Is this for real? 

As said, there's nothing really unacceptable in BDSM or anything else provided that all the participants are consenting adults, boundaries and safewords have been discussed and agreed beforehand and obviously everybody sticks to the plan. It's further than I would go in a sub booking (and I wouldn't even consider anything like this with somebody I had never met before - there certainly wouldn't have been scissors in the room), but everyone's idea of what is extreme is different and I've had days off while bruises settle before.

I think the concern here is that you went ahead with this booking without seeming to really understand what was going to happen and without any sort of plan in mind regarding what you would do if things went wrong? This is not the sort of area that you dabble in - if you're going to advertise to these type of clients, you really need to know what you're doing - it's an extremely specialised part of the industry and not just a way to charge more, or whatever. Did you have any onsite security, for example?

If you think this client crossed the line (and refusing to stop and ignoring safe words would suggest this, although if he himself was inexperienced it's possible that he didn't realise until it had gone too far until you had got very upset, at which point he did apparently stop), then don't see him again. The vital thing to remember is that it is you, not a client who decides how far a booking will go - you're not there to just blindly go along with whatever they want, you are offering the services you are comfortable with and that isn't enough for them, you tell them thanks but they'd be better going elsewhere where they'll be properly suited.

What everyone else said! I have done bdsm in the past with partners I've known for month/years and only once got as extreme as you've described. But I have had one client who tried to go this far without me advertising it as a thing I do and he got the heave ho and I never saw him again. I'm really quite shocked you let a stranger do this to you. PLEASE be careful.

I only did the bdsm thing cos my boyfriend won't let me do OWO or anal or anything where cum lands on me or anything else that he finds remotely gross so it's kind of hard to find clients otherwise competing with all the other girls on adultwork

OMG - you can't let cum land on you but he is happy to leave you in a strange man's house alone, where you get cut, bruised and beaten and possibly strangled.  Sounds like a nice boyfriend!

If you are only doing BDSM because it is the only niche you are ALLOWED to do, and you are NOT into it, please wake up and smell the coffee. 

I won't even allow tie and tease or more than mild spanking as I do not want to put myself in the way of lifes more weirdo's.  Sounds like you need a new boyfriend and way stricter security.  This job is dangerous which is why we get paid well per hour, please do not take risks like this again.

Ok-so I did my first BDSM job the other day

my boyfriend usually listens in via my phone and waits somewhere nearby but he didn't bother this time

How can your boyfriend have a 'usual' mode of providing you security when it was your first job?

I confess I am notoriously cynical about sensational posts from people who are new to the board but if I've misunderstood in some way then I apologise.

R

Hi Amy - thats fair comment and a point I hadn't considered before. My apologies!

In which case I think I'd say that a lot of BDSM players would see cum landing on you as being a fairly minor consideration compared to a lot of the other practices that you've mentioned. If this is important to you (and your partner) then it just reinforces the neeed to have extended negotiations and to identify ALL of the limits and requirements of the people playing. Personally I would put this in writing - not becuase of any question of legality or courts of law but simply so there can be absolutely no misunderstanding before the session starts.

Also, even within the BDSM community play involving blood is usually seen as 'edge play' as its high risk activity. If you are going to be involved then it might be wise to make sure your information about blood born infections and proper sterilisation techniques is current

R

I am fairly into the bdsm scene in my private life (although I choose not to play sub with work as I would just not feel comfortable) but I would still say this guy's tastes were relatively extreme. Blood-play is, as Amy said, pretty dangerous and is not something to be taken lightly. Like everyone has said, it is up to you what you feel happy doing, but please do not feel forced into doing anything you are not 100% happy with because of worries about the business. Money is just money at the end of the day, your safety is so much more important. It is of course important to discuss what your partner is and isn't comfortable with. I don't offer sub services partly as that is a major part of my partner and my relationship, and he would hate the thought of me doing it with someone else. However, do not be pushed into something because of someone else. He should understand how you feel.

Take care.

Ruby

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