See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Not seeing married/cheating clients  (Read 4520 times)

IfUSeekAmy

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 11
Not seeing married/cheating clients
« on: 27 November 2024, 04:40:21 pm »
Hello everyone, I'm a long-time lurker on here so thought it was about time I created an account and actually posted something! I'm not escorting yet, I've been a sugar baby for a few years and have spent the last few months researching/preparing to branch out into escort work.

I'd really like to avoid seeing married/cheating clients; I know this will restrict my client base somewhat but I'm fine with that as I'll be doing this for extra money, not to pay bills. Do you think this is something I should state explicitly in my advertising? Or should I include relationship status as a question on my screening/booking form? My thinking is that including it in my advertising may send the wrong message across (that I'm looking for a relationship, or that I lack discretion). Additionally, if someone really wanted to see me I'm sure they'd just lie and say they were single. Whereas including it as a question on my booking form doesn't really give anything away as to what my preference would be (I've actually heard a lot of women say they prefer married men) so I'm more likely to get an honest answer, however I'm worried that it will be a really strange question and put a lot of people off (obviously I don't mind putting married men off, but don't want to scare single men or men in open relationships off as well!).

Also worth pointing out that I don't mind that some will inevitably slip through the net whatever I end up doing, and I can live with that just fine, I just want to discourage men using me to cheat as much as I can.

amy

  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,798
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #1 on: 27 November 2024, 06:12:47 pm »
Well you can ask, but it's so unlikely you'll get truthful answers I don't see the point?

You'll probably also (rightly) be told that it's absolutely none of your business, and it isn't; prostitution isn't dating, and part of what they're paying for is not to be judged. I suspect - as you've posted - that you'll put off a lot of single punters too, in the same way as plenty won't see people who bar other punters on racist grounds, even though they wouldn't be affected by the bar themselves.

Is there a reason for wanting to know? If it's because you're concerned about being exposed to STIs from somebody who is probably having unprotected sex, then the easy way around that is by not having unprotected sex yourself :)

matureho

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 72
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #2 on: 27 November 2024, 06:34:42 pm »
Good luck  ;D

IfUSeekAmy

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 11
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #3 on: 27 November 2024, 06:42:50 pm »
Well you can ask, but it's so unlikely you'll get truthful answers I don't see the point?

You'll probably also (rightly) be told that it's absolutely none of your business, and it isn't; prostitution isn't dating, and part of what they're paying for is not to be judged. I suspect - as you've posted - that you'll put off a lot of single punters too, in the same way as plenty won't see people who bar other punters on racist grounds, even though they wouldn't be affected by the bar themselves.

Is there a reason for wanting to know? If it's because you're concerned about being exposed to STIs from somebody who is probably having unprotected sex, then the easy way around that is by not having unprotected sex yourself :)

It's purely a personal preference, I wouldn't be comfortable having sex with someone with the knowledge that I was aiding him cheating on his partner. I could just not ask and live in blissful ignorance but I can hardly then kick out the first guy who mentions his wife/partner or wears his wedding ring to a booking...

BBW Jayda

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 117
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #4 on: 27 November 2024, 07:03:54 pm »
😂🤣 Without cheating husbands and boyfriends we'll all go broke and out of business
Those cheating men, drive the prostitution industry sadly, very few single guys don't come to see escorts as their first choice.
All I say, cheaters are welcome. 😁

DarcyLady

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 442
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #5 on: 27 November 2024, 07:10:16 pm »
😂🤣 Without cheating husbands and boyfriends we'll all go broke and out of business
Those cheating men, drive the prostitution industry sadly, very few single guys don't come to see escorts as their first choice.
All I say, cheaters are welcome. 😁

Sadly, this!  :-* :-\

amy

  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,798
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #6 on: 27 November 2024, 09:50:43 pm »
It's purely a personal preference, I wouldn't be comfortable having sex with someone with the knowledge that I was aiding him cheating on his partner. I could just not ask and live in blissful ignorance but I can hardly then kick out the first guy who mentions his wife/partner or wears his wedding ring to a booking...

But regardless of their relationship situation we don't know anybody's reasons for coming to see us or anything about their personal circumstances, and nor should we because it's irrelevant.

Are you really saying that you won't accept a perfectly pleasant punter who wants to see you just because he isn't single, no matter how crap his relationship is or how lonely and miserable he might be? Or one whose relationship may be sexless for other reasons (medical, distance, just plain not fancying each other) but is still as strong as ever in every other aspect and punting is his way of filling in the gap in the same way as getting a takeaway can if you're hungry? Some men don't want to have affairs, so they come to see us; OK, they could go without altogether but you're a long time dead :)

We can all see or not see whoever we want and this goes without saying, but do you think you have the tolerance and compassion you need to do the job? It's not all about having nice tits and a big price tag.

englishrebecca121

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 713
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #7 on: 27 November 2024, 10:09:15 pm »
Wow just wow
They will just lie and say they are single lol

Good luck your going to need it I’m afraid 😦

IfUSeekAmy

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 11
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #8 on: 27 November 2024, 10:35:56 pm »
But regardless of their relationship situation we don't know anybody's reasons for coming to see us or anything about their personal circumstances, and nor should we because it's irrelevant.

Are you really saying that you won't accept a perfectly pleasant punter who wants to see you just because he isn't single, no matter how crap his relationship is or how lonely and miserable he might be? Or one whose relationship may be sexless for other reasons (medical, distance, just plain not fancying each other) but is still as strong as ever in every other aspect and punting is his way of filling in the gap in the same way as getting a takeaway can if you're hungry? Some men don't want to have affairs, so they come to see us; OK, they could go without altogether but you're a long time dead :)

We can all see or not see whoever we want and this goes without saying, but do you think you have the tolerance and compassion you need to do the job? It's not all about having nice tits and a big price tag.

Interesting you mention compassion, it's the compassion and empathy I feel for their wives that forms the mental block for me engaging with married men! To put it short, I believe Relationships should be about communication and honesty, that doesn't mean I don't feel for people who find themselves in dead bedroom situations, but sneaking behind someone's back and lying is not the answer to the problem that I want to support. I'd love to have the mindset of it being none of my business (and that's a valid viewpoint, I don't judge those who hold that viewpoint) but I can't justify that for myself when I'm directly supporting someone in their act of cheating.
Anyway, my question wasn't about the ethics of seeing married men, it's not a can of worms I wanted to open truthfully😂 I'm just aware that it's not uncommon for some to choose to exclude certain clients (by age, race, ability) and so I hoped that in a similar way, I could exclude married clients. Was just looking at the most practical and tactful way of achieving this  ???

Vintage Miss

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 347
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #9 on: 27 November 2024, 10:37:06 pm »
I don't think there is anything morally wrong with you wanting to only see single clients but practically it would be unworkable, most will just lie. If they are willing to lie to their wives, partners, mothers on their children, friends, colleagues and whomever else they keep it a secret from etc they'll be willing to lie to a woman they are planning on having transactional sex with. It's easy for me to say, because I'm pretty cynical about marriage and such things... but all the same, if you really want to escort, you just have to make your peace with it.

BBW Jayda

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 117
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #10 on: 27 November 2024, 11:58:35 pm »
Wow just wow
They will just lie and say they are single lol

Good luck your going to need it I’m afraid 😦
Knowing how egotistical most men are, they just move on to the next girl while bullying you by writing a fake bad review to get other as*holes to frustrate you with fake bookings

IfUSeekAmy

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 11
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #11 on: 28 November 2024, 07:02:40 am »
Knowing how egotistical most men are, they just move on to the next girl while bullying you by writing a fake bad review to get other as*holes to frustrate you with fake bookings

See this is one of the reasons I'm thinking I'd be best including it in my screening/booking form? That way they don't know the specific reason that I rejected them.

Caligirl

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 71
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #12 on: 28 November 2024, 07:24:03 am »
Another part of this, is that the married men are sometimes the nicer person, more attractive and more attentive than the single man, that’s why he’s married! As they say, the best ones are married or gay, I should be shamed but I prefer the older married ones, better in bed usually and respectful of my time, less likely to try to date me! Not always the case of course, this strange industry. I do respect where you’re coming from, however a lot of men do this to prevent actual cheating, it’s just no strings attached.
« Last Edit: 28 November 2024, 09:27:57 am by Caligirl »

Mirror

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 7,043
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #13 on: 28 November 2024, 07:37:19 am »
Another part of this, is that the married men are sometimes the nicer person, more attractive and more attentive than the single man, that’s why he’s married! As they say, the best ones are taken or married, I should be shamed but I prefer the older married ones, better in bed usually and respectful of my time, less likely to try to date me! Not always the case of course, this strange industry. I do respect where you’re coming from, however a lot of men do this to prevent actual cheating, it’s just no strings attached.

Unfortunately although many of my clients do fall into this category, some of the most disrespectful and difficult have been older and married.

amy

  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,798
Re: Not seeing married/cheating clients
« Reply #14 on: 28 November 2024, 10:40:00 am »
Interesting you mention compassion, it's the compassion and empathy I feel for their wives that forms the mental block for me engaging with married men!

That's all very noble if you're talking about Tinder, but we are professional service providers. My agreement is with my customer, not members of his family who are nothing to do with me, because he's the one paying my rent, not them.

See this is one of the reasons I'm thinking I'd be best including it in my screening/booking form? That way they don't know the specific reason that I rejected them.

I'd be inclined to be honest about your views in your marketing, and then punters will know that you're judging them and avoid you so you'll rarely have to deal with having to ask them straight out. The ones who really want to shag you will lie anyway and you'll be none the wiser, then a year down the line when you're wondering why so many of the men booking you seem unpleasant and disrespectful, you'll have an idea of why.