So I had a client last night. He texted me on the way apologising, explaining he'd forgotten to bring cash, and asking if I knew where the nearest ATM was. I said "I accept bank transfer and paypal if that's any help". He said it did.

When he go there, he sorted out payment to my PayPal. We did the deed, then he left. Shortly after he left, I looked at my PayPal account and realised the payment had been put "on hold" - which meant I wouldn't get it for another 21 days. Worth noting that this is definitely a problem at my end, not his - he definitely tried to pay in good faith. But I wasn't going to wait 21 days to be paid so I texted the client back and asked him if I refund it on PayPal, will he send it by bank transfer instead; bit of a risk, but it had been a good booking and I got the impression he'd want to see me again, so I saw no reason why he'd want to skip out on paying me.

He agreed to this, but explained that "Because Coutts are crap, it will sometimes take up to 24 hours". When I gave him my bank details he asked for my real name (normally banking apps object to false names being used but allow you to override this; when I said this he said "I refer you to Coutts are crap") and then sent a screenshot of what looked like the "Confirm or cancel" screen of a faster payment being set up.

The following morning I still had no money, so I text him and indicated that his payment has not shown up yet and "did you say it can take up to 24 hours?". He responded with "I did yeah. I'll ring them when they open".

It's now about 21 hours since he supposedly put the payment through and I've still not been paid for the booking and I'm starting to get a little upset because I provided a damn good service and I've not been paid for it. However; you'd have thought if he intended not to pay, he'd just block me and not keep responding. Couple of questions:

• I'm aware that Coutts is a bank for rich people and as such things might be a little bit different to the way they work for us mortals. Have people experienced this "It may take up to 24 hours" thing. He said "Because they are Coutts and minor transactions and payments are usually done by the staff"
• If the worst happens and he really doesn't pay me, do I have any legal recourse to get my money? I'm not embarrassed about going to the police or even small claims if I think they will take me seriously. I think I have his full name and address from that aborted PayPal transaction.
• What would you folks do in this situation given that he's still responding politely to me?

It's not the end of the world, but I am kind of pissed off by this. With hindsight, I should have just waited the 21 days, and not used PayPal again.

Sorry this happened to you.

Coutts are not 'crap', and given the funds that a person has to have in order to bank with them, their customer service is exemplary. I know for a fact that you can get in touch with someone at Coutts 24/7.

I am certain that he did not forget to bring cash, he deliberately chose not to bring cash as he intended to scam you. I have no doubt that he probably cancelled the transaction on Paypal the minute you left. He is playing nice because he can, and I suspect he will disappear into the ether at some point very soon.

And remember, if he really wanted to, he could just send you another payment by Paypal.

A harsh lesson for you to learn, but if a client doesn't have cash to pay you, leave before you've even taken your coat off.

Be sure to make a note of only accepting cash on your advertising.

PS. Alex, I really hope I am wrong about this and the money does appear! Fingers crossed.

Some of your assumptions here are not correct. As I said, the paypal problem is definitely at my end, not his. The transaction was not revoked/refunded or whatever, I got an email about my account telling me that all transactions going into my account would be put on hold because I was a "new seller" and that I needed to basically be a good seller (paraphrasing) for 90 days before they would revoke that restriction.

So just to repeat, I believe he tried to pay in good faith.

Yes, I see that now, I read your message in haste, so I apologise for misconstruing what you had written. But I do know how Coutts works as I used to deal with them a lot during the course of my regular working life a few years ago.

As I said in my PS post, I hope I am wrong and it is just a glitch. But, personally, given how many do scam with Paypal and bank transfers, it is worth sticking to cash. Also, as English Green pointed out, Paypal do not process payments for sexual services and will close you account should they find out how you are earning your money. Be careful.

I am certain that he did not forget to bring cash, he deliberately chose not to bring cash as he intended to scam you. I have no doubt that he probably the transaction on Paypal the minute you left.

I was thinking the same thing, paying you was not really on his top ten things on his list. No you have no legal recourse to take that money back. Politely tell him that you would need that money in your account the next three days. Wait three days. If money is there lesson learnt not to use pay pal or bank transfer. If money is not there let him know that if money is not there in another three days you have his name and address and will go to the police and after put his details on on sex industry forums just to warn other escorts about him not paying. Watch how fast that money coms rollin' in.

Put it this way a lot of people do know you can't use paypal for sex services even non SW i know but lets see if he gets you the money which is a big if but he does not the chances are very high that even if you did not have restrictions on your account he ptobably would have done a charge back.

If he does not pay you i would imagine would be less hassle for you to contact all gay male escorts in your region or county to warn them as cannot imagine there being as many gay men escorts compared to women escorts so least you can try to stop others being conned. But give it 2 days to be fully sure.

So just after I posted this I sent him a text saying "hi (name) did you call them?"

him: Yup next time the batch process runs is somewhere between 18:00 and 20:00 (UK time)
him: Next time won't be an issue as you will be set up as a regular payer
me: hahaha thanks (name)
me: I'm sorry to hassle you
me: great x
him: Not a problem mate... if you were. restaurant then not being paid there an then is an issue

Yes, I'm being too nice to him. But if he is genuinely trying to pay and being crap, I don't want to scare him off before I have my money. I'll be less nice if the above doesn't happen.

But if he is conning me, the above seems rather overly elaborate.

And bizarre off topic bit removed .

Alex, if the problem is definitely on your side is there anything in your account that could link it to sex work - an email address, say? PayPal are very clear when it comes to prostitution and even if they haven't twigged now, when they do they will freeze your account and take the money back, whether you've taken it out or not.

Back to the first rule of sex work: Get The Money First