SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: foxylady on 17 November 2017, 10:11:50 pm
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Ladies,
My extreme reluctance to see new people or get into some sort of work routine, means I've turned down people repeatedly and barely worked again. To apologise to one guy who I let down yesterday, and have repeatedly put off, I offered him ?10 off my ?100 30 min charge, so as he said he would book an hour he got ?20 off.
Arrived on time, just from work and he asked for a shower, all fine. We paid me and we had a bit of chit chat whilst he dried himself and all was fine, got down to business. As it was an hour booking he wanted to draw out proceedings, that was fine, he was clearly a 'once is enough' type guy.
The thing that weirded me out was, whenever I looked at him during foreplay/sex, he looked at me with 'dead eyes', they just didn't connect at all. I've only ever seen that with people that have really lost it, like they aren't 'them' anymore.
Combined with the above, he slapped my fanny a few times, (I don't mind that) but then gently ran one hand around my throat, he might have covered my mouth with his hand after that (but I can't remember absolutely).I am up for a bit of kink, but I no longer advertise that or list anything except vanilla, I mean really vanilla ;D
The kinky stuff doesn't bother me by itself, it was the eye thing that unnerved me, everytime I looked at his eyes during sex, I thought I may have a problem. Except on ejaculation obviously! ;D Am I being paranoid, he may have just had a weird concentration thing going on when he's 'having it off', but I didn't like the unease it gave me.
He was fine at the end of it, seemed to have enjoyed himself and the sex wasn't bad. He said he would definitely see me again. (I take that with a pinch of salt til I do.)
Ok, so please ladies, do your stuff..........I am guessing many of you will say 'go with your gut', honestly I barely make any money and he was very persistent in seeing me. (But then psychopaths probably are)
I would love to know whether any of you have experienced a similar look and are still here!
Thank you xxx
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hum that really is a hard one. I think personally it all comes down to how it makes you feel and if your comfortable and spending time with someone like that. We are all different and work differently with different kinds of people. Sounded like overall he meant no harm but if you feel something doesnt seem right, then its ok. Ive had a couple like that. For meeting people like that, a one off is fine but I choose not to see them again.
I saw one guy and he had a serious problem with his eyes!! cant describe it but got on my nerves as couldnt decide if he was on something, partially blind (not a problem of course if this was the case) or he was just plain weird. I chose not to see him again. So comes down to how you feel :)
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You?ve answered your own question, he gave you the willies, don?t see him.
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Please take this in the nicest way possible ( it's really meant that way) but you sound really terrified, if your refusing all those bookings and had been putting him off for ages etc .
Is there anyway your feelings might of rubbed of on him , everyone picks up vibes from everyone else all the time .
I can usually tell if someone's nervous or in a bad mood in everyday life through non- verbal communication ie body language .
Perhaps he picked up on your nervousness and it escalated his .
It's always a risky job , we can only try and minimilise it as much as possible but we still have to take a chance .
Sometimes it's best to throw yourself in so you don't have too much time to overthink but still be aware and if you don't like someone's tone of voice or their manner don't see them , no question .
But if it's becoming everyone who calls maybe you need a break, recharge and rethink ,
Hugs from an over thinker too .
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I know the inner voice says 'don't', but it may be because I have (in my personal life, a very long time ago) been on the 'receiving end' of the actions of a guy whose eyes went like that.
It would be turning down very good money though, and he may well be ok, but i guess it's not worth it.
Not sure what I would say to him though if he asks to see me again......"your eyes go scary when you are fucking"...lols x
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If you?re turning down bookings, is it worth having a look at your profile to see if there?s anything you could change there?
I had a horrible experience in a D/s booking and reverted purely to GFE and over the last year or two I?ve built up my services to include kink which I?m now fully comfortable and confident with. Do what you are comfortable with and what you know will bring you in money. I love a fair amount of kink privately but in my work life, I need to feel really on top of my game to offer it. Strip your services back until you gain some confidence.
I stand by my original comment though, don?t see him. X
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GuiltyPleasure, thank you. I'm never nervous and confident at what I do (the reluctance to see people is i'm really worried about the neighbours and new tenancy, plus I need to give myself a good kick up the ass and get on with it!)
It was the eye thing that unnerved me, but he may well have fed off that a bit (the eye thing is scaring her, I will do it more, cue villainous laughter) x
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Never mind about us, do YOU want to see him again?
:)
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GuiltyPleasure, thank you. I'm never nervous and confident at what I do (the reluctance to see people is i'm really worried about the neighbours and new tenancy, plus I need to give myself a good kick up the ass and get on with it!)
It was the eye thing that unnerved me, but he may well have fed off that a bit (the eye thing is scaring her, I will do it more, cue villainous laughter) x
Ah now I get it (M&M add) !
Bloody hell you should read my posts from when I had my work flat and a mega nosey neighbour right from the get go ....OMG I was in a state , completely different ball game , neighbour downstairs , in all day , even told me could here me when I had an upset tummy and used the loo , she was up all night listening ( I don't work nights) all day every day she was in , she put a note under the door saying she could hear everything in capitals blah blah.
She told me she was trying to sell , I bought really expensive rugs etc , then I lost the plot put music on full blast ( I'd been creeping about like a mouse) shouted
"Wanna hear some noise do you ? Well this is going on all day everyday from 9-11pm and I'm going out , I've checked with council and there's fuck all you can do , I've put a complaint in about you and opened a dispute so good luck with your sale because nobody's going to touch your property now your in dispute"lord even shouted for her to keep an eye on her cat because it shits in everyons gardens !!
I knocked with the note and she was my age and quite Bolshy to start with but once I've lost it that's it !
Told her she could have kids screaming all night , people rowing etc and that I'm quiet and keep myself to myself , she packed it in then, mind you I did add I know some people who want this flat then you'll be sorry ! ( not recommending behaving like a nutter like me)
She was fine after that but all I mean is I was totally totally paranoid and a nervous wreck it really affected me and I got the jitters bad when anyone came in the building plus I made them uncomfortable too I'm sure :)
Guys even commented on my 'nervyness'
Not me at all , got some good advice on here and I felt fine after a few months , try not to worry , maybe try and do a few days away and come back fresh and keep low key a bit until you feel better x
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Oh I did explain on the phone I had to be careful of the noise to guys calling , just so they knew in advance .
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GuiltyPleasure, thank you. I'm never nervous and confident at what I do (the reluctance to see people is i'm really worried about the neighbours and new tenancy, plus I need to give myself a good kick up the ass and get on with it!)
It was the eye thing that unnerved me, but he may well have fed off that a bit (the eye thing is scaring her, I will do it more, cue villainous laughter) x
Ha ha I call em shark eyes , I had one who never said a word and didn't kiss either , a young guy I asked if he wanted something else and he said no , he'd paid and left after the action but then I looked and I'd left a syringe out ( ha that I use for a little lube) calpol one think I freaked him out .
He looked like a young Peter Sutcliffe when the beards first came back in fashion !!! Lmfao
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You?ve answered your own question, he gave you the willies, don?t see him.
+1
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Ooo, I had someone like this during the summer! Exactly what you describe with the eyes. He just kept staring blankly at me! He showed no emotion, no facial expressions. Just kept staring. Thing is he didn't do anything else like you've had with slapping and the throat thing.
Just kept staring and moving his head from side to side! :o
Anyway, in my case I have seen my guy several times since. He doesn't stare quite as much now but his saving grace is he is submissive and affectionate. Wouldn't see him again if he was dominant!
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Ooo, I had someone like this during the summer! Exactly what you describe with the eyes. He just kept staring blankly at me! He showed no emotion, no facial expressions. Just kept staring. Thing is he didn't do anything else like you've had with slapping and the throat thing.
Just kept staring and moving his head from side to side! :o
Anyway, in my case I have seen my guy several times since. He doesn't stare quite as much now but his saving grace is he is submissive and affectionate. Wouldn't see him again if he was dominant!
Lol yep freaky isn't it !
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OP are you in South Yorkshire? I've seen a guy like this, he even held my head still and directed me to look into his eyes. He also tried to put his hand on my throat but I told him to stop. I chatted with him after the booking and he was perfectly okay, explained he had a fetish for breath play and if he came back would I be willing to do that... I was like LOL NO BRO.
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OP are you in South Yorkshire? I've seen a guy like this, he even held my head still and directed me to look into his eyes. He also tried to put his hand on my throat but I told him to stop. I chatted with him after the booking and he was perfectly okay, explained he had a fetish for breath play and if he came back would I be willing to do that... I was like LOL NO BRO.
Uuuug ! Wtf is breath play lol ( ok I've got an imagination ) can't stand even listening to someone's breathing unless it's someone I love and unless they're half pints they can still get on my nerves ;D
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Breath play is consensual strangulation. It makes orgasms feel a lot more intense but obviously it's a dangerous practice - just think of the number of people who've died as a result of auto-erotic asphyxiation.
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Breath play is consensual strangulation. It makes orgasms feel a lot more intense but obviously it's a dangerous practice - just think of the number of people who've died as a result of auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Yes and normally only experienced pro-subs would offer it, but not on a first booking and it would be at a premium. No guy should be attempting to do this without prior discussion.
That?s not what the OP describes , however the placing of a hand gently on the neck I hate. I had a guy try to do this repeatedly to me recently in a GFE booking and it made me panicky (he seemed to keep forgetting despite my saying, don?t do that).
The hand over the mouth. Big no no, any guy who did that to me would be ejected forthwith. I wouldn?t even allow that in pro-sub bookings.
There?s no way I?d see a guy that this again as this is a form of boundary pushing if he is doing what is not offered on your profile.
I?m very strict on this, if they want PSE, tough I don?t do that. If they want pro-sub, they pay premium for it and adhere to all boundaries there too.
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Breath play is consensual strangulation. It makes orgasms feel a lot more intense but obviously it's a dangerous practice - just think of the number of people who've died as a result of auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Oh I know about that ( used to work with young people who did it ) just we didn't call it that. [removed - please don't gossip about named individuals here]
It stops the blood flow and maintains an erection , they do it until their about to pass out .
I don't let anyone ever touch my throat ( good reason) and can only just wear a loose scarf, shame because I love chocker necklaces and I have some good quick release ones !
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Some scary stories in this thread but one aspect rings true with me. The staring eyes, or in my case a man who I saw just one time and while he was clean and polite, once the money was mine and we were on the bed he did not look at me once, not once! He was sort of staring into space. I kept looking at his face more so he could not accuse me of no eye contact (I know what a joke) but also so I could try to get why he didn't want to look at me. I gave up and was glad when he was gone.
A strange one indeed. As for hands around throat or covering my mouth I would hate that as I am in no way submissive and men know this, if one attempted to grip me by the neck I hope I would stay calm and get out of the awkward situation. Sometimes I admire in a weird way how true sub sps do what they do.
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I'm laughing but shouldn't , at least you didn't get shark eyes ! No emotion like the OP had, it's mega freaky and worse if your already on edge due to your environment .
Shark eyes also makes you feel Like your gonna get eaten !
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wow, Gypsy, that sounds about right and no, VC no not in Yorkshire.
Simply Sinful, you have got it in one, thank you, a definite boundary pusher. Apart from what he described he kept pushing a finger up my ass, even though I told him not to, and I don't offer anal play.
I guess at best yes, he's a boundary pusher and for that I will decline him if he comes back.
If anyone wants him, they are welcome ;D
Thanks so much ladies, you're so helpful as always. x
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Some scary stories in this thread but one aspect rings true with me. The staring eyes, or in my case a man who I saw just one time and while he was clean and polite, once the money was mine and we were on the bed he did not look at me once, not once! He was sort of staring into space. I kept looking at his face more so he could not accuse me of no eye contact (I know what a joke) but also so I could try to get why he didn't want to look at me. I gave up and was glad when he was gone.
A strange one indeed. As for hands around throat or covering my mouth I would hate that as I am in no way submissive and men know this, if one attempted to grip me by the neck I hope I would stay calm and get out of the awkward situation. Sometimes I admire in a weird way how true sub sps do what they do.
Yes I hate when no eye contact or vacant eyes.
As to providing Sub Services, many (including myself) expressly don?t offer holding round the neck/covering the mouth, so it would still be boundary pushing and unacceptable in that type of booking.
What really matters is having clear rules and enforcing them. If they don?t want to know then they don?t get to stay.
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wow, Gypsy, that sounds about right and no, VC no not in Yorkshire.
Simply Sinful, you have got it in one, thank you, a definite boundary pusher. Apart from what he described he kept pushing a finger up my ass, even though I told him not to, and I don't offer anal play.
I guess at best yes, he's a boundary pusher and for that I will decline him if he comes back.
If anyone wants him, they are welcome ;D
Thanks so much ladies, you're so helpful as always. x
Yes, and please don?t take this as a dig, but he did so much that you expressly didn?t offer, that I probably would have told him to leave.
I?d consider doing a warning about him on here.
If your gut tells you not to see someone, or not to see someone again, it?s really important to listen to it.
Hopefully your next client will be lovely, that always helps.
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He was probably trying to assess what he could get away and what they are in his booking(s). Staring at someone, menacingly, it's a telltale warning, that is, in any species. By ignoring, you are kidding yourself.
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It's sometimes a sign someone's petrified too SM have you read the whole thread ?
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Just my own interpretation. I have had my own experience. ;)
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I wouldnt describe his staring as threatening it just creeped me out x
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I wouldnt describe his staring as threatening it just creeped me out x
Same with my guy who has now turned into something of a regular ;D I'm not sure whether these men A - Realise what they're doing and B - Know how creepy it is!
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If he was boundary pushing in other ways i.e. anal play then I would be blocking him for that alone, especially if you told him multiple times to stop.
Something that I do now if I've already said "Don't do that" to whatever activity they're trying:
Completely stop all movement.
Make eye contact.
Say "I told you already that I don't accept [whatever]. Why have you just done it again?"
Keep completely silent while they stutter an apology and/or half hearted explanation ("I'm just sooo horny for you!")
If they apologise and seem repentant then I will continue the booking but say "Any repetition and I will end the booking without refund, is that clear?"
If they come across arrogant or threatening, or it's less than 5 minutes into the booking, I will say "Here is a refund, please leave. We are not suited."
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Foxylady you started off your post talking about reluctance to see new people .
Do you have regulars you see or have you a very bad experience that put you off ?
The guy with the dead eyes didn't sound appealing but I guess you wanted to make some money and took the booking anyway .
Do take time to decide if your comfortable to escort because there is nothing worse than doing something under pressure for money if you really don't want to at all
Take care keep safe
Sugar x
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Hi Sugar,
Sorry if it comes across the wrong way, but I love the job (when I get down to it), love the social aspect and meeting new people, it's interesting, and what can I say, I have a high sex drive.
I have only done it part time and mostly outcall only, so am new to having an incall place, and oap neighbours with their front door directly opposite on a narrow stairwell, just makes me nervous (mainly about upsetting them because they are lovely).
So, as I have started and stopped over the last couple of years, the flat was to optimise things as outcall only is limiting, neighbours, not ideal but workable as I'm very low numbers.
As I have a few regulars, (not enough to live on though!) it puts me a bit out of comfort zone with new people (simply because of the tenancy, if I was doing an outcall I would be fine) and although I emphasise "please be very discreet", you just don't know...
I am worrying too much probably, but after this week (i'm on hols/time of month) I am going to get my head down (pun intended!) and work it baby! ;D
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Good to hear it I'm sure you'll feel better when you get into it and less time to spend worrying , been there too x
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Thanks Guiltypleasure, I will get there. Just ordered some new lingerie to get some photos done and i'm sure all will be good. Anyway, it seems like I haven't had sex for ages, that's always an incentive ;D
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Thanks Guiltypleasure, I will get there. Just ordered some new lingerie to get some photos done and i'm sure all will be good. Anyway, it seems like I haven't had sex for ages, that's always an incentive ;D
Buying sexy new lingerie is always a good thing, I know makes me feel better :)
Hope you feel better soon and wish you luck.
Stay safe x
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The title of this thread alone told me that I should be answering 'No you shouldn't see this client again', your doubting your own gut feeling and this is your inner self shouting 'No don't go'! My motto about clients, jobs, etc, is, 'if in doubt then go without'! Without the fee I mean, lol, no amount of cash is worth risking your safety xx