Sorry about the title of the thread,don't mean to sound like an American self help guru

Probably one for the ladies who have been working a few years but how do you keep up your drive  to actually do the job? I have been working close to 2 years (with a 4 month break at the start of this year) Just for a bit of background i actually tried to find a 'real world' job,was offered one and it then fell through as my references were looked into closely and didn't stand the test of scrutiny (i had to get people to give me some semi-fake references to cover the gaps in my work experience)

So here i am back escorting and i am struggling badly. I simply cannot find the motivation to do the job. I don't mean that i offer bad service to my clients as i think i do a good job in that respect. I am always nicely dressed in my heels,stockings etc (unlike all the other girls at my agency who come to work in their jeans and ugg boots half the time ) I am always friendly , get good feedback etc. Its more that i just feel like i am fighting to survive through every booking and frankly cant wait for the moment it will be over. Even the decent clients are a test and the not so decent ones are lucky not to get a slap in the face.
What makes it worse is that i desperately need money at the moment and even that isn't motivation enough! I will tell private clients I'm not available when i am simply because i feel too mentally and physically exhausted to see them. For example i saw 4 clients for my agency yesterday and then has a request for a private outcall at the hotel over the road. I sat and thought about the ?130 i could earn for just and hour and it still wasn't enough to make me drag my sorry backside over to the hotel. I just simply couldn't face the thought of spending another hour with another client!
Then i was wracked with guilt thinking about how much i really need the money  and what a lazy cow i was being not going. Ended up feeling angry with myself for being so pathetic.

Someone please come along and give me a virtual kick up the backside. I think we've established on here that I'm not the worlds most 'natural' escort but this is taking the biscuit.

Er, I have no idea what to suggest except Mega Time Off - it's the only thing that works for me. But not terribly helpful in your situation right now, I know.

Also, I know you're already completely qualified for your job/career plans so I'm not suggesting you're a dumb hooker like me but are there any other evening/part-time courses you could do to flesh out the CV? Ones that aren't too much of a money or time investment, maybe, as it wouldn't be so much the course that was important but the whole idea of giving yourself more ammunition in your next job interviews and having a bit of time each week to focus 100% on you, not work, not clients, not even family responsibilities, but YOUR future. Along these lines, this sounds terribly dramatic, but have you considered looking for Help help? I am doing this myself - it's taking some time, half cos I'm really nervous and half cos it requires some effort - looking for the right Helpful Person to see somewhere within the NHS who can help me get back into full-time regular work eventually/ASAP. So it's not therapy or anything, more a kind of job coaching but I'm obviously not in a very dire situation like many people unfortunately are so I don't want to or shouldn't go to Jobseekers or emergency help places; I have just been taking advantage of meetings here and there with various professionals to get advice and support and confidence to get on the road that's right for me. I started with my doctor and already have tons of plans that make me feel really positive about the future. It's an idea for anybody who is unhappy.

Have you got friends in Newcastle that you can talk to about this? Maybe a safety buddy from this site, more for sanity reasons than safety (although that too of course!)? If not, give me a call and I'll pop over for coffee, it's only about a hundred hours from London innit? I will NOT be on tour though given what I've heard about the biz up there! Blargh!

Hi Simone.


What a crap situation. Realistically, it dosen't sound as though you want to be escorting, but I guess needs must when the devil drives!

My suggestion for getting through the actual time with clients would be to try and find another persona..preferably a sex mad nymph. Only allow that persona to see clients, never you. Having her go do the work while you retreat to a pleasant corner in your brain may help.

It sounds as though you have tried everything that you realistically could to sort work out, but if that is your chosen field, don't stop trying. Go for more interviews, but be honest. Say you were travelling, looking after a sick relative, anything that could cover intermittant employment gaps.

Whatever you do, don't give up. Just see everything you do now as a means to an end.

I hope that you are feeling better today!

xxxx

I don't really have much advice to give, maybe you need to concentrate your energy on getting that mainstream job you want and see this as the stop gap it has to be, so you can think of each client being one step closer to the last client.

Lying in your CV and fake references are not a good idea. Embellishing yes, but only if you can pretty much back up your cliams. You could explain the gaps with travelling or casual work while deciding what course or career path you wanted to take or that you took time out caring for an elderly or sick relative. Also find some genuine people, who will give you a personal reference, even if you replace a work reference with one of these it can be appreciated that you are trying to cover bases in a different way.

Also can you find some voluntary work that is related to the field you want to work in, as I don't know what that is it is difficult to give you advice on (PM me if you want).
Extra course and qualifications are good, but employers will also like that you have gone out to find some practical expereience.

Sorry if this is not the kind of advice you are looking for hun.
Take care of you. XX

Also can you find some voluntary work that is related to the field you want to work in, as I don't know what that is it is difficult to give you advice on (PM me if you want).
Extra course and qualifications are good, but employers will also like that you have gone out to find some practical expereience.

I agree, like css and Cassie said, a bit of unpaid interning would probably be much better than another course - I didn't think properly. But it would be a great solution to the references problem as well as making you golden in the eyes of potential employers. And it could be really enjoyable! It could really take your mind off the last few bookings that you have to do before you waltz into an excellently-paid career as whatever it is. Hugs, anyway. I hope you're feeling okay.

Have a go at webcamming.  Its in your own home, ?20 of kit will get you going and you are in total control. On AW they take 30% but you ust adjust your price accordingly.  I do msn cam shows for a 10min minimum ?15.  ?1.50 a min thereafter. You can ask for more if you do phone chat too.

On direct cam I set group at ?1.20 and private at ?1.70. Like all things there are peak times so you do not sit there and waste your time.  Lunchtime, between 4.30 and 6.30 and after 11pm there is the most traffic. Its mindless but it's free money really. I can make about ?70 in an hour after 11pm if I wear stockings and heels.

Wave your boobs! Lol.

How about rewarding yourself everytime you have a booking?


I dedicate 10% of my income to fripperies ie yummy Feng Sushi delivered to my house (yes, sometimes I do give the leftovers to my dog!), red-soled shoes, and anything that is extravagant and a luxury. Jo malone bath oils work well, as well as nice scented candles.


There is a psychology thing here too- us women are driven not by cash but by the things we can do with it. So to clarify, visualise what you can do with the ?130. Write a list of luxuries that you'd really like- new handbag? shoes? perfume? gifts for family and friends? deposit on yummy house? and then write a list of the things you enjoy sbout escorting. Then one of the things you don't enjoy. You should see more things in the enjoy and the luxury items list. That will motivate you


I promise!!

xxx
xxx

Hi, Newgirl007. I want to say first that I do not believe in arguing online, but I would like you to please read back through your post.

Can I just say, with the utmost respect, that when you are in a life changing drama, serious dilemma, or otherwise Really Difficult or Important Moment, you do not need advice about candles. You do not need to be told to visualise them. Nor do you need to answer these things in very large font, we are all intelligent enough to understand emphasis. Please, find a post that Emily wrote, concerning cake. I do not mean this to offend.

Its fine,i wasent offended by Newgirls post in anyway. If that is what motivates her then she is welcome to share it,each to their own.

Unfortunately i dont earn enough to put money aside for Jo Malone candles. By the time ive paid the bills and mortgage everything else i earn is being saved up so i can get some cash behind me. I dont think ive even bought  a new pair of shoes this summer but  good on any girl who is doing so well in their career they can spend their money on fripperies. I just wish i was one of em

Thank you Simone! I did not mean to sound patronising or 'silly', I simply think that sometimes we can get too caught up with bill paying and forget to look after ourselves emotionally. For me this is long baths and giving things to people I love, even if it's just making them something small, or even doing a good deed. It always makes me feel better anyway.

Simone- if you are looking to get into the Adult (pornish) industry I can give you a contact (PM). You tend to earn 400 pounds from 2 hours work, and a share of subscriber income from 'content'. It's for a stocking fetish website, and you just have to carry off that vintage 50s stockings look, which judging from your profile picture, you like too

Have you thought about setting up on Adult work? I know the others have mentioned it, but if you take some naughty photos, and people pay to view them, you make money whilst sitting on your peachy backside! Same goes for short film clips- I took a few 30 second ones in the bath, and make ?100 so far from them. Another thing that has helped with finance is setting up on www.seekingarrangement.com. It's free, and the men I have encountered are looking for something less transactional than just an escorting arrangement. Some of them have become great friends and they pay say ?200-300 every time you meet up with them. Many of them have also helped me in my career giving me contacts, advice, and even paying for courses. There are some frogs, but you'll find a genuine guy who will give you a leg up.


Cassie- what a brilliant idea, very wise about caring for a relative, and character references from friends, and parctical experience.

Lucy-I think you have contradicted yourself by indeed provoking an (wholly unnecessary) argument. Believe me I have had my fair share of 'life changing drama, serious dilemma, or otherwise Really Difficult or Important Moment(s)'- 4 family members dying in a month for example whilst receiving death threats from a psycho ex boyfriend and drink spiking.  I'm just trying to help Simone from my own experiences with emotional and escorting issues (abusive clients, abusive agency owners, lack of motivation, lack of clients etc etc). So we'll leave it at that then as we are here to support Simone in any way we can, see above.  

((Ps Jo Malone candles are pretty shit, they're made out of synthetic petroleum wax. I get my natural wax ones from Tk Maxx hehe))