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Author Topic: Face Pix - is this wrong  (Read 8457 times)

Richard

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #15 on: 08 July 2008, 10:57:59 pm »
now the first reply i got was if you are expecting brad pitt to turn up, it ent gonna happen

No, I don't think it was - I think it's saying that good looks don't necessarily lead to a good attitude or a good time, and vice versa. You need to look beyond the face, beyond the body, and at the person and their attitude.

The thing that particularly reminds me of this each time I see it is the face of a particular serial killer who operated on the London gay scene a some years ago. If he'd cruised me (i.e. attempted to pick me up) when I was looking for casual sex with another man, I'd have said yes, and I know other men who've said the same thing. He looked great, but going with him was often fatal.

Quote
as to etiquette does a guy just turn up and pressume the booking will go ahead or do they come here with a no pressure attitude like in the swinging world which i am more used to

Yes, money alters people's expectations.

Single men in the swinging scene tend to be grateful that you're interested. As a single woman, you get to pick and choose. If they're paying a small pile of money to be with you, they don't expect to be judged quite so much on things like looks. They're basically paying so you will have sex with them (and go away again afterwards).

That doesn't mean if they've got a crap attitude - if they don't wash, or refuse to respect boundaries, or whatever - that you shouldn't kick them out.

I specialise in helping people explore new things. In many cases, that's because they've been unable, for one reason or another, to have a partner who'd do 'that' with them. Sometimes, I can see why: they do not fit society's view of what an attractive person looks like. But almost without exception, they've been lovely people, and we've both had a good time.

Dee

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #16 on: 13 July 2008, 06:55:51 pm »
Thanks nell for a very interesting and nice response.

You are right about personalities, they do have to be nice people tooo, if someone was nasty or not a nice person i wud not go thru with it even if he was a greek god lol

i think a prob i have which u mentioned was that u say this industry is for confident outstpokem people, i'm not, i'm quite a timid little mouse, so if i was presented with something that i had be out spoken about i dont know how i'd handle it.

the pix are working cos im not looking for supermodels but people who i think i can click with,if i dont get a pic then im not worried i dont pester them.

We as a cpl are still swinging too as for the both of us its enjoyable.

I will ask you girls and guys for advice because i have listened to you and taken some advice on board too, you have def made me feel better in your replies,  thanks to you all

luv dee xxxx

Sasha

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #17 on: 13 July 2008, 08:27:14 pm »
hi Dee

Ive had two ends of the spectrum, I had this really fit client, but he had a cheesy cock (lol  :D) even after the obligatory shower, so i suggested we shower together and he got all narky, so i refused owo and he got even worse. he wasnt agressive or anything, just sulky, and the appointment ended early. then i have this regular who, when i first met, the first thing i thought of was what a flaming minger, but hes one of ym favourite clients now and i love my bookings with him! so you never really know , and the short time ive spent doing this job has taught me not to judge a book by its cover.

just wanted to mention that, and also, have you turned anyone down yet judging by their photo? sounds like you're doing ok though, best of luck!

sasha
xxx

brandy@saafe

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #18 on: 14 July 2008, 07:22:40 am »


just wanted to mention that, and also, have you turned anyone down yet judging by their photo? sounds like you're doing ok though, best of luck!

sasha
xxx

Funnily enough, I was going to ask the same thing.

Nell2

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #19 on: 15 July 2008, 12:03:33 am »
Dee

I am glad that you have indeed found help and support on this forum as that is what our intention has always been .

In terms of being confident, yes I think being an escort does require a certain amount of confidence as really we are the ones who have to be in control ultimately. 

I am, a little suprised that you say you are "timid as a mouse"!, as I would have thought that in the swinging environment "timid" is not an option, but as you mention being part of a couple, then perhaps your partner is the driving force in such situations.

I wish you well with escorting and rest assured that you will always find support here.
Best wishes
Nell xx

Anika Mae

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #20 on: 16 July 2008, 12:08:07 am »
i think a prob i have which u mentioned was that u say this industry is for confident outstpokem people, i'm not, i'm quite a timid little mouse, so if i was presented with something that i had be out spoken about i dont know how i'd handle it.

It sounds like you already know it, but this is a problem. Most clients are nice and will cooperate with you, but you have to assume that you're going to meet a few that will try to push you, and they can seem perfectly nice initially. Do you think you can handle someone who would pressure, whine or threaten you into providing a service you don't offer? I've never been in a situation where I've had to call for backup, but I've been in some where a client has gone on and on and on about something he wants that isn't on offer. I just have to keep saying no. No, no, no, no, still no, no.

They're most likely to get like this when they're taking coke, so saying on your website that you won't tolerate drugs will help. They usually don't mention it in advance though, and a lot of guys just skim the website without taking in the details, so you might still get some and that puts you back in a situation where you have to confront someone. Also, some guys don't need drugs to be a pain in the arse.

As an escort, you spend time alone with strangers. Some of those strangers will try to get you to do things you don't want to, so you need to work out how to stand up for yourself.

brandy@saafe

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #21 on: 16 July 2008, 06:51:44 am »
Yeah, a good line that customers use when trying to pressure ladies into doing something that's not part of their services is "well, most of the escorts I've seen do it". A very well-used line, used especially if they realise you're new and still naive to the business.

Nell2

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #22 on: 16 July 2008, 07:23:56 pm »
Just to add as well, that you have confessed to us that you are in your own words "timid". 

Does this come across when you meet people or talk on the phone, as some will try to take advantage of this. 

Yes, I have had guys who try to be quite persuasive and can be nice initally but once in the swing of things can get a bit persuasive but in a calm way so I just have to stick to my guns like NO BAREBACK ......... how many times did I tell you!!!!

Anyway not wanting to put you off Dee as we are here to help you so come back for support when you need it.  Just bear in mind what the others have said and don't do anything you don't want to or feel co-erced into doing. 

I had one guy who was drunk before I arrived and it did not seem apparent until we downed a bottle of wine and then I had trouble getting away at the end of the booking - he was not nasty just found it hard to let me go (I laugh at it now).  Thank Goodness I (as always) had the money upfront and tucked away in my bag. 

I had to swiftly get dressed when he went to the loo as that was the easiest way to get away and in that situation the only way I was able to retreat hastily!!!  He did apologise the next day but at the time it was a situation that had I not handled it diplomatically then I would have been there all night.

Fortunately that is the only time it has happened......

strawberry

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #23 on: 16 July 2008, 11:41:15 pm »
I lack confidence but often put on a front in lots of areas of my life. There are guys however who can push the wrong buttons, lead me into vulnerable/submissive positions, make bad decisions etc. I have learned a lot from other escorts as well as one or two very close and trusted friends whom I confide in. 

The most important thing to remember is to remain professional at all times - that gives a huge amount of confidence and safety. It also helps to draw definite boundaries.

Nell2

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #24 on: 17 July 2008, 11:05:44 am »
Hi again

Just to add to Strawberry's comments - yes put on a front because guys will pick up on vulnerability and timidness...........

Also, so many guys are just trying it on so you got to stick to your guns and be tough in a calm way.

Strawberry, good for you that you can learn to overcome this and carry on with things.  I admire you for being able to do that.

Wishing all a great day.

Am taking it easy this week, so it's lovely to be able to read here and post more often and hopefully offer good support when I can!

love to all
Nell2

P.S gonna post about my name change here.xxx

Dee

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #25 on: 17 July 2008, 11:10:40 pm »
wow girls and guys you are really great

just seen how much more response i have had, thanks to all and i am replying to you all in this, as i dont know how to do that box thingy

i am getting a little bit more assertive now, if a client starts to do more than he should then i am beginning to say its extra, that puts a stop to it ,   even tho its on my list of likes its not what is gona happen on a meet.  Wen do u guys go through wot will happen at the meet or dont u, cos sometimes gets a bit email tennisy stuff.  my profile about me is quite detailed, do u think i shud take it as read that they have read it all or shud i be saying what i intend to happen. Hope i dont sound tooo green on this bit .

I look forward to hearing your comments on this, luv dee xxxx

Nell2

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Re: Face Pix - is this wrong
« Reply #26 on: 19 July 2008, 09:10:07 pm »
Hi Dee

Just a few of my take on things about what will or wont happen on a meet.

Sometimes, I do have guys who are specific about what they want and express themselves beforehand about what they would like.

Sometimes, though it is just go with the flow!!!!

What I usually do is ask upfront before meetings = I say any special requests, anything requests on clothing etc ?  That sort of thing, then at least I know what the guys wants.

Often though, some guys dont really have a specific way of wanting it to go and it is then just go with the flow. 

You mention many emails going back and forth  - do these come into fruition and are definitely meetings taking place?  Again, my experience is that some guys just get off on taking a lot etc etc etc and going into detail but it does not materialise into anything, so be careful you not wasting too much time....

However, saying that I also have had a few clients who really do want the exchange beforehand so that they can get a feel of what I am like and they then feel reassured that I am the right person for the job~!!!!! 

It is always very difficult I think as every client is different so there is no text book way of doing anything here.

I tend to go by my gut instincts and also in terms of meetings, I can usually get a feeling when a guy wants to go straight into things or the ones who maybe want a chit chat beforehand.  A clue sometimes is if they dont want a drink then I take that as lead that they want to get on with things. 

I also ask often as we are getting undressed - i ask what they are into - so therefore I know whether it's oral, kissing, etc...... it can also help to ask as this clears up any akwardness if they mention something I dont do. 

hope this helps!
Glad you found this site so helpful - i would be lost without it !

Alexandra (formerly Nell2) xx