SAAFE forum

General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: LillyLu on 16 August 2020, 08:29:17 pm

Title: Using male friend's place for work
Post by: LillyLu on 16 August 2020, 08:29:17 pm
I thought to write a post about what I am leaving at the moment.
A male friend of mine Invited me to an expensive place where I could do my business too and he is cool with it. He also offered to rent a place together so that would be cheaper and I could have access to this place more often.
The fact is that I am no convinced.. when one collaborate with a male in this industry needs to be careful. Of jealousy when business goes well compare to theirs or to be taken advantage off.

I would like to hear your opinion ladies.
At times male have great contacts, but is also a road can can lead to a slavery in some ways where a lady doesn’t feel free.


[title edited for clarity]
Title: Re: Using male friend's place for work
Post by: amy on 16 August 2020, 10:43:51 pm
Renting a room is one thing, but 'collaborating' and him mentioning his 'contacts' make it sounds bit pimpy to me. I wouldn't do it, but then I wouldn't rent from anyone who knew why I wanted the place.
Title: Re: Using male friend's place for work
Post by: LillyLu on 17 August 2020, 08:54:49 am
Thanks Amy, I am a bit new to the industry and I am more an hobbits than other. He is a nice man too. But business is business and I rather be extra careful than take shorts cut that leads to a dead point or to emotional draining situations.
Title: Re: Using male friend's place for work
Post by: lillybliss on 17 August 2020, 11:28:39 am
I don't think you should and also he will be making money off of you so yes that's what we would call a pimp x.
Title: Re: Using male friend's place for work
Post by: LillyLu on 17 August 2020, 02:21:44 pm
He will no provide clients, but he would support me emotionally and yes we would share a flat rent. But today I saw that there are plenty of flats for a week, that’s all I need for business to be honest as I would tour.
Today we made a point that we will no do this together, on top of there is also the corona situation that make thinks very unpredictable.
As I said I am more an hobbits and he knows about this industry because of his EX. He is a good friend to me, but discussing my business with a male friend make me feel vulnerable and no focus at times.
Does make you feel vulnerable too to be open about business with male friends,
Title: Re: Using male friend's place for work
Post by: ana30 on 17 August 2020, 11:04:43 pm
If he's a friend who you know well and for a long time, has proven to be very trustworthy and given you emotional support when you needed it then I may "do the experiment" of moving with him, but if you don't know this guy super well hmm... In any case it's a situation were you have to feel 100% comfortable and doesn;t sound like your intuition is fully agreeing with it.
Title: Re: Using male friend's place for work
Post by: LillyLu on 17 August 2020, 11:15:49 pm
No my intuition is no totally ok. As I feel as I Could loose my freedom.
He is into domination and although we are mainly friends, I am concerned that at one point he will ask more and more about business and I don’t want to disclose too many details.
Title: Re: Using male friend's place for work
Post by: roseanna on 18 August 2020, 07:57:01 am
No my intuition is no totally ok. As I feel as I Could loose my freedom.
He is into domination and although we are mainly friends, I am concerned that at one point he will ask more and more about business and I don’t want to disclose too many details.

Sounds like a big No No then.

I've found that any involvement at all of the male gender, except as clients of course, always causes problems. Even having one know what you're doing can easily cause difficulties that are hard to foresee.
Title: Re: Using male friend's place for work
Post by: ana30 on 18 August 2020, 08:29:38 am
No my intuition is no totally ok. As I feel as I Could loose my freedom.
He is into domination and although we are mainly friends, I am concerned that at one point he will ask more and more about business and I don’t want to disclose too many details.

Your spidey senses are sending you a message. Follow your gut and don't move in with this guy.
Title: Re: Using male friend's place for work
Post by: LillyLu on 18 August 2020, 01:44:10 pm
I always been very intuitive, but only in this industry following my guts made a huge difference and also made me grow much faster in terms of awareness.

I often used open minded male friendships to get more involved in the sexual scene, but when it becomes sex industry, I really feel vulnerable as at one point I feel as we ladies got the power and the males can (even unconsciously) at one point get resentful or trying to take advantage of our business. Maybe if they are multimillionaire They don’t care. But yet I felt the intrusion in my life and not understood 100%.

The current situation is this now: he will rent the flat and I can come as guest. Another guy invited me to use his flat in this posh location and I will thankfully take and benefits from the invitations as much as I can. To make contacts tho. In the mean time I want to get familiar with the environment and build up connections. And yes than when will feel more stable and financially secure (also this Covid will be better) I will just rent a Airb&b for short periods as I can have my freedom!