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Author Topic: New and taking precautions  (Read 5626 times)

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #45 on: 01 January 2017, 06:03:38 pm »
Yes I always count the money immediately. I've never had anyone get offended. Although I am very quick at counting so maybe they don't get a chance :D

And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

MistressMorgana

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #46 on: 01 January 2017, 06:50:49 pm »
I count the money upfront, always and have no problems opening envelopes to check. There are enough stories on here from girls who wished they had and I'm sure a lady threw a regular out of the shower for putting vouchers in the envelope from Asda or some place.

I think the OP needs to conduct further research and define her boundaries ASAP.

To the OP, have you thought of looking for a buddy near you to help with security etc? I used one when I first started.

Tickle

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #47 on: 01 January 2017, 07:49:37 pm »
I surprised myself asking to get business done first. It's only one step to handling money in front of the client. I will do this next time. I will review my profile again and visit the clinic as soon as I can.

I did browse the forum on buddys. Institutional discrimination can be isolating and I don't want to be Stockholm syndrome about this. I have asked a twitter friend who when I arranged a date offered a security callback. She used to be an escort locally. I just asked her if she knew anyone.

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #48 on: 01 January 2017, 11:19:27 pm »
The way I address this is to get them in the door, and then say "It was half hour/one hour/two hours you wanted, right? That's X amount" and then just hold my hand out for the cash. Count the cash in front of them - I've been shorted before, but equally I've been given extra and I've always said "My hourly rate is 120, did you mean to give me 140?" I know some girls will say just take it but I'd rather they give me a tip after. If it's short just say "This is only 60 darling, my half hour rate is 70". If they say they haven't got any more then I tell them I'll give them my 15 minute rate for 50 but it doesn't include full sex. Miraculously they manage to find the extra money!

If they stand looking at you like a stunned lamb, just say "Let's get the business out the way first, so we can get to the fun stuff! It's ?120" and until the money is in your hand, you do nothing.

Do get yourself to the clinic and then keep going once a month or so. You can usually get free condoms there if you need them. Most HCPs I have dealt with there have been very professional and supportive.
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

ChloeH

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #49 on: 02 January 2017, 09:29:30 am »
Always always count money. I had the most dodgy fake ?20 the other day too, almost like a photocopy. I could tell just thumbing through it to count. Amazing what guys will try.

Tickle

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #50 on: 02 January 2017, 03:13:38 pm »
I'm getting my confidence and self-worth back after a long time. Your experience really helps with drawing the line and priorities. I can do this too.

I asked my friend on twitter and she has been very helpful. She suggested two other familiar people to me she knows who have skills and experience with the sex work industry. For me I believe managing practical issues and people skills are a priority. I do feel unsure and distressed but feel good about myself.
« Last Edit: 02 January 2017, 03:58:47 pm by Tickle »

ChloeH

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #51 on: 02 January 2017, 04:44:01 pm »
Whilst we're asking questions, what does everyone do regarding securty for home visits ?  Only done hotel visits or incalls up to now.

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #52 on: 02 January 2017, 05:44:29 pm »
Whilst we're asking questions, what does everyone do regarding securty for home visits ?  Only done hotel visits or incalls up to now.

I've stopped doing home outcalls for new clients - they have to come and see me first, or book a hotel.

Previously however I would ask them for a landline number which I could cross-check on directory enquiries, a photo of a utility bill showing the address, a photo of them outside the front door showing the number, or a bank deposit of half my fee upfront.
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

ParisB

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #53 on: 02 January 2017, 06:35:36 pm »
It was a big rush getting ready for this Saturday. It really helped me appreciate your help and experience. I'm still unsure of myself and absorbing advice as I go along and unsure if I am good enough for my clients.  I'm wincing a little.

I was lucky to have a very good older client New Years evening. He was very polite and proper. I did break some of my own rules and he did boundary push with oral sex. I didn't appreciate his mouth surprising my naughty bits! I had to be repeatedly firm with taking him orally. I want to be sure of my ground and how best to manage this and am planning on visiting the local clinic as soon as possible and will discuss this with them.

Because it was New Years and I broke my own alcohol rules I had a glass or three. Because of nerves I didn't feel I had properly satisfied him and let the evening run on until a midnight kiss. I didn't want to give him a refund (which he never asked for) but I offered him a free session. He has special health requirements which I hadn't been able to meet and felt obligated especially as he had been so nice and brought me flowers too!

Christmas has only just finnished he probably thought it was Christmas all over again 😄
You really need to adjust your boundaries otherwise you won't have any time to make any money

Tickle

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #54 on: 11 January 2017, 02:16:40 pm »
Sorry for bumping my topic. The past week or so has been a whirl. Every client I saw was luckily very nice. I experienced some boundary pushing which made me unhappy and service suffered. I experienced timewasters who rang bells in my head. Potential clients who didn't read my profile properly or who I directed back to my profile. Some I did not want to meet and bumped and dread receiving calls off again because until I am happy I will keep bumping them. Callbacks which never happened. Requests for free pics which I declined. On the plus side I made money I needed and cleared my bills. I don't know what mess I would have been in without my paying clients! This forums experiences have been very educational. I've nodded along with some experiences and others were real confirmations. If I never have another paying client ever again I don't regret my experience as a sex worker. I have no idea about the future but I have been delighted with the positives.

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #55 on: 11 January 2017, 02:49:50 pm »
Sounds like you've done okay :)
I experienced some boundary pushing which made me unhappy and service suffered.

We all get these. It's good to practise boundary-affirming phrases. "I'm not comfortable with that" or "I don't do/accept XYZ". If the continue and try again then "If you persist with that I'm going to end the booking [and I won't accept any future booking with you]. You know that I don't allow XYZ." Don't think of that as service suffering; they are the arsehole who has deliberately done something they know they shouldn't, so any loss of vibe is their responsibility!

Some I did not want to meet and bumped and dread receiving calls off again

Save these in your phone as "Don't see" and add a Notes section to their contact where you can add more detail to remind yourself why you don't want to see them (asking for services not offered, etc.)
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

Tickle

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #56 on: 11 January 2017, 06:31:31 pm »
I did tell my client he was pushing boundaries. I do have explanations and reasons. I could very definitely adjust how I put things to clients. My conversational and emotional skills would benefit generally so I'm happy to keep learning because this has health and welfare benefits for me.

I use a feature phone for my sex work until I can afford a better phone. Where I can't use my phone I manage thing like notes and other things manually and with pencil and paper.

I've backed off searching for a serious relationship. I've attempted turning interest on non sex work sites into clients. A lot even men who very obviously want an oggle or sex baulk about the idea of paying. I'm really unsure about the rare man who wants a relationship once they know I am an escort especially when they keep asking for pics or become too excited. I likely wouldn't meet them because of this if I hadn't told them about sex work. I'm exploring a couple to discover what they really want. I'm sure I will be disappointed but giving myself time to explore and experience positive life opportunities so not glum about things.

Kay

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #57 on: 11 January 2017, 07:33:18 pm »
I did tell my client he was pushing boundaries. I do have explanations and reasons. I could very definitely adjust how I put things to clients. My conversational and emotional skills would benefit generally so I'm happy to keep learning because this has health and welfare benefits for me.

I use a feature phone for my sex work until I can afford a better phone. Where I can't use my phone I manage thing like notes and other things manually and with pencil and paper.

I've backed off searching for a serious relationship. I've attempted turning interest on non sex work sites into clients. A lot even men who very obviously want an oggle or sex baulk about the idea of paying. I'm really unsure about the rare man who wants a relationship once they know I am an escort especially when they keep asking for pics or become too excited. I likely wouldn't meet them because of this if I hadn't told them about sex work. I'm exploring a couple to discover what they really want. I'm sure I will be disappointed but giving myself time to explore and experience positive life opportunities so not glum about things.

Personally, I think mixing private relationships and SW is dodgy, especially trying to convert dates into clients. A few of us have done it the other way round, but 'luring' men on civvy dating sites and then asking for cash is not going to go down well.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

Luciexx

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #58 on: 11 January 2017, 07:40:36 pm »
I'm exploring a couple to discover what they really want. I'm sure I will be disappointed but giving myself time to explore and experience positive life opportunities so not glum about things.

Good luck, hope it goes well.  :)

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: New and taking precautions
« Reply #59 on: 11 January 2017, 09:38:57 pm »
Exploring and gaining experience is great but just keep a close watch on your feelings, and be alert for red flags (from both punters and potential partners.)

You can pick up a PAYG smart phone for about ?30. Try O2 with the Alcatel Pixi.
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress