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Author Topic: Newbie Here  (Read 4011 times)

Sara

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Newbie Here
« on: 04 March 2009, 03:59:29 pm »
Hi ya

First of all, this is a great site, I have been reading it for the last few months.

I have never worked as an escort etc but have always had an interest it in.  I have recently been going onto a website called gumtree and have come across someonw who wants to meet me and pay a bulk sum to spend the weekend with me in a central London hotel.

I have spoken to him over the phone, seems quite polite and very interested in talking to me, find out about me.

Not sure what warning signs I should be looking for to see if this guy is a time waster, freak etc

Also in terms of payment because it is a large sum, would I request cash, bank deposit?

Any info, advise is really appreciated.

xxxxx :)
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brandy@saafe

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #1 on: 04 March 2009, 04:35:39 pm »
Hi and welcome Sara,
I've never had any dealings with gumtree personally, but I have read that guys do use it to find ladies to spend time with in exchange for cash, so he could well be genuine.

I would recommend firstly that he not take up too much of your time in email or phone conversations. That tells me he's timewaster and a fantasist. If he hasn't, that's fine.

If you do make arrangements to meet him, make it a short meeting first. Let it be somewhere neutral with lots of people traffic. I would make it lunch, not dinner, so he has no expectations of what might happen afterwards. And I would make it clear that it's just a get-to-know-you lunch. I don't know whether or not you feel you should be paid for lunch.

If all goes well and you click with him and would like to carry things on further, then proceed with the arrangment. Personally, if it's such a large amount of cash, I would take a large chunk of it upfront. I wouldn't recommend a bank transfer as it would require him to have your name, account no. and sort code. You could take a cheque with the top space blank for you to fill in your own name. And don't go through with the booking until it's cleared. Or you could set up a Paypal account on-line and have the funds transferred into that. Or you could get him to fill-up one of those PAYG credit cards with the agreed amount. You have a few choices that don't require him to have your full name if you don't want to give it to him.

Also from the beginning, set your boundaries and have the both you make it clear what you expect from each other so you both know where you stand. There's nothing worse than starting an arrangement with somebody having higher/different expectations than the other one.

I can't think of anything else at the moment, but I hope that helps.
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xw5

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #2 on: 04 March 2009, 04:38:47 pm »
Most people do not get / accept real bookings of this length without having seen them for a shorter time first. Even if he's not a timewaster, a weekend can be a very long time, especially if you don't have the determination to say 'you've overstepped the mark, no refund, bye'.

Who did the ad on Gumtree? You as a 'student needs cash'-style one or him?

Have a look around at what others are charging and if the amount involved is way less or more than say a couple of thousand, you need to either think about asking for more (if you're considerably cheaper) or suspecting he's a timewaster (if he could get anyone with that amount).

From the sound of it, you already know to check the room is occupied before bothering to leave your place. What sort of hotel is it? Five star or Formule-1?

How you take the money is up to you, given an irreversible method (i.e. no cheques etc!) but cash has the advantages of being anonymous (no need to give bank details). Do you have anyone you can go with, so they can eyeball him, plus take the money away with them? (They don't need to know it's money they're keeping safe, especially if it's in a bag.)
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Sara

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #3 on: 04 March 2009, 04:39:53 pm »
wow that def helps... I am so green  :-\

He has been emailing me alot so you may well be right in him being a bit of a time waster / fantasist.....

He lives out of town and is only in London one a month for work this is why he is trying to book me for the weekend while he is here.

Because I am so new to this I am very very suspicious
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strawberry

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #4 on: 04 March 2009, 04:40:01 pm »
Personally I wouldn't accept a lengthy booking with anyone I hadn't met before. Big commitment for all concerned. If you are going to go ahead he could pay a deposit via paypal, or some ladies I hear have a special bank account they are happy to give details of for such payments.

Once you meet take the money from him and have some sort of system in place to keep it secure. On one long booking I was able to pay the cash into a bank closeby. Something you could do on a Saturday.
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Sara

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #5 on: 04 March 2009, 04:43:31 pm »
Hi

He posted the add, it was like Rich guy wanting a nice girl for bedroom fun... something along those lines

He was offering 5* and yes I have read on here I do need to check that he has a room reservation...
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brandy@saafe

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #6 on: 04 March 2009, 04:53:03 pm »
Quote from: Sara on 04 March 2009, 04:39:53 pm

Because I am so new to this I am very very suspicious

Good. Don't lower your guard and listen to your instincts.
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strawberry

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #7 on: 04 March 2009, 04:57:40 pm »
This took me back - when I first started I was incredibly trusting, it's only as I get further down the line and had more experience that I started to apply rules. A pity really because it's meant I'm quite strict with rules now and I wish I didn't have to be.
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Sara

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #8 on: 04 March 2009, 05:02:08 pm »
hmm I know what you mean, do you think it would be more advisable maybe to try the agencies first to get some experience then go indie?
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Anika Mae

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #9 on: 04 March 2009, 10:56:01 pm »
I don't advise taking a cheque. They can turn out to be fraudulent even after they've been cleared by your bank, and it's entirely possible that you're dealing with someone who's looking for a naive girl who doesn't know that. Personally I'd rather go the bank transfer route than take a cheque from someone I didn't really trust.

You should have someone who you can call a couple of times during the weekend to confirm that you're ok. If you don't have a suitable friend, go to the buddy link-up section here and get one of us to do it.

Several banks have a deal with the Post Office so you can do some basic banking at any of their branches. If yours is one of them it would make it easier to deposit cash at the weekend.
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Sara

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #10 on: 04 March 2009, 11:00:41 pm »
Hi

Yes I do have one friend who knows about this and would be happy to help me.
I have since been in contact with this guy and he has said he is happy to pay me cash so I can make the deposit.
If I do give him my bank details for a deposit can he do anything with the account number eg: anything fraudulant?
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strawberry

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #11 on: 04 March 2009, 11:45:11 pm »
I wouldn't like to say. In order to commit identity theft he would need you address and a few other details, but I do know of one person who had their bank account raided after giving details over the phone.
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xw5

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #12 on: 05 March 2009, 10:00:13 am »
It's not identity theft that's the main issue - every cheque you've ever written has your bank account details on, for example - but your privacy: this is something that is seriously stigmatised by society (with a large dose of hypocrisy) and most people limit the number of people who know their 'real' name / phone number / address / etc. Similarly you'll have seen that lots of people don't put their face on ads.

Not all agencies are nice, and you would end up having more sex with more men for less money than I expect you will get for this. But whether you do that or have more work as an independent, unless you end up in a 'sugar daddy'-type arrangement, it's not all going to be like this.
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lexienight

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #13 on: 05 March 2009, 10:20:04 am »
Quote from: strawberry on 04 March 2009, 11:45:11 pm
I wouldn't like to say. In order to commit identity theft he would need you address and a few other details,

Thats what Jeremy Clarkson thought and so he published his account details to proove it.... that went a bit wrong for him didnt it?
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Anika Mae

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Re: Newbie Here
« Reply #14 on: 05 March 2009, 11:31:14 am »
All I know about the Jeremy Clarkson thing was that someone set up a Direct Debit using his details. Wouldn't that have been canceled and refunded as soon as it was clear he didn't authorise it?
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