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Author Topic: Overcautious screening?  (Read 5886 times)

Kay

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #60 on: 12 April 2017, 02:05:08 pm »
Are you trans? Because if not, this comment is really dismissive. Transphobia in the medical community is rampant and there's still a lot of ignorance from doctors around trans issues. If you aren't met with trans friendly doctors then you'll be treated very poorly, misgendered constantly, potentially abused.

Obviously Tickle's situation is informed heavily on them being trans so honestly I feel like it's very unhelpful and invalidating when cis people here are saying 'well for me it's fine'. We're cis, of course it is. Plus sex work is one of the few industries that are open when finding civie work is so hard with trans discrimination there as well.

I'd second the thought to see if there's any sex work projects or trans support networks in your area?

No, I'm not, and I'm obviously aware of trans phobia and discrimination, but it just seems like Tickle has got to a rather extreme/toxic point, and that it's going to be difficult turning it around dealing with the same set of people. Also, if sex work is potentially fuelling any gender insecurity, then it's just going to make it worse.
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katrina

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #61 on: 12 April 2017, 02:05:49 pm »
Going back to the original question 'over cautious screening' I don't think there is such a thing, if I don't like the sound of a potential client on the phone I'm suddenly not working that day/fully booked. This 'gut feeling' only comes with experience, ie; handling a lot of calls/taking various bookings over time ie doing something over and over again (and that's not me walking with my tail in the air its a fact) There are plenty of other vulnerable young women doing this job who don't feel the need to keep stressing how risky it is for them.  Tickle if you feel that scared of meeting random strangers in a sex for cash situation maybe think about getting yourself some security? Sex work may look easy money but the dangers are always going to be there. Regarding the NHS yes its quite possible for discrimination to exist  just as racism in the police force, discrimination against sex workers within social services departments etc etc,  but nobody on this forum can wave a magic wand and get you the treatment you want. I'm not sure what else can be said other than what everyone else has offered in advice, there are plenty of threads about screening and security if you want to carry on escorting. One last thing is you appear to be treating this work as some sort of therapy/dating? That's entirely up to you of course but I don't think its healthy, always best to separate work from your personal life.

Tickle

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #62 on: 12 April 2017, 03:32:31 pm »
There are about five posts in this topic which directly addressed the issue of the topic which I found useful and supportive. I'm dwelling on those as I think they will be most helpful. I do have improvements and adjustments to make which is why I asked the question.

I think my formula I right for me from my perspective and now and the data I based this on is solid. The problem is the market is somewhere else both healthcare and sex industry wise. I'm also severely disabled with respect to both.  I was up late last night procrastinating and did some more reading and watching of videos and discovered data on discrimination relating to sex workers and also perceptions of beauty. This is very heavy and as I write this am experiencing a lot of emotional anxiety and trauma which I can only partially compartmentalise but my sense of identity and recuperative therapy is a positive space.

I just splashed out on Chanel Number Five. It's a good dupe so not the longer lasting original product but if the client believes it's real Chanel and lasts long enough for the booking the client will perceive the perfume well and I can bask in its halo effect. It's no more or less fake than anything else and for less than ?10 a little leverage which future bookings may help translate into the ?140 version.  :) I'm not sure about the strappy heels he says he wants to buy. I'll believe it when I see them and if he believes they make me sexy who am I to complain? It may just be a fantasy and a client isn't a client until the client arrives. This is my integrity out the window.  ;D

ParisB

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #63 on: 13 April 2017, 01:01:57 am »
A lot of guys don't like escorts wearing perfumes as some strong ones like Angel ,coco by channel , Dior  can linger / mingle on there clothes and might be s giveaway to any partners  ( im probably missing the whole point of the thread  ). But that's been my experience to the point that I don't wear any perfume unless it's a reg and I know he's fine with it
 


Tickle

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #64 on: 14 April 2017, 06:48:11 pm »
I began this topic because I wasn't sure if I was evaluating new clients as well as I could or if I needed to adjust aspects of screening chat. I'm happy with perfume fitting into this discussion because it's relevant in my mind even if this is working backwards from an end point!

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #65 on: 14 April 2017, 08:46:36 pm »
I wear mens aftershave during bookings for precisely this reason, but I have always suited mens fragrances more anyway. 90% of womens perfumes seem to be too sweet or fruity for me.

God I remember the glory days of CK One, I felt like finally someone understood my needs!

I do get a fair few clients who request "No perfume, no lipstick" when booking so it's definitely a discretion thing.

Actually this ties back to the original post - guys who ask specifically for this sort of discretion definitely know the score and are unlikely to mess you about. So if they ask this prior to the booking, it puts them very much in a positive light for me.
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Tickle

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #66 on: 14 April 2017, 09:24:09 pm »
I don't know if they still make this but saw BOSS once on a fragrance counter which came in a black bottle. A friend had bought this and he let me try some when I visited. Their women's range is very flowery and fruity. I must try CK One. I like the idea of musk if it's not too heavy.

Most clients are the other way with me. Clients who want perfume and lipstick almost certainly want my USPs. I don't have to climb hills or work against the grain to sell the product.

Guiltypleasure

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #67 on: 14 April 2017, 10:38:14 pm »
I sometimes have a little list of prompts for screening , just because I have a few key questions that can easily be forgotten .this may help a little.

Sorry but if only five comments were helpful maybe it's because most were surrounding health care issues and not screening .

I think it's a bit dismissive when you've had lots of responses 67 including your own ! these have taken time and trouble to write ( and read) all with the intention of helping .
« Last Edit: 14 April 2017, 10:41:20 pm by Guiltypleasure »

Tickle

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #68 on: 15 April 2017, 12:22:06 am »
I should have written my top post better. I need to balance health and screening. I'm managing my way through recuperation including backwash from male physical and online violence and political backwash. Most is thankfully historical but left its imprint. 'Sex, Lies, and Relocating Trans' by Professor Zoe Playton and 'Treatment and support of transgender and non - binary people across the health and care sector: Symposium report' (which also contains a contribution from Zoe) may help expand discussion. I had my reasons and sorry if I appeared ungrateful and tactless! This wasn't my intent. I may not always be able to shout about successes and cannot always contribute how I would like but I am grateful for your consideration and help.

With sex work I control my narrative and can say "no" and clients by and large treat me very nicely which is still a surprise I am getting over! I would like a bigger life than being a sex trampoline. Getting there!

Guiltypleasure

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #69 on: 15 April 2017, 12:38:45 am »
Well that's good , try to stay in the positive for now, put the rest on the back burner for a bit, try and look after yourself and try if possible to focus on getting well regardless ( for now all the PC and medical legislation try to relax on a bit)

Everything's easier to handle when we are feeling a little better mentally , also some SWs on here are also suffering/ enduring huge emotional battles, but we can't all post them all as the boards would be filled with personal problems .

I'm always interested in screening so I found all this a little hard to wade through , no offence intended at all but I think you need to chat in person on a one to one basis and that's what I'd spend my money on , not make p or perfume you can do that when you're motivated and stronger.

A transgender support group could help a lot or try and go to transgender, gay , bi ,lesbian support group or start one yourself and have a few friends around for a cuppa I would imagine they'd be better mentally equipped to understand and answer your complex questions , good luck ( and it's meant) :)


amy

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #70 on: 15 April 2017, 01:16:30 am »
I don't have the energy to tidy the perfume posts into a separate thread, but it's a different subject and it's been covered before so I'll have a look in the morning.

I haven't had time to read the rest but I can see that at least some members are trying valiantly to keep it on topic just as others are trying just as valiantly to throw in everything but the kitchen sink, and for the final time it needs to stop. This is a small forum with a narrow remit, and it isn't appropriate, advisable or fair on other members for individuals to use it as a platform to play out every single facet of their lives because they've found a captive audience. If it's not directly related to sex work, it does not belong on this board, if for no reason other than that there are better places and far more informed people to ask.

Screening now, I think. If nobody has anything new to add that's relevant I'll lock it tomorrow.

Tickle

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #71 on: 15 April 2017, 01:32:47 am »
I'm sorry I bungled this topic. I'm trying to better understand screening too. I lack experience and what I do know academically and professionally doesn't translate across very well. I also tried to keep the trans issue out of this topic which explains a lot of why I bungled it so badly.

My profile contains a spread of pictures. I'm especially interested in which style clients are interested in. My sense is the pictures provide a set of cues. My screening is an attempt to verify the clients internal narrative. This is a complex question to keep things simple I do agree the social aspect is a priority and something I'm keen to expand and more human contact would definitely help my mental health too. This is a more creative than thinky process. Borrowing the creative model where lots of different things happen and once moving towards a result I wondered if screening is similar. Maybe a range of experience and practice?

I've borrowed my different models from different sex workers. I'm not sure what I'm doing and how I'm going about things is right, and not best for me now. I have had experiences off my personal narrative which have been ok and this has helped eased tension and anxiety. Your other suggestions may help too plus other activities. I have wondered about taking courses in hospitality or chefing or flower arranging. They are different and experiences too and give me a better understanding which may help be an inspiration too.

meetingdiversity

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #72 on: 15 April 2017, 08:17:45 am »
I thought with all these pages of advice can help you understand screening. Screening is not so complex to how you are approaching I think.  Keeping it simple with help. I would feel overwelmed if I approached escorting like.

Some times escorting has got it's challenges

Guys are very diverse that is a big spread sheet lol.  To make it simple screen them, Ask them questions when in doubt, it helps with smiling while talking to them, Never give out your adresse straight away.

Trying to work out why and how they are you need to study social science. Personally I am not fussed with working them out beyond the screening.  It sounds like you are chopping and changing for your advice constantly.

I can screen working them out on their voice, there is screening advice on the forum. Hasn't the original question been answered yet?. 

meetingdiversity

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #73 on: 15 April 2017, 08:27:59 am »
I sometimes have a little list of prompts for screening , just because I have a few key questions that can easily be forgotten .this may help a little.

Sorry but if only five comments were helpful maybe it's because most were surrounding health care issues and not screening .

I think it's a bit dismissive when you've had lots of responses 67 including your own ! these have taken time and trouble to write ( and read) all with the intention of helping .

I was thinking the same that Tickle found four posts helpful to just pm them.  I find alot helpful as it is relating to escorting.

We all have at some point personal challenges I think but mixing them in with escorting is a disaster. Escorting alone sometimes is very stressful.

Guiltypleasure

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Re: Overcautious screening?
« Reply #74 on: 15 April 2017, 11:18:49 am »
I'm sorry I bungled this topic. I'm trying to better understand screening too. I lack experience and what I do know academically and professionally doesn't translate across very well. I also tried to keep the trans issue out of this topic which explains a lot of why I bungled it so badly.

My profile contains a spread of pictures. I'm especially interested in which style clients are interested in. My sense is the pictures provide a set of cues. My screening is an attempt to verify the clients internal narrative. This is a complex question to keep things simple I do agree the social aspect is a priority and something I'm keen to expand and more human contact would definitely help my mental health too. This is a more creative than thinky process. Borrowing the creative model where lots of different things happen and once moving towards a result I wondered if screening is similar. Maybe a range of experience and practice?

I've borrowed my different models from different sex workers. I'm not sure what I'm doing and how I'm going about things is right, and not best for me now. I have had experiences off my personal narrative which have been ok and this has helped eased tension and anxiety. Your other suggestions may help too plus other activities. I have wondered about taking courses in hospitality or chefing or flower arranging. They are different and experiences too and give me a better understanding which may help be an inspiration too.
Again , straight off the subject and more about you , seriously we all have problems , some massive , it affects our screening and we / I , everyone may have to tighten up, regard for others is really important and across these boards too .

Yes we can support one another but not hold up one individual continually , you do appear to pick and choose the advice / help you take . I'm not getting into this anymore. Unless someone posts on screening which is useful to me .

To prevent attacks and keep myself and others safe , especially anyone new here it's a valuable topic continually derailed .

Start a topic on alternative hobbies ( flower arranging etc somewhere else)but please stop just writing about you as an individual)

If I wanted to write about my lifestyle , hobbies , health , lifestyle etc ,it wouldn't be here unless it was sex related and stopping me working , but at the moment I could write a few books about myself and my fun but complicated life but I'm sure it would bore everyone to death and it wouldn't be helping anyone else in any shape or form so I keep to myself or use an appropriate site etc .