SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Londonergirl on 09 August 2014, 08:50:01 pm
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Dear all,
I was thinking on this question for a while now and am not sure about the answer. I am curteous to others' opinions on this topic.
1. Would you plan a baby while having no intention of ever giving up escorting?
2. Is it okay to be an escort and regard it as 'just another job' and move forward with your life?
3. Would you advise of getting a civvie life and quit escorting if you plan a baby/babies?
3. Or would you make a plan as you try your best to go civvie and during the transition you would continue escorting?
4. Or do you think negatives outweigh the positives?
5. Is it stupid to think everything to be okay on long term and 'just do it'?
Having these questions, am I worrying too much? I have fears for the future that is for sure I dont want to 'mess up'. I also worry about this question because while having these thoughts for a while I realized that during the years my belief in the institution of marriage and partners really shaken. What i constantly see everywhere is that people seem to be together for 1-2years maximum and it really makes me anxious and sad and full of doubt. It also got me into thinking aboutfinancing my future as raising children cost quite a bit and I want to make sure that I can provide on long term if me and my partner split.
I dont write about my situation as just want to know what you guys think in general.
Also I am not being UK specific (no social services worries).
Do you think that if I accept myself and my job then people (or society) will accept it as well?
Are we living in a modern society or this is just too optimistic thinking?
After all, gay can marry now and I am positive and open minded about it too.
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My advice would be to leave escorting for a couple of years while you conceive give birth and raise your baby.
I'm old fashioned so personally I think its one or the other you can't have it both ways you either escort or have babies.
Babies take a lot of investment of your time and emotions but thats not to say you cant return to escorting when your child is older.
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Society will never accept prozzies even if you accept as the stigma is set. Only clients are more accepting as their horny needs are met. In life we need to be carful with decision making as just doing it on the spur of the moment thing. Can mask bad situations possibly only later realising when there. So to be aware with a plan of action helps preventing. In escorting we need to think as cannot do hoping for the best. As this way of operating is dangerous especially when not all of clients behave.
''gay can marry now and I am positive and open minded about it too.''
This statement is in the civy world not prozzy so doesn't carry much weight about escorts being accepted.
The most important is thinking hard about your questions as you know best your circumstances.
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I don't have experience of this, but I think your main question should be how you're going to support yourself while you can't or don't want to work, and that's really the same for anybody who is self employed. You need to decide whether you're going to continue seeing punters one to one (even when you're trying, since you won't be using back up contraception and will need to think about what you'll do if you have a condom emergency) and if so will you reduce services, or go for webcamming and phone work as some people here have done?
Whatever you decide won't make a lot of difference anyway as you'll change your mind every ten minutes when you're pregnant :). But if you have enough money stashed away to support yourself then you have all your options open and then whatever you do before, during and after (even if that turns out to be nothing) is because you want to rather than because you feel you have no choice. Plus as Helen's said, you can stop and start at any time without it really mattering :).
As for whether or not 'society' accepts you and your job, do you even care? The views of judgemental and narrow-minded people I've never met and never will don't feature that highly on my list of priorities, and whilst everybody's different, I still don't think they should be something to build your personal life choices around?
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Amy, I'm in agreement with your last paragraph except I really wouldn't want my child being on the receiving end of the opinions of ignorant people. I live in fear of my daughter being affected by this, and wouldn't plan to have children whilst escorting. For me it was either this or homelessness with a baby (impossible to get a council house here). I do enjoy it but can't wait for civvie life.
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Oh, I do know what you're saying - what I really meant was that not having children because you're worried about what other people might think isn't on it's own a good reason; most prostitutes are mothers if the stats are to be believed. The sort of people who do this will single out and pick on others for any reason they can find, after all.
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hi
i have 4 children but 3 are grown and only one lives with me and my hubby she is 5 i have been doing this for money for a few months i am a sub i don't do sex as in the personnel services bit. i only do at the most 1 a week
i don't do in calls because 0f my child and it a council house anyway. also no one except my hubby now i do this it a difficult one the main reason im so private is my child i really wouldn't want anyone at the school to know what i do.
if i was pregnant a wouldn't work and the trying will be difficult if having sex with other people.
rose xx
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Personally thinking about baby planning while being in this demanding business would be stressful. There is a higher risk of miscarriage say a client mis behaves. A baby inside your child should be special. I wouldn't want to share with strangers. If my mum told me she was whoring with me inside her. I would fall out with her for a long time for being disrespectful. But this is just my way of thinking. As if she couldn't respect before was born my trust with her would be broken. If me would plan out side of escorting keeping my levels of stress down. Stress can contribute miscarriage also so thinking about while escorting is setting yourself up as a disadvantage.
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There is nothing wrong with being an escort and a mother but I wouldnt personally plan for a child while escorting no.
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I never said there was if you read it again, but then you agree with what I said. Each to their own. It was baby planning while escorting that is demanding enough I said then gave my personal view. Also it would be a precious time for me with my mind totally on getting pregnant. Not sleeping with other men as well at the same time. I would prioritise the baby planning but that is just my view.
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I never said there was if you read it again, but then you agree with what I said. Each to their own. It was baby planning while escorting that is demanding enough I said then gave my personal view. Also it would be a precious time for me with my mind totally on getting pregnant. Not sleeping with other men as well at the same time. I would prioritise the baby planning but that is just my view.
I think you misunderstood. My post wasnt in response to anything you had said, it was in response to the OP comment. Mine just happened to come below yours.
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Ok sorry about that take care. :)
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I worked through 2 of my pregnancies. I have older children too and they are school aged. I work normal hours, from 9-5 and it really works for me, in-fact escorting is great for working around my family commitments. I know not everyone will agree with working through pregnancy but I found myself just as, if not more busy with clients.
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But remember that it will freak some clients out. One said to me how another wouldn't take off her clothes. Then he saw and was mortified. It is a good thing there are decent clients. So is for some clients but when is hidden from them. It looks deep down she even knew it. And using another innocent life for financial gain because that is what it is.
I get very busy most of the time just offering my body. And realisticly working 247 without food will cause health problems.
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Thank you all for your replies, it was interesting to see different opinions :)
I was thinking more of the 'after the baby is born' part, not so much about the 'planning a pregnancy' tbh. As someone said the questions are for me to answer as i have to look at my own circumstances.
To respond to Amy, I think what you say is, would be the correct answer, ignore society/who cares about society, save enough money = wait for the perfect time= make enough money= work hard. These are of course only my interpretations. I am at the stage where I need to choose between what is correct and what is correct for me, and that makes a huge difference.
I think i 'work with scarce resources' e.g. money and time constraints. My own thinking comes bit in the way, eg. I want to be a mother before the age of 30 but at the same time when i think about money it never seems enough and whatever I could save I spend it. (I do not spend it on clothes, shoes etc but I save for a deposit, but once i have it, i spend it on a property and take a mortgage, so basically I spend it.) I think I am being realistic here, I do understand I need a fair bit of money in the coming years and I try to secure my future so I never need to worry about how i will pay the mortgage, whatever happens. Also business seems very slow recently for me, and while i understand i could probably advertise more to shake things up I don't think i actually want to as i am also building up another career in the way and also study and therefore reduce escorting.
I also consider moving to another country where my money i have would be enough to live my life without debt. However, infrastructure, lack of healthcare etc seems a big compromise in those countries i looked at so far. Therefore, as I put it I have to manage what i have, the scarce resources, and even if it seems irresponsible to some, to decide to have children while having no solid foundations (financially). And yes, this is self employed job however the nature of job is unusual with the stigma attached so I not only have to consider the self employment aspect, but what society says about it.
Sorry if my post doesn't make sense I am in mess pretty much but do hope you guys understand where I am coming from.
ETA: even to me i just realized, seems that I have a plan (before 30) but I ran into problems with the execution.
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I'm very open about my job. ALL my friends and family know and when my vindictive ex told social services about my job I had them involved. I stood by my choices and proved to them that I worked from a different place to where I live and also that I didn't expose my kids to any 'risk'.
My business is steady and I'm doing well at the moment but I am constantly worried about the times that I can't work and I also have a few health issues which have cropped up recently. I had my first at 16 and had more along the way. I wouldn't say I had children at the right time, i don't believe there is one, you have to follow your gut instinct on this one.
And also, I didn't use my bump specifically for financial gain. I was working before I got pregnant. I did inform clients I was pregnant and did make it a feature on my profile though. People may disagree but it's up to the individual.
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If people waited until they could afford children the human race would be extinct...lol
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Like in normal job, 8 hours a day, you hire a nanny and work normally.
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Getting preggers is something I plan on doing after my wedding next year
its different for me tho, im a dominatrix so I don't even get naked, will possibly switch to cam n phone when I get too big
Im also an Adult Baby Mummy so even when I get too big the adult babies will find this CUTE and be more inclined to book.. Plus there's the milking after which will make me one of the most popular adult baby mummies in the UK lol
Im actually looking forward to it...
I don't think it would work if I was just an escort, I would have saved up and just done cam n chat work and turn the hubby into a stay at home dad (Will do this still anyway)
Who knows what the future holds. I have a son of school age who lives between me n his dad, and I don't work from home I rent a dungeon so will keep the same routine when I have baby
Who knows what the future holds x
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I would work if you want to (pregnancy fetishes are a thing) and stop if you want to (because it is your life).
HOWEVER I would stop working to come off birth control, get pregnant, then start working again if you are going to work, because condoms can break and you don't want your baby to be a client's. If you hadn't already thought of that.