Having just had the following phonecall:

him: what are you fees?

me: did you read my website?

him: yes, but my english is not so good.

me: well have a look on the website and my fees are clearly printed

him: are you english?

me: yes.

him: but do you LOOK English?

me: DID YOU SEE MY PHOTOS?

him: no.

me: *long slow exasperated sigh through gritted teeth* 

.....I thought I would ask about anyone's memorable (and printable) conversations with people who are clearly in need of a sharp slap around the back of the head.

Another which springs to mind was someone who asked me, if he made the appointment "all about me" could it be free? Purely as a treat because I obviously worked very hard and needed to unwind from time to time (and who better than to offer me such a selfless pampering session than him?!) Kept him going for a while because it was so amusing.

After I'd hung up he called back FIVE times leaving increasingly desperate messages because he obviously thought he had gotten SO close to securing a free appointment that it would be silly to let it slip through his fingers. Hilarious!

Go on, get me through this solitary winter's eve with some funny conversations!

After I'd hung up he called back FIVE times leaving increasingly desperate messages because he obviously thought he had gotten SO close to securing a free appointment that it would be silly to let it slip through his fingers. Hilarious!

Go on, get me through this solitary winter's eve with some funny conversations!

Hahaha!!! Wish I had heard that.

I think my favorite conversation was 'Hi How are you?' 'I'm fine thanks and yourself?' Good and you? Umm, yes can I help you? Yes (some vague chat here) with the occasional 'so how you doing?' and 'So you are good?' 'How's it going?' 'Are you doing ok?' almost as every other sentence, then when I said I would indeed be available for bookings before Christmas I was met with 'You are very committed to the cause!' It brought to mind old episodes of Allo Allo and the rebel coming through the window

I got one this evening!

Him: so what's your rates?
Me: they're on my site, ?130 an hour
Him: will you take ?75?
Me: No sorry it's ?130 an hour, I'm worth it though (starts to purr down the phone seductively)
Him: well I'm going to make a booking for ?75 an hour, I'd like you to accept it.
Me: puts the phone down

and he did! He actually made a booking on AW for ?75! Cheeky monkey!

Him: well I'm going to make a booking for ?75 an hour, I'd like you to accept it.

I love it! As if this authoritative statement will instantly change your mind. He he he. My favourite today:

me: hello?
him: 'ello?
me: hi, who is this please?
him: errrrr..... who are ya? I've forgotten which one I'm callin'

Wa ha ha! At least think of a quick lie to save yourself man!!!!

girlfriend there's a new feature on the website I advertise on which allows clients to post a wanted price. Sort of like priceline.

I've seen $25 and $50 offered for an hour. Like Ani Mae once said, "there's $50 sex, but it aint escort rates".