opened the business account.

No idea how to do that as the only number on original letter is the main number for Natwest. Anybody who answers hasn’t a clue.


I really don’t want to have to stash cash under the bed.

Snooty and condescending bank employees are a pain and I have confronted more than one in my time to tell them to get some manners!

LOM I really don't know how you kept your cool.

Yay Lady box ticking muppets are infuriating. Perhaps try current accounts with other banks if you can? It's a game where you have to lie to satisfy their pointy pencils, especially if you're self employed. I had similar incident trying to get a business account with barclays, face to face he kept pressing 'would you need a loan for this therapy business, in ten different ways. I kept saying no. Then he shrugged his shoulders, put his hands on his face and said, ' Ive tried to help you all I can but you don't seem to need anything from us'.
I'm so glad I didn't get it like Amy says, you get charged through the ass and nose for everything. I'm ok with current accounts with various other banks.

Forgot that part. Yes he asked me more than once if I would want a loan. I had to keep repeating myself and say “I am only applying for a business account because Natwest TOLD me to open one!

Unfortunately they are like robots they want to here that you have big dreams of earning loads and planned it all out to the fine details.

I have had to do this several times over the year and to be honest i just satisfy what they want to hear and get a rough scribble down of projections etc.

Because you was so honest and basically said how it is they are not used to hearing this so he thought you lack enthusiasm to earn so he was thought you are not worth his time it would be different if you were trying to get overdrafts or loans or credit cards for it which you were not.

He was being rude and snooty and trying to embarass you by asking if you do the whole body then saying you are not his appetite just because you never gave the answers he needed to hear so it was good you complained and got paid something.

Sometimes some bank advisors ask a lot also to help like one did with me once and gave me some good advice and benefits for using them for something non escort industry stuff but he just sounded very rude becsuse you were being honest.

Unfortunately though some of these banks follow a certain protocol and if none of the answers are given fully they can and do decide to turn you down i know as it has happened in the past with 2 people i knew, HSBC being one of them as they can be a nightmare and do not seem to like it if you have bank accounts with others.

I have a business account it’s no different to your normal account. It just means all the earnings from your escorting will be paid in here. At the end of the year it’s so much easier to do yiur rax ad you don’t have all your personal banking on that account.
It won’t catch you out if your organised because you can declare a lot of expenses if your accountant knows what he’s doing. In years to come when you want to get a mortgage will really help you to prove yourself income also.

How did you get your business account and prove you're an actual business?