I did strictly Domme work for the first 4 months and discovered that it's actually nothing like domming with my partners - not really much like domming in the lezzo world. My pro-domme mates who are lezzo have told me the same thing: massive culture shock.

I do find I get "Top Drop" if I do pro-domme as opposed to just the massage work.

I am also finding that I am very fed up with the passive aggressiveness of the straight dude punter. The neediness is through the ROOF. And I am discovering that in order to actually enjoy (and thus get fed back) those sessions instead of them being a total drain, I'm actually a complete and utter sadist and only like being "stone" (not touched)... which, to be honest is how I feel about the massage - I'm fine giving but I really hate 'no receiving anything, though I put up with very brief bits of it from time to time.

I did discover that the last tie and tease I did I actually didn't mind at all because I did what I felt like doing, I didn't even speak. And when he started asking me to sit on his face (he was tied) I thought 'no fucking way, I hate that.' so I ignored him and when he got insistant I slapped him across the face (I give great slap) with increasing strength for each time he asked after until he shut up. I was ice cold, silent and sadistic, which is more my style, really.

After I let him up to get dressed he raved about how much he loved it. I started thinking... maybe that's just what I should stick to (domme wise) for the last month I'm escorting. Just being a silent, sadistic, icy stone.

 With partners I'm a "sweetheart sadist". I go from warm loving giggling girl to sadistic top ice bitch, but while still mouthing "being sweet" (aw. poor darling. does that hurt? it looks painful. poor thing. *intensify pain*) in *seconds* and I find it very fun. But for work I am different, which makes sense as I'm being paid. But I'm finding I want to conserve energy as much as possible in domming so I am finding my role is very narrow. I also refuse to wear anything they want. I wear what I want - I tell people what what I will be wearing.

I don't want to be a service top, I find it way too draining. I can't do it.

How about you? Did it take you a while to figure out what levels/type of domination actually drains you the least? It's taken me 6 months!

I found this cartoon really amusing about "submissives" and found that actually, professionally that's what submissive clients mean  ...
http://www.oglaf.com/submission/1/