SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Katiexxx on 28 May 2017, 09:17:24 pm
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Hi girls,
Sorry for my english (it's not my first language).
I have met guy couple months ago. He made a booking for 2 hours straight after that he booked overnight with me. After overnight we become close and he offered to be my sugardaddy. I told him about my problems and he was so kind and helped me with ?4000. Well... I was not happy to accept it but he gave me 2 days to think about it. He bought me a new car and helped me alot.
14 days ago i went for holidays with my sister and he knew about it. Gave us lift to airport. I have been travelling south asia with my sister and he kept texting me all the time. Then sudently my sister been involved in an accident and i was not able to text him for 2 days. She nearly lost her leg in dirty asian hospital and i was very worried. Deffinetly not in mood to text him or replying texts. He was very angry and threw all things what he did for me in one silly email. I have tried to appologize but he was angry i have not texted him what i am doing where i am etc
Now he demanding all money back as i was not able to text him. Hes pestering me and claiming what he found out about me on internet He wants 3000 back (as i have spend with him 2 overnights before) and harassing me he wants money back as he knows my real name, age etc...
I will pay him back as soon as I can to get rid off him but he made me feel anxious and keep pestering me about his money.
Sorry again gor my english and any kind words would help xx
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He has no ground to ask for anything he's given you back, unless it was agreed between the two of you that it was a loan. Especially any money that he paid you for any overnights etc because you were working and he has bought a service.
If he knows your real name and is threatening to out you, you can go to the police, call 101 for advice. I've been told in the past by a DLO that if someone outs you without your permission then they are committing an offence. I'm afraid I am not sure which one, but I have been assured that it is something that will not be taken lightly, if that is the route you want to go down.
I hope you get sorted as this sounds rather nightmareish, best of luck x
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If he's demanding money because he knows your real name etc, this is blackmail and ILLEGAL. Don't give him any money, keep all the texts/emails, and threaten him with telling the police.
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Go to the police, this man is harassing you.
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Firstly so so sorry to hear about your sister and I hope she is well.
I've had 2 similar situations and know other girls who have too.
What does he mean "saw you on the net" Was there some kind of agreement that you entered with him when you accepted the gifts/money? Ie was it a trade for you to stop working?
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Someone posted an article on a man/the property tycoon who killed his escort lover after he gave her a nice home to live in. Money, punter, passion, jealousy etc. A Very dangerous mix. Were you away with a male friend or a friend who's a woman? A jealous man can be very, very dangerous. :-\ Another reason why we ought to stay away from them.
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Please go to the police, and DO NOT give this many any money back! As has been said unless it was a loan that was your money fair and square. This man is making you feel scared and it sounds like he is blackmailing you too, so please go to the police or call them on 101 anonymously for advice.
Escorting is not illegal in the UK and most officers are sympathetic and will help you, in the meantime do not reply to any of his texts and do not delete them as they will be your proof if you do report him.
X
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I'm going to go against the grain here perhaps, but you accepted 4,000 quid and a car (I think that's bonkers, but that's besides the point). There's no doubt he's being a twat, but I can also understand why he's asking for some money back.
I would compose one calm email to him and say that either you will do a certain amount of bookings until the 3,000 is paid off, or alternatively you'll repay him the cash in installments on the understanding that you'll have no further contact with each other.
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I'm going to go against the grain here perhaps, but you accepted 4,000 quid and a car (I think that's bonkers, but that's besides the point). There's no doubt he's being a twat, but I can also understand why he's asking for some money back.
I would compose one calm email to him and say that either you will do a certain amount of bookings until the 3,000 is paid off, or alternatively you'll repay him the cash in installments on the understanding that you'll have no further contact with each other.
I really don't think this is a good idea.. He lavished you with gifts as a way to try and have a hold over you. He's controlling and abusive and he has no right to ask for any gifts or money back. He's threatening you, which is blackmail. Definitely contact the police.
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I'm going to go against the grain here perhaps, but you accepted 4,000 quid and a car (I think that's bonkers, but that's besides the point). There's no doubt he's being a twat, but I can also understand why he's asking for some money back.
I would compose one calm email to him and say that either you will do a certain amount of bookings until the 3,000 is paid off, or alternatively you'll repay him the cash in installments on the understanding that you'll have no further contact with each other.
I really don't think that's a good idea. He chose to give her those gifts and that money, yes it's a bit mad and lavish but it was his choice at the end of the day. He committed to never seeing that money ever again when he gave it to OP. Imagine if someone went for an expensive haircut, gave a massive tip to the hair dresser and then threw a wobbly when they needed a haircut again but the regular hair dresser was on holiday and they demanded their tip back. It's just unreasonable. And after that kind of behaviour how is OP supposed to give a quality service if she were to pay him back in her time? I wouldn't want to have sex with someone like that even once, never mind how ever many hours it would be to pay back that much.
Also if he'll sink so low already, who's to say he won't blackmail her into giving more free time, once he knows he can get it? Too messy. Best thing for the OP to do is seek advice from the police. She owes this man nothing.
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I really don't think that's a good idea. He chose to give her those gifts and that money, yes it's a bit mad and lavish but it was his choice at the end of the day. He committed to never seeing that money ever again when he gave it to OP. Imagine if someone went for an expensive haircut, gave a massive tip to the hair dresser and then threw a wobbly when they needed a haircut again but the regular hair dresser was on holiday and they demanded their tip back. It's just unreasonable. And after that kind of behaviour how is OP supposed to give a quality service if she were to pay him back in her time? I wouldn't want to have sex with someone like that even once, never mind how ever many hours it would be to pay back that much.
Also if he'll sink so low already, who's to say he won't blackmail her into giving more free time, once he knows he can get it? Too messy. Best thing for the OP to do is seek advice from the police. She owes this man nothing.
Yes I agree and its clear that this man thought because of the car, etc then he owned you and I assume he's not telepathic and neither are you so you couldn't have guessed that he was really thinking "now that I've given her this/that/the other then she's mine and only mine" so accept it as a gift, do not give him bookings until its paid off; imagine how many hours you would have to put in with him?! Its his own stupidity that makes him out of pocket! You can't 'buy' people.
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Yes I agree and its clear that this man thought because of the car, etc then he owned you and I assume he's not telepathic and neither are you so you couldn't have guessed that he was really thinking "now that I've given her this/that/the other then she's mine and only mine" so accept it as a gift, do not give him bookings until its paid off; imagine how many hours you would have to put in with him?! Its his own stupidity that makes him out of pocket! You can't 'buy' people.
Also if he keeps harassing you then go to the Police and I think they will recognise his stupidity and tell him that its his own problem which it is. Serves him right for thinking that he owned you, another client that doesn't understand its only a business transaction for us!
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I really don't think that's a good idea. He chose to give her those gifts and that money, yes it's a bit mad and lavish but it was his choice at the end of the day. He committed to never seeing that money ever again when he gave it to OP. Imagine if someone went for an expensive haircut, gave a massive tip to the hair dresser and then threw a wobbly when they needed a haircut again but the regular hair dresser was on holiday and they demanded their tip back. It's just unreasonable. And after that kind of behaviour how is OP supposed to give a quality service if she were to pay him back in her time? I wouldn't want to have sex with someone like that even once, never mind how ever many hours it would be to pay back that much.
Also if he'll sink so low already, who's to say he won't blackmail her into giving more free time, once he knows he can get it? Too messy. Best thing for the OP to do is seek advice from the police. She owes this man nothing.
Absolutely agree! You'd have to be mad to ever see this man again who thinks it's okay to threaten you. If he gave the money willingly he has no right to ask for it back, and I'm sure a visit from the police will make him see sense very quickly.
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This perfectly shows the perils of a Sugardaddy arrangement he paid you a lot of money (Did you use his money to fund your holiday?) and thought this meant he owned you. Personally I would have refused any such arrangement as I don't like the idea of being owned or beholding to someone, I do this job for independence but each to their own. Up to you if you pay him back it all depends on how much harassment you can take...either way he has your attention now.
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On a very much smaller scale but similar problem I once had a client who bought me an expensive bedroom outfit. He loved me to wear it for most of the bookings but became very possessive and nosey, wanting to know more and more about my personal life which I was not prepared to tell him. He got very shirty with me as he realised I was not going to give in and tell him my real address or name and more.
Eventually I told him no more bookings and he asked for the outfit back. No chance mate! You give a gift no matter how big or small and that is what it is, unless a written agreement that it is on loan then it belongs to person it was given to.
I would not work off this payment the OP writes about either, no way would I give him bookings until the money is repaid.
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There have been a few threads on this subject.
I often wonder why some punter always wants his escort to dress in the same outfit over and over. I also do dislike punters too specific about what to wear as if it's the outfit they care about.
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But was the 4K a loan, a gift, or payment for services due? It's not entirely clear to me.
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But was the 4K a loan, a gift, or payment for services due? It's not entirely clear to me.
I think more clarity is needed on this.
The thread is also a great example of how clients can get narked if we aren't constantly responsive. I would have responded with something to explain I'd had a disaster / family stuff, making it clear I needed space and time. Sometimes some customers forget we are human beings.
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I think more clarity is needed on this.
The thread is also a great example of how clients can get narked if we aren't constantly responsive. I would have responded with something to explain I'd had a disaster / family stuff, making it clear I needed space and time. Sometimes some customers forget we are human beings.
I doubt he'd believe her if she was to say the disaster/family stuff tbh!
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I doubt he'd believe her if she was to say the disaster/family stuff tbh!
Well that's up to him.
I had someone get upset when I was uncontactable after being a victim of crime, and despite me putting this on my website, profiles and a message on my voicemail - all done whilst police were interviewing me/doing scene of crime stuff. When I next had contact with the person a few days later I most certainly did let him know what had happened.
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Men can be very unreasonable and vindictive (there are "good guys" but they are very few, lucky if you/we had met them) even if when we had no faults on our own. For example, if you've worked long enough we all have had clients, who get infuriated by their first booking, which did not go through because we happened to be busy. Then we often get "book and cancel" as if it's no big deal, most men don't even apologise for not following their bookings through. "so what?" attitude. Not even, "sorry, I forgot." WHAT DOES IT TELL YOU? (Sorry for caps lol)
One punter said, "arrogance" in punters is a known thing. It's probably to do with British men's ego thing. If you ever visit some places, men themselves are amazed how women are described. A "nice" guy/punter told me.
Men are Kings, women are not Queen. lol Someone posted Canadian punters are a lot nicer, but I don't honestly know, I know an English woman who was beaten by her Canadian hubby. Men are tricky, there are exceptions but maybe, there are quite a few of these men as we know we've seen similar stories on Saafe. 4K is a large sum of cash. He would have expected something worth ?4K in return. Not sure what it is but clearly, what he's saying is "that's not part of our deal" and he made it known. :-\
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But was the 4K a loan, a gift, or payment for services due? It's not entirely clear to me.
Yes, I also somehow fail to see the whole picture here, plus "what he found out about me on the net". Something is missing which is puzzling me.
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I'm so sorry to read about your sister and hope she recovers 100%
I know the situation was out with your control but I think your first mistake was taking his money and a car ..... then going on holiday. I'm surprised he was happy to take you to airport.
If the car he bought you is in his name he will be able to take it back anytime and even if it isn't I wouldn't be too happy driving it especially if this unhinged guys knows where it is etc 😢
When you get home I would be arranging to pay him back all monies he has given you except for monies he owes you for bookings already done.
Best to make the break now before anything further happens with him. Sounds like a bit of a control freak to me.
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I think we are all giving advice on something that we don't have the full details on. I feel a bit blind folded on this post.
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I would text and assure him that you will pay in installments. I would also remind him that sugar babying and escorting is legal in the UK.
Guys like this piss me off. I had a few like this too. A*&$holes!