See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See  (Read 2284 times)

Gypsy

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,820
One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« on: 30 December 2022, 08:36:34 am »
He came to see me for years, very entitled and demanding and pushed boundaries. I put up with it because he was very regular. He also expected a price reduction and stopped seeing me when I told him he'd have to pay full price when his visits became very sporadic.

I did see him this year one time as he paid full price but now he wants to see me again and his demanding nature has come back.
I'm not sure what to do as if I block him or tell him I no longer want to see him again I'm worried that he cause trouble with AW for me like getting my account suspended.

Any advice please. Thanks
These days there are no Prince Charmings. A girl just has to be her own hero

Mirror

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 7,111
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #1 on: 30 December 2022, 08:55:34 am »
I would just tell him, I'd think of something such as 'I can't offer what you are looking for/feel under pressure/can't meet your demands'.

I'd probably tailor my words to the boundaries he's pushed. Because I tend to give warnings first, I can then refer to those saying I had tried, kept asking but no change.

Quite a few years ago a regular pushed boundaries every booking, be it money, time, free time, or services I was not keen on (and eventually decided to actually cease even trying those services). After much patience and trying (he had had plenty of free time/overruns/whilst enjoying a discount & trying those services) I finally explained it was either stick to time & stop pushing for things he knew I did not want to do/did not offer, or stop the bookings. He agreed but could not resist starting to sneak in the pushes again. I stopped accepting his bookings and told him why. Some months or even a year later he said he had changed, would not be pushing, wanted to have a booking. I agreed but it was the same so stopped again.

He has asked me again, I always ask him "Are you sure you will not push for....." I ask him very firmly, and he admits he won't stop pushing. Last time he contacted me I just said "No". I looked in CE there is a report which is exactly my experience even down to a few odd and repelling things about him. Whilst he was a regular he booked another Escort who told me just the same, at the time I had told him if he wanted certain services he was better booking someone who offered them. So I know it's not just me (which is easy to feel) being unreasonable. I seem to remember adding my own report to CE about him - making the timescale clear to show he does not change.
« Last Edit: 30 December 2022, 09:35:04 am by Mirror »

BeaBea2

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 55
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #2 on: 30 December 2022, 12:42:02 pm »
Narcissistic behaviours.

Gypsy, I understand it is worrying that he might cause trouble but you can't control what he does. As you've seen! There are other decent clients to be had. He doesn't deserve your time or energy even if he is paying you. Your business so you choose your clients. Otherwise he traps you and that can impact in other ways and erode not just your self-esteem but make you compromise for others and it is hard to get out of.

Mirror

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 7,111
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #3 on: 30 December 2022, 01:08:30 pm »
Narcissistic behaviours.

Gypsy, I understand it is worrying that he might cause trouble but you can't control what he does. As you've seen! There are other decent clients to be had. He doesn't deserve your time or energy even if he is paying you. Your business so you choose your clients. Otherwise he traps you and that can impact in other ways and erode not just your self-esteem but make you compromise for others and it is hard to get out of.

Yes far more succinct than my waffly answer.

So easy when new (was for me) to put up with behaviour thinking it is expected, or unfair of me to draw the line, this was taken advantage of BUT as you say there are many punters/clients who would never dream of overstepping even if you haven't even put the boundary in - they just know what is or is not fair.

Justine

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2,112
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #4 on: 30 December 2022, 01:23:38 pm »
When new in this game it is easy to allow all kinds of bad behaviour because they are the ones paying. I saw clients again and again despite them being arrogant/disrespectful and more!  One man loved  to receive my strap on but was always unclean and it nauseated me but I was not assertive enough to tell him. Many more examples and I could slap myself when I recall how timid I was but now !!! two strikes and they are gone!

Milf-G

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 916
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #5 on: 30 December 2022, 02:49:26 pm »
It is more than OK to sack regulars Gypsy. Please don't put up with boundary pushing.

One More Rodeo

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 349
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #6 on: 30 December 2022, 05:56:43 pm »
Narcissistic behaviours.

Gypsy, I understand it is worrying that he might cause trouble but you can't control what he does. As you've seen! There are other decent clients to be had. He doesn't deserve your time or energy even if he is paying you. Your business so you choose your clients. Otherwise he traps you and that can impact in other ways and erode not just your self-esteem but make you compromise for others and it is hard to get out of.

Really well put.
The price of dealing with this type of people can be huge and the sooner you're able to cut them off the better.
I would block him without giving any explanation.

Miffy

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 914
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #7 on: 30 December 2022, 06:12:05 pm »
Decline his bookings and don't explain or else don't even bother reading/responding to them.  You have no reason to justify your reasons for not wanting to see him again. 

And what is he going to report you to AW for?  He's the boundary pusher.

Gypsy

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,820
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #8 on: 30 December 2022, 09:24:05 pm »
Decline his bookings and don't explain or else don't even bother reading/responding to them.  You have no reason to justify your reasons for not wanting to see him again. 

And what is he going to report you to AW for?  He's the boundary pusher.

He's left me numerous field reports when I used to see him gushing how wonderful I am. Which is true  ;D ;D
AW are processing my phone chat credits at the moment and they're due in my bank account next Friday. I guess I'm just paranoid something is going to kick off and they'll terminate my account or something  ??? He's never threatened reporting me to AW so I hope I'm worried for nothing.
These days there are no Prince Charmings. A girl just has to be her own hero

Mirror

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 7,111
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #9 on: 31 December 2022, 06:16:52 am »
He's left me numerous field reports when I used to see him gushing how wonderful I am. Which is true  ;D ;D
AW are processing my phone chat credits at the moment and they're due in my bank account next Friday. I guess I'm just paranoid something is going to kick off and they'll terminate my account or something  ??? He's never threatened reporting me to AW so I hope I'm worried for nothing.

The credit should arrive Tuesday is this the first time you've cashed out (withdrawn credits)?They give a Friday date but they usually arrive the Monday before, I'm allowing for Bank Holiday for Tuesday.

Gypsy

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,820
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #10 on: 31 December 2022, 09:58:34 am »
Ah, they said Friday 6th January as I withdrew them not last Sunday but the Sunday before.
These days there are no Prince Charmings. A girl just has to be her own hero

Gypsy

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,820
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #11 on: 31 December 2022, 10:02:28 am »
The credit should arrive Tuesday is this the first time you've cashed out (withdrawn credits)?They give a Friday date but they usually arrive the Monday before, I'm allowing for Bank Holiday for Tuesday.

No, I've withdrawn them before. It's usually 2 weeks, isn't it.

He's sent me another email apologising, but I've yet to read it. I know it's an apology by what it's titled. I'm not going to read it today as I want some time off to enjoy the weekend. I've had a busy week  :)
These days there are no Prince Charmings. A girl just has to be her own hero

BeaBea2

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 55
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #12 on: 31 December 2022, 05:20:40 pm »
Gypsy, stay strong and don't open that email! His apology is simply to keep your attention and you feed him if you respond. Curiosity and kindness can be very detrimental to yourself. You owe him nothing.

 Something I read which was useful when I was recently mid-problems with a narcissist was to focus on myself and use the energy otherwise expended on him to get on with things for me. Applying it here, maybe it could be editing profile/sorting pics etc, anything to improve your business. Make him smaller, so small he disappears from your head.

Thanks Mirror - however practical, real life examples are so useful so I found your post informative not waffly. Theory is all very well about narcissistic behaviour but putting it into practise is the key.

bustybbwsteph

  • Guest
Re: One of my First Clients Who I no Longer Want to See
« Reply #13 on: 01 January 2023, 08:44:33 pm »
I wouldn't worry about what he 'might do' & focus on looking after yourself & keeping your boundaries strong

What can he actually complain to AW about & what are AW actually going to do about his complaint? (Considering they are no monitoring and approving all of our feedback, profiles etc) He wouldn't really have a leg to stand on