Quote from: Pink~Princess on 28 June 2014, 11:03:23 pm

Well we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. You can't compare an 8 hour shift in an office or supermarket to a 2 hour shift having sex with strangers, yes working in a proper job is harder work physically but being an escort is a total mind fuck at times as it hits you mentally. They are completely different. This job isolates you, you have to lie to everyone you love and care about, you live a double life and are always at risk of inviting a complete nutter into your home which sometimes is enough to turn the sanest of us round the bend.

I have been getting some online shit the last couple of days over something silly I said to someone which has put me in such a downer, put my stress levels through the roof and really made me unhappy and unable to concentrate properly the past couple of days although things are hopefully settling down now and that's from a bunch of unknowns on the internet so when bad things happen for real when face to face with a stranger, it's terrifying. Sometimes I think I am really weak and compared to most escorts, I am weak but compared to the average civvie girl out there, I am tough because this job ain't easy. The daily abuse and threats you get aswell is another issue although lately since I started using my old iPhone for work and am now able to start blocking people, it's been a lot better.

I honestly don't think anyone who is unsettled in the mind prior to escorting should ever go down this road but others might disagree with me and each to their own, I am not trying or meaning to offend as I know it's a sensitive subject.

xx

Neither her nor I are isolated - all my friends know, all her friends know, my boyfriend knows, we're both kinky poly weirdos and have been for years (we actually met in a fetish club) so it's impossible for either of us to be friends with anyone who isn't crazy open minded. I post about pro-Domming on Facebook all the time. Girlfriend isn't sub, she's switch, like me (I choose to only Domme in my professional life but switch in my private life), and neither of us have sex with clients, only do kinky stuff.

So far the only disagreement we've had over this thing is that she wanted me to switch during duos and I was unwilling to. She got frustrated at me for narrowing our market but I find subbing much more emotionally involved than domming so stood my ground.

Yes, I am on the autistic spectrum, I have problems with anxiety and with depression. That doesn't mean I don't know myself and my limitations, I have been doing this mental health thing for years and it has affected all aspects of my life. When I'm having a good period I'm almost normal, when I'm having a bad period I become almost entirely non-functional, and I spend my whole life drawing up contingency plans for if and when I encounter another non-functional period. Sex work has a simple and effective contingency plan and knowing that I have this stressfree and easily enacted contingency plan makes it a lot easier for me, in addition to all the stuff I mentioned earlier.

Whilst I appreciate your concern, you say yourself you have no psychiatric problems - lucky you - so I'd appreciate it if you could not assume you know more about my limitations and abilities than I do. I cannot go to a big shopping centre (Westfields - shudder-) or attend a live gig without leaving stressed, exhausted, and wanting to crawl into bed for the next 10 hours, but I can do a two hour pro-Domme booking and walk out feeling on top of the world. I know that sounds weird, but please trust my ability to evaluate my own mental state.

Absolutely spot on, I relate to so much of your post.

I work full time and have been in my current job for 10 years.  It causes me untold anxiety due to the level of responsibility, liaising with agencies, facilitating meetings etc.  Escorting comes so naturally to me and in comparison is a breeze where my social anxiety is concerned.

My only suggestion would be to help your partner through the process of handling the administration side on her own.  Tackle it together and look at it as a way of helping her grow.  When I was 18 I had a massive phobia of telephone calls.  I still email where possible (im 30 now) but my Dominant at the time helped me become more comfortable with myself.   He also helped me become more organised and grow into a well rounded adult.

I like to think that everyone come into your life for a reason so if this could be something she gains from having you in her life then I think it would be really beneficial.

Just my tuppence worth

Quote from: Pink~Princess on 28 June 2014, 11:03:23 pm

Well we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. You can't compare an 8 hour shift in an office or supermarket to a 2 hour shift having sex with strangers, yes working in a proper job is harder work physically but being an escort is a total mind fuck at times as it hits you mentally. They are completely different. This job isolates you, you have to lie to everyone you love and care about, you live a double life and are always at risk of inviting a complete nutter into your home which sometimes is enough to turn the sanest of us round the bend.

I have been getting some online shit the last couple of days over something silly I said to someone which has put me in such a downer, put my stress levels through the roof and really made me unhappy and unable to concentrate properly the past couple of days although things are hopefully settling down now and that's from a bunch of unknowns on the internet so when bad things happen for real when face to face with a stranger, it's terrifying. Sometimes I think I am really weak and compared to most escorts, I am weak but compared to the average civvie girl out there, I am tough because this job ain't easy. The daily abuse and threats you get aswell is another issue although lately since I started using my old iPhone for work and am now able to start blocking people, it's been a lot better.

I honestly don't think anyone who is unsettled in the mind prior to escorting should ever go down this road but others might disagree with me and each to their own, I am not trying or meaning to offend as I know it's a sensitive subject.

xx

Neither her nor I are isolated - all my friends know, all her friends know, my boyfriend knows, we're both kinky poly weirdos and have been for years (we actually met in a fetish club) so it's impossible for either of us to be friends with anyone who isn't crazy open minded. I post about pro-Domming on Facebook all the time. Girlfriend isn't sub, she's switch, like me (I choose to only Domme in my professional life but switch in my private life), and neither of us have sex with clients, only do kinky stuff.

So far the only disagreement we've had over this thing is that she wanted me to switch during duos and I was unwilling to. She got frustrated at me for narrowing our market but I find subbing much more emotionally involved than domming so stood my ground.

Yes, I am on the autistic spectrum, I have problems with anxiety and with depression. That doesn't mean I don't know myself and my limitations, I have been doing this mental health thing for years and it has affected all aspects of my life. When I'm having a good period I'm almost normal, when I'm having a bad period I become almost entirely non-functional, and I spend my whole life drawing up contingency plans for if and when I encounter another non-functional period. Sex work has a simple and effective contingency plan and knowing that I have this stressfree and easily enacted contingency plan makes it a lot easier for me, in addition to all the stuff I mentioned earlier.

Whilst I appreciate your concern, you say yourself you have no psychiatric problems - lucky you - so I'd appreciate it if you could not assume you know more about my limitations and abilities than I do. I cannot go to a big shopping centre (Westfields - shudder-) or attend a live gig without leaving stressed, exhausted, and wanting to crawl into bed for the next 10 hours, but I can do a two hour pro-Domme booking and walk out feeling on top of the world. I know that sounds weird, but please trust my ability to evaluate my own mental state.

No I don't have these issues so excuse me for not completely understanding. You started a thread asking for our advice, I tried to give that advice based on what I know myself and I apologise if I have offended as that wasn't my intention.  You seem to think you have it under control so your aswell just carrying on doing what your doing.

Actually PP she didn't ask for advice, she asked about the legality of the situation, that's it.

I know BlueDomme in real life. We are ridiculously close. I also know her girlfriend. They are both lovely people in a healthy, consensual dynamic. No, she does not abuse her girlfriend. All she does is help her send messages to clients that her girlfriend doesn't want to deal with. She does not take any of her girlfriend's earnings. She does not do or say anything without her girlfriend OKaying first. Her girlfriend is an adult human being who enjoys the SW that she does, she just likes to lean on her partner for support, which I'm sure a lot of us do in some way or another. Is having someone write a few emails for you any worse than having someone make you a website or take your photos? I really don't understand why everyone is ganging up on my best friend.

Yes, they both have mental health disorders. So do I. So do 1 in 4 people in the UK at some point in their life (not just depression). Yes, they do duo work sometimes, like a lot of other people on this forum. Give her a break. She is a lovely, intelligent, funny person as is her girlfriend and they have been very much in love for years. SHE IS NOT ABUSING HER.

Ugh.

Did I say she was abusing her? I was more worried about clients abusing her and taking advantage of her if she finds the admin side of things so overwhelming then what's the physical side gonna beike for her? This is the words of the OP.

Right am bored now of my words getting twisted. In future, I will agree with everyone and then that way everyone in the world will be exact same.

I will say it again, my intention wasn't to offend. I thought I was helping by saying that maybe someone who has problems mentally and who finds dealing with emails etc so overwhelming that she probably shouldn't enter the world of prostitution cause I can't see how that will help but then again I don't have these issues so clearly I am wrong.

Hello, I am the partner in question, here to represent myself as I feel uncertain that we are all on the same page.

I do not consider myself a sex worker. I consider myself an adult entertainer. I do NOT do any of the following for money: sex, oral sex, handjobs. I am a little anxious about solo bookings because I want to make sure that no clients turn up assuming that me saying that these services are not included is just me trying to avoid legal issues. Actually, my attitude is that if something seems like fun at the time, then I will do it. If not, I won't. So I want people to turn up assuming that I will only be offering kink, voyeurism, kissing and massage (which I think are all legal to offer?). There is an outside possibility that if I am really enjoying myself I will get turned on and want to go further during a booking but I absolutely do not want anyone to hope or assume that this will happen, and this is why I worry about people putting pressure on me. I know that my partner, however, in her domme persona will attract only clients who will accept a firm NO if they suggest something that I do not spontaneously decide to do. She is allowed, in her role, to play the bitch, and only clients who will yeild to this will book through her. Add this to the fact that she is much better at organising her time than I am, and that is why I prefer her to arrange the specifics of where and when we meet someone.

Hello, I am the partner in question, here to represent myself as I feel uncertain that we are all on the same page.

I do not consider myself a sex worker. I consider myself an adult entertainer. I do NOT do any of the following for money: sex, oral sex, handjobs. I am a little anxious about solo bookings because I want to make sure that no clients turn up assuming that me saying that these services are not included is just me trying to avoid legal issues. Actually, my attitude is that if something seems like fun at the time, then I will do it. If not, I won't. So I want people to turn up assuming that I will only be offering kink, voyeurism, kissing and massage (which I think are all legal to offer?). There is an outside possibility that if I am really enjoying myself I will get turned on and want to go further during a booking but I absolutely do not want anyone to hope or assume that this will happen, and this is why I worry about people putting pressure on me. I know that my partner, however, in her domme persona will attract only clients who will accept a firm NO if they suggest something that I do not spontaneously decide to do. She is allowed, in her role, to play the bitch, and only clients who will yeild to this will book through her. Add this to the fact that she is much better at organising her time than I am, and that is why I prefer her to arrange the specifics of where and when we meet someone.

It's you! <3

For anyone wondering - I didn't ask Ophelia to post here. I told her I was in a grumpy mood because of this thread and linked it. She then made her own decisions. Which she normally does. Because she is her own person. And I just do the paperwork.

On a good day, I can make the same amount per hour on my cam without doing any sex acts, often without removing my clothing (although I am perfectly happy to be naked). Since meeting in person is not going to be any more financially rewarding than booking several equivalent webcam sessions, why am I interested in doing it? Because it sounds like fun and like something that I would enjoy experiencing in my mission to live a rich and intense life. I am only afraid of what will happen if I am not understood... So advice on that would be welcome.

I don't claim to know about the legality of it but I do know it screams pimp to me. If I met a lady in that situation I would be concerned for her.

PP my comments weren't necessarily about you. Others have implied that this is somehow abusive. It isn't.

Lovely to see you on here MissOphelia

I hate to say it Ophelia but adult entertainer is just a flowery word for a sex worker.  Walk like a duck, quack like a duck, sure as f**k .........

Join the club, we are still human beings without horns or anything similar, just doing our job .......