Tickle you might want to edit your last post to remove the name of the clinic.
I understand that sex work is a potentially quick way to earn the funds you need for surgery. However, is the emotional and mental cost bearable?
Are there any local support services - either for sex workers or for LGBT people - that you can access? Just speaking to people who know the battles you're facing can be a massive support.
If you are in an area where there are poor support services, is it possible to consider moving somewhere you'd be better supported? Big cities are more expensive to live in, yes, but the advantage of having easily accessible and non judgmental healthcare and peer support groups is invaluable.
Whoops! I have edited this to "clinic" to anonymise the text.
There is help in theory but in practice not much help at all. I have to do everything myself. I can make sense of things for myself but battling through psychological damage and trauma and professional inadequacy and the fact that whoever I see may not realise the significance of something or argue over a line of policy even when I correct them or not having the time to read and comprehend even one book of guidelines when there is little to know meaningful training or case law is horrendous. I have loads and loads of equivalent examples in my case notes which clearly indicate what went wrong but the problem is the second I say it's a transgender issue it's like I become open season for mistakes or over-reacting or being shovelled to the back of the queue.
I was given the name of a lawyers organisation by a trans organisation. I asked them for help and said if all else fails this is a European Convention article 13 (remedy) issue and current European legal guidelines say where a healthcare dispute arises in all cases a trans person is entitled to court remedy. The head of this organisation panicked and said they didn't know any lawyer who could take this case. This is just one item out of 70 pages of discrimination logs. The trans organisation basically said oh dear before dumping me a second time (after they said they wouldn't let me be dumped after I complained they had dumped me the first time).
MIND are helping me but I have to write whatever it is I have to write up for them. I don't know what to say because it's too much and too distressing. I just want my healthcare without being blocked or abused or delayed any more and I've been stamped on for five nearly six years.
I've phone Stonewall and they hijacked my story and took it over and turned it into a gay issue writing me out. I sent all my stuff to Pink news and they ignored it. When I was suicidal I phoned LGBT switchboard. I asked them to phone Pink news on my behalf and tell Pink news what they advised me because Pink News won't listen to me. They said no because of policy. I bet if I was a gay man it would be front page news like a shot.
I'm not too bugged about sex work. It's my appearance which is getting to me. I need my healthcare and the lack of healthcare is affecting me. I've also had clients confuse issues and with clients I've declined they've said a few things they shouldn't on the phone. I can manage this but I cannot avoid the fact I haven't got my healthcare and this lack of healthcare is putting me at additional risk and creating and compounding stresses I shouldn't have. I can't relax or be around clients in the way I like without my healthcare and this rubs my nose in it so I feel worse. I would be similarly disadvantaged with a normal job or when looking for a normal relationship and having a normal and healthy sex life which is part and parcel why I have wound up where I am. I didn't choose this work but I'm not complaining either. I'm suffering more either way when I shouldn't have to when this suffering is avoidable.
A trans woman who was also a sex worker on the site I'm on was also a lawyer and ended up being pushed in front of an Underground train and died by another spiteful trans with issues. After she died all the lawyers said how wonderful she was but she was terrified of them and what they would do to her career if they discovered she was trans which is why she hid being trans. I don't want to wind up like her or the trans woman who was discovered in Bristol who had died alone. I also don't want to wind up so pressured I snap like two cases I have in my notes of women who had mental issues (which I don't have).
I understand academically systemic abuse and office politics but I don't have the practical or psychological wherewithal to manage this. I'm not stupid and know exactly what is happening and what did happen. I'm not inarticulate or insensitive. I just lack whatever magic thing or something whatever it is. This happened when I was seven at school. There's something about my development or some cocktail of circumstances which doesn't fit with with authoritarian regimes and don't rock the boat. I lack the whatever it is in my middle brain and I told a doctor this and this doctor later abused and threatened me and completely ignored my telling them they were in breach of GMC regulations and had lied and were harming me and had done critical damage. Another member of staff was in the room at the time and they just sided with the doctor because they are staff. They promised to help me or something after we left and had a very embarrassing scene in the middle of reception but they dumped me too. I read of a GP practice who ignored a patient who had an accident right outside the building. This is how appalling the NHS is when an incident happens right under their noses and this is exactly what they are doing to me. When a bomb went off outside the GMC headquarters all the doctors charged out to be heroes. I think doctor have a problem and don't know why but they are picking on me. I know what I need and want and don't need them to tell me and like one cop who was a trans woman said to me they are not used to it. I also suspect doctors want broken victims they can rush in to save. I have collected evidence that doctors are similarly abusing women with thyroid issues or lesbians. If this level of abuse is happening with cisgender women what is happening to me is equally appalling and I have been making a stand against this and they don't like it.
As for sex work the majority of clients I have seen or who phoned me have been very nice. There's a few oddballs I wouldn't really choose to be around and certainly wouldn't marry. Only a handful have been iffy and I'm fairly sure I manage to catch these.
I want my healthcare and to go out on a real date or out with friends properly. I did my best but I'm rubbish at sex work. I only ever had sex once in my entire life before beginning sex work. I don't have a clue.
Topic: Overcautious screening? (Read 5896 times)