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Author Topic: Overcautious screening?  (Read 5908 times)

Tickle

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Overcautious screening?
« on: 08 April 2017, 03:57:32 pm »
My weekends are normally very empty. I had a message not a call asking if I was about today and I replied with a standard message thanking them for their message and I was available and to call when they wanted to visit. They replied with "R U English". Um, pardon? (Hasn't read my profile and is a foreign scammer or is a racist alert!) I'm already not liking this and reply saying my details are on my profile and call when they wish to book and they did call soon after.

My screening isn't hugely complicated. I normally duck when and where (which I treat as red flags) and ask if there is anything which attracted them to my profile and what experience they are looking for. "Everything" or "what I am happy with" is too open ended from me and this is usually where there is an awkward pause. I like new clients to explain in their own words and unprompted not having to drag it out of them or be doing more talking than them. I feel uncertain and am cautious of violence or abusive sex and am unsure if this is me being problematic or the client being problematic.

I normally treat weekends as my time off although I am available. I'm wearing a plain white sleeveless top and a below the knee flare skirt and jumping through hoops to sex myself up or be lured into sex chat rubbed me up the wrong way.

I had my niggles so asked him how many escorts he had visited offering my speciality and he said "loads". I never believe men who say this and treat it as idle boasting. I doubt he has seen any and I don't need the grief if things became unpleasant. I could see where the discussion of wanting me to wear stockings was heading and I felt this was turning into a sex chat call. The thing which got me and I put my foot down on was him disrespecting my identity and I told him so very firmly. He didn't reply and ended the call. I blocked him which I was likely to do from very early on and wrote up my notes about this call.

As much as the money is nice and I really could do with the money this week at the back of my mind I'm not allowing myself to be bounced or held hostage for money.

When I was writing this topic I felt really anxious and had another call which was similar. This client sounded much nicer but I really flapped and after we arranged from him to call back when he was leaving I said I'm really sorry and I had just had a difficult previous call and been upset and he clicked off. I'm now even more upset. I'm not in the right frame of mind or mood. I was enjoying today and now I'm kicking myself for losing out on a call and hoping he doesn't phone back. I might turn my phone off today until I've got over this upset. If I'm not feeling good things will only get worse. If he calls as planned I will cancel because I'm not sure I can talk myself into a good mood.

amy

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #1 on: 08 April 2017, 04:08:17 pm »
It's somebody who hasn't read your profile (or maybe who has, but wants to confirm some of things on it) asking you to confirm whether you're English in a particularly abrupt and inarticulate way. 'English' isn't a race, it's a nationality.

I would do exactly what you did and ask them to call if they want to book. It's worth remembering that some perfectly pleasant people write all texts in this way and won't see anything wrong with it so it's easier to speak to them and decide based on that - you didn't like him when you did, therefore your screening is working fine :).

Bear in mind it's school holidays, so if there was a good time to trial run relaxing your screening, this probably isn't it ;D.

mature helen

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #2 on: 08 April 2017, 04:18:44 pm »
I think I've mentioned to you before that you need to 'toughen up' and get a thicker skin in this business.
I don't answer texts full stop and nothing a punter texted me would upset me.
You then tell a nice sounding punter that you are so upset from a previous text enquiry you might not be working is crazy,
Frankly I'm not surprised he hung up on you as you are not coming across as a business woman you are coming across as a princess or a snowflake.
Punters aren't interested in your previous punt, call or upsetting text, you need to learn to ignore/forget/block/ rubbish and annoyance move on in order to be happy and cheerful to the next phone enquiry as he could be a  potential new punter.
Don't share your business/problems/secrets/fears/ with a stranger on the phone he is a punter wanting you to suck his dick he is not the Samaritans .

amy

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #3 on: 08 April 2017, 04:24:04 pm »
You then tell a nice sounding punter that you are so upset from a previous text enquiry you might not be working is crazy,

I didn't read the last paragraph but I agree with Helen. The place to vent about the dafties is here, not to potential customers - at best he'll think you're a bit highly strung and unprofessional and at worst you'll sound unhinged.

If you're not up to taking a call, don't answer it - you can send a text explaining you can't talk now but can at X time (and I have at least half a dozen template texts stores in my phone) or you can get a call blocker that will cut off calls and send it for you :).

Curvygal

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #4 on: 08 April 2017, 05:24:03 pm »
I mean this in the nicest possible way so please don't take offense.  How long have you worked for hun?  You seem quite new to the business....don't let things like this get to you.  I get are you Scottish questions constantly - it's because there are so many foregin ladies in my town that they want to confirm it, that's all.  It's nothing.  What I'd also respectfully suggest is that by asking how many escorts they have seen offering whatever it is, you are instigating a sex chat.  This question opens the door for them to answer in all sorts of ways that we would find inappropriate.

I also agree with Helen and Amy that it's crazy to tell another client about that. 

If you have a bad call, I like to walk away from the phone for a minute, go and make a drink or whatever, then compose myself.  When you answer the next call, smile (Amy told me this - it sounds crazy but it works). 

There are lots of things about this business that are worse than the odd call for a daftie.  Get your head around these, because I'm fearful for you if a call like this is bothering you to that extent.

Hope your day gets better  :)

Mirror

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #5 on: 08 April 2017, 05:58:28 pm »
I've been asked during phone calls 'are you English?' when my accent definitely gives it away that I blatantly am.

I don't take offence, however that type of question usually indicates someone who isn't going to book because it's obvious they really haven't thought before making contact.

Deep breath, move on, pleasant on next call.

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #6 on: 08 April 2017, 06:08:20 pm »
It's nothing.  What I'd also respectfully suggest is that by asking how many escorts they have seen offering whatever it is, you are instigating a sex chat.  This question opens the door for them to answer in all sorts of ways that we would find inappropriate.

I agree with this in part, however as Tickle is TS, I do think it's a question worth asking, but perhaps in a different way. I offer strap on, and if a customer books for this I will always ask them if they have done strap on before. (Quite a lot of mine say "Yes, but um it was a long time ago", which tells me that actually they probably haven't done it before!)

If I am upset or feeling too tired and want to cancel someone, I just say "I'm ever so sorry but something's come up and I won't be able to see you today. I hope we can meet another time. Feel free to give me a call next week." If they ask what then I'll just reply "Family emergency" or something equally vague. I would never tell a potential client I was upset because then I'm exposing a vulnerability.

If a client sounds pushy or disrespectful on the call then I would always end the call. If I took the booking, even if they were perfectly pleasant I would be on edge throughout the booking and it wouldn't be a good experience for either of us.
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

Aqua Allegoria

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #7 on: 08 April 2017, 06:09:52 pm »
I've been asked during phone calls 'are you English?' when my accent definitely gives it away that I blatantly am.

I don't take offence, however that type of question usually indicates someone who isn't going to book because it's obvious they really haven't thought before making contact.

Deep breath, move on, pleasant on next call.

This.
Just this morning. An aggressive commanding guy starting with "I need to see you"
That didn't bode well for him. When they try to dictate things it brings the freaking monster out of me and I turn into a demon. Sort of Alien met Godzilla and had a schizo baby.

So he asks me "are you English"? My nationality is in my profile name and all over my profile. I followed quickly with "on what website did you find my number" and I heard he couldn't remember.

I don't get offended by "are you English/Chinese/whatever". That's not the problem. The problem with any sort of this kind of questions is : it means the guy didn't do his homework and has no clue who I am and what I do. This is the problem.

So the solution is: "please check my profile, make sure you like what you read, and if you do then call me again" (I block them though so they can't:)



honeymoonbarbie

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #8 on: 08 April 2017, 06:31:11 pm »
I've been asked during phone calls 'are you English?' when my accent definitely gives it away that I blatantly am.

Funnily enough, I had someone on the phone earlier today who asked me if I was English even though we'd had the usual pleasantries and you can clearly tell from my accent. What he actually meant to ask me was "what is your ethnicity?" because as soon as he was off the phone and I'd texted him a postcode he messaged me asking me to confirm I was british and blonde.

My profile clearly states that I'm an ebony escort with numerous photographs to support that.

amy

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #9 on: 08 April 2017, 06:55:41 pm »
I've been asked during phone calls 'are you English?' when my accent definitely gives it away that I blatantly am.
Funnily enough, I had someone on the phone earlier today who asked me if I was English even though we'd had the usual pleasantries and you can clearly tell from my accent.

To be fair, an accent doesn't confirm anything in particular - I've lived in Yorkshire for almost forty years and have a broad Northern accent but I wasn't born in England, my parents weren't/only one of my grandparents was and I don't describe myself as English because I'm not.

I think what they actually mean when they text it is 'do you speak English', but then if they're in mid conversation with somebody who's talking back then it's anybody's guess ;D.

Adele7

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #10 on: 08 April 2017, 07:55:54 pm »
I think I've mentioned to you before that you need to 'toughen up' and get a thicker skin in this business.
I don't answer texts full stop and nothing a punter texted me would upset me.
You then tell a nice sounding punter that you are so upset from a previous text enquiry you might not be working is crazy,
Frankly I'm not surprised he hung up on you as you are not coming across as a business woman you are coming across as a princess or a snowflake.
Punters aren't interested in your previous punt, call or upsetting text, you need to learn to ignore/forget/block/ rubbish and annoyance move on in order to be happy and cheerful to the next phone enquiry as he could be a  potential new punter.
Don't share your business/problems/secrets/fears/ with a stranger on the phone he is a punter wanting you to suck his dick he is not the Samaritans .

Totally agree

wishlist

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #11 on: 08 April 2017, 08:24:07 pm »
Bizzar to be honest, I'm asked on a daily basis 'am I english' not sure why but some people think I'm polish because of my pics, I would never ask a punter how many escorts he had seen, its crazy and non of my god dam business!!!

Kay

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #12 on: 08 April 2017, 09:43:20 pm »
I also agree with Helen.

If you're not in the mood to work full stop - turn your phone off. Potential clients can still email you and you can respond when you're in the right mood again.

Every call is a potential regular. I can suss out idiots within a few seconds and just get rid of them. Anyone else I'm polite, answer any sensible questions, sound positive and warm etc. etc. It's Marketing Basic Rule no.1. I might be sat on the loo, trying to make a roux sauce, watching my favourite TV programme - but I'll still give them my undivided attention and sound pleasant and welcoming while I do.

The only time I've ever interrupted a call is when my door bell's rung.

If I don't want to accept calls for any reason, I just switch off my phone.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

meetingdiversity

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #13 on: 09 April 2017, 07:28:03 am »
The reason most ask are you English is because there are profiles who mislead. So they are covering their back (Rightly so)  If one leaves a bad taste it isn't a good idea to tell another client who is genuine or any client.

From a clients perspective he phones for your advert and being told some one upset you. Doesn't portray the escort in a good light. Only because clients in their minds don't think of us like that.They just want a horny time, yes clients are selfish that is why they cheat.  Like Amy said it's better to vent here.

In clients eyes showing we are human with feelings isn't in their book. Just the way it is in the escorting world.


sweetmilf

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #14 on: 09 April 2017, 09:48:16 am »
I'm sure Tickles knows, knowing his bright posts about the notion of her own escorting, which I find to be quite unique and fascinating.  I believe that's what she strives to be doing.  If someone has a med condition (she mentions she does on this forum from time to time), it does affect the overall wellbeing in several levels.  Replies are all well-meaning, well-intended and valid from the established escorts but I would be cautious about not hurting her feelings much and discourage her.  We all experience times of not being himself or herself as a result of ill health/long-term med conditions.  Let's try to be a little gentle.   ;D