See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Not seeing married/cheating clients  (Read 4540 times)

lora

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 230
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #30 on: 30 November 2024, 04:21:49 am »
IMO this is not the right job for you

TheNamelessGhuleh

  • New Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #31 on: 30 November 2024, 08:42:28 pm »
IMO, the best way to work is "don't ask, don't tell". I don't ask them anything that isn't important to book, and don't tell them anything that isn't important to the booking. If they ask if I'm single, I just say "I don't like discussing my personal life".

I will say though, I approximate that 80% of my bookings are married men, with some telling me, some having her as their WhatsApp or lock screen pic, some wear rings etc. These tend to either be the best/most respectful in bed, or efficient in-out-gone style. I have personally found that most of the single men are either unhygienic, clingy, or try to push timings or boundaries. I have lost count on how many middle aged single men have asked if I'd date them.

But like I mentioned, don't ask, don't tell and you'd likely never know. If you do find out, finish the booking and don't allow them to rebook you.

lora

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 230
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #32 on: 01 December 2024, 01:49:54 pm »
You compare it to blocking people based on age or race but these are not things you can easily lie about. How will you know if they are single or not....obviously they could just lie. Even with your sugaring arrangements how do you really know if they are single?

Lucia__S

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 86
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #33 on: 02 December 2024, 01:28:48 am »
I somewhat abid with the rule, it’s tricky though and undoubtedly you will never be able to stick to the standard unfortunately as, like most ladies have informed, men fucking lie!!! Haha, but you have to take it with a pinch of salt and get on with it. If they inform me through messages in their lapse of integrate towards their spouse I immediately decline, but a lot of course show up with their wedding rind on and as much as I dislike these appointments, the cloak of shadow is already on and you can not point out a wedding ring within an appointment. If a client starts talking about their spouse within an appointment which I have had many times with them going into detail and iv even been shown sex videos on their phone, I will happily smile along until they’re out of the door and if they even want to see me again I will decline with the reason why. It’s a soft spot but you can make it work as long as you know throughout your moral compass, you will definitely be sleeping with married men but blindly unaware. And that’s how I save whatever moral compass I have left lol

IfUSeekAmy

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 11
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #34 on: 02 December 2024, 01:32:44 pm »
Even with your sugaring arrangements how do you really know if they are single?

Theoretically I do not, although they'd have to have quite a skill in deceit and weaving a web of lies, since they often complain to me about their exes and our meetings are often dictated by their predictable and routine child custody arrangements. I've also seen their houses.
I did actually have one arrangement that I suspect may have been lying to me about his supposed divorce. We saw each other three times before I broke it off, but he never invited me to his house despite us living in the same city, he was rather vague when I asked him about his child custody arrangements, and he never once mentioned his ex (very unusual in my experience). I broke it off because the third time we saw each other, it took him 5 days to send me the money, which in hindsight I suspect may have been another sign that he was deceitful. I don't feel upset at the idea that I potentially slept with a married man, because at the time I was none the wiser.

lora

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 230
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #35 on: 02 December 2024, 01:37:53 pm »
If anyone can afford to turn down married clients for moral reasons then they are very privileged and obviously sex work is not their main source of income. Not everyone can afford to have a moral compass. I don't even look at their wedding finger. It would never even cross my mind. Some want to explain why they are "cheating" on their wife. I tell them politely that I really don't care and they are not obligated to explain themselves.
  You won't be successful in this industry if you are not comfortable servicing clients who are not single. And you are SERVICING them!! Not making love or facilitating infidelity. If you can't tell the difference your in the wrong job.

IfUSeekAmy

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 11
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #36 on: 02 December 2024, 01:49:41 pm »
don't ask, don't tell and you'd likely never know. If you do find out, finish the booking and don't allow them to rebook you.

I somewhat abid with the rule, it’s tricky though and undoubtedly you will never be able to stick to the standard unfortunately as, like most ladies have informed, men fucking lie!!!

This approach may be the only answer, alongside making myself more appealing to the single man and less appealing to the married man, for example with when I offer appointments etc. It's very much the knowing that they're cheating that would bother me as it would make me feel complicit in the act. It's true what they say, ignorance is bliss 😂


[giant unnecessary quote redacted]
« Last Edit: 02 December 2024, 01:52:12 pm by amy »

amy

  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,798
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #37 on: 02 December 2024, 01:56:19 pm »
I don't even look at their wedding finger. It would never even cross my mind.

Nor mine. Apart from anything else, plenty of married men (and women) don't wear a wedding ring, and plenty of widowers (and widows) do :)

I'm pretty sure that everyone here has a moral compass, though. What we don't generally do is try to impose it on other people.

IfUSeekAmy

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 11
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #38 on: 02 December 2024, 02:01:01 pm »
If anyone can afford to turn down married clients for moral reasons then they are very privileged and obviously sex work is not their main source of income. Not everyone can afford to have a moral compass.

Absolutely, like I said I have a full time civvie job so don't rely on sw to pay my bills, so in this instance I can afford to have a boundary such as this. But I'd like to make clear that just because I feel a certain way morally about something, doesn't mean to suggest that I look disapprovingly on or judge anyone else who views things differently or does things differently  :)

Patricia

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 60
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #39 on: 02 December 2024, 04:41:42 pm »
But I'd like to make clear that just because I feel a certain way morally about something, doesn't mean to suggest that I look disapprovingly on or judge anyone else who views things differently or does things differently  :)

Phew! That's a relief.

IfUSeekAmy

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 11
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #40 on: 02 December 2024, 05:46:25 pm »
Phew! That's a relief.

Lol I know no-one should care what I think🤣 I thought I picked up a slightly defensive tone from a few of the comments, could be wrong! So just felt the need to clarify I wasn't attacking anyone!

Gazaro

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 26
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #41 on: 03 December 2024, 12:29:56 am »
If we, escorts, stop giving sex to married men, it won't stop them from cheating. They will just go and have an affair.
And I think it's better if they come to us, pay, have sex and go home happily, rather than find a woman, develop feelings for her, and leave their wife.

matureho

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 72
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #42 on: 03 December 2024, 08:13:39 pm »
I’m still curious about the screening process

sugar

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 428
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #43 on: 04 December 2024, 12:33:41 am »
60% of our client based are married or in long-term relationships. If you try and ban everyone who is cheating, then you will be broke.  Oh well......more cheaters for the rest of us 🤣 😂
« Last Edit: 04 December 2024, 12:52:21 am by xw5 »

DBLM

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 133
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #44 on: 04 December 2024, 10:15:19 am »
I think the reality is that screening out married men is unworkable.
Giving them a question sheet to fill out just isn't going to work - not if you are offering in-calls. I guess it might work OK if you are doing outcalls.

I do screen out younger men.
HOW?
Firstly, all my marketing is towards older men and says I don't see young men (I do not explain why). I don't put negative stuff in my advertising; I emphasize the positive - why I'm perfect for the older man and not younger guys.
And I is almost always possibly to tell when someone under the age of 30 makes contact - it is the distinctive and strange way they communicate.

I would suggest if you try it, then do this - really "sell" your service as being for single men and not married ones.
Have your website profiles emphasising who you DO and Don't want to see.

Nevertheless, there are guys who just don't read stuff and will send back-and-forth messages (actually, as soon as you get this, then 9 times out of 10, they aren't going to book - the ones who do book and turn up have read your profile and think you are a perfect fit and just make a booking without asking nonsense questions that are already on your profile).