Author Topic: love relationships - why so difficult? (Read 3049 times)

Amazon_Woman · « **Reply #15 on:** 03 July 2019, 08:59:41 am »

I've been with my fella for 16yrs this year, I often agree I would get less for murder

I've been a SW for just under a year, he knows what I do, it was discussed in depth, I chose to reserve some sexual antics for him alone and will not do them with clients.

Talking, trust and understanding are keys to ANY relationship, whether being a SW or not.

At the end of the day its not love, its work, just like how people have a 9-5 job in Tesco, its not love, it pays the bills.

My job won't end our relationship, what will end the relationship is, if he keeps leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor!

BangerRacing · « **Reply #16 on:** 03 July 2019, 04:59:31 pm »

Quote from: 80s synthetic on 25 June 2019, 10:20:35 am

Where is the right place, please??...

Swinging site...cuckold? I have a friend who's partner works for the met "po po"

he knows what she does..some guys are accepting of it. ~~probably bi on the sly~~

seraphine · « **Reply #17 on:** 03 July 2019, 05:15:33 pm »

Midlands Ms · « **Reply #18 on:** 03 July 2019, 06:07:41 pm »

Healthy, mutually respectful, egalitarian, mutually beneficial relationships are hard enough just generally to find, but I don't doubt that this job can narrow your options of finding a suitable partner because I don't doubt that a reasonable percentage of men (or women) wouldn't want to date someone who has extra-relationship sex and wouldn't ever be swayed by the 'but its just a job' thinking.

Most of the friends I've had in this game over the years have either not wanted relationships who have had issues with them with regards to jealousy, money resentments and so forth so I'm a little pessimistic. But then there are all kinds of things/characteristics/circumstances that can narrow your potential dating pool I guess. I also don't think its fair to say 'if you've not found a good one its your outlook or your way of looking thats at fault' because even without prostitution, so much of 'finding love' is a luck/numbers game. You could do all the 'on paper' right things and still never find a suitable person who also thinks you;re a suitable person etc etc

CurlsnCurves · « **Reply #19 on:** 03 July 2019, 10:51:49 pm »

My current bloke can't stand me escorting and wants me to quit and do something else. The thought that I might sometimes enjoy a booking really upsets him. He doesn't want to share me with other men but the thing is I hardly see him and I don't work much either so I am kind of suffering from the lack of regular sex if anything. He said he doesn't want a prostitute for a girlfriend but it was him who chased me knowing full well what I did from the start and he's used services himself so I find that really hypocritical. It can be very difficult at times as I am not allowed to discuss work and don't have any support about it from him. I try to keep any bookings I do quiet so as not to upset him but he then has a go at me for not saying I'm working, so I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't! It's hard work at times.

BangerRacing · « **Reply #20 on:** 04 July 2019, 07:44:35 am »

That hypocrisy would be a deal breaker for me. Seems like he's the highly manipulative type.

Gypsy · « **Reply #21 on:** 04 July 2019, 10:47:07 am »

I would like someone, but finding someone I like is impossible.

I had high hopes with someone who lives near me but despite talking to him for hours, him calling me very, very beautiful and gorgeous he's not interested despite being single.

It's the ultimate irony, isn't it? Men who want to be at my mercy pay hundreds and hundreds of pounds for the privilege, and yet this guy doesn't want it for free

He doesn't know what I do by the way. If he did then I could understand his lack of interest. It just makes it all the more ironic.

Thank God I haven't told him!

Lady Frog · « **Reply #22 on:** 04 July 2019, 10:50:17 am »

Quote from: BangerRacing on 04 July 2019, 07:44:35 am

That hypocrisy would be a deal breaker for me. Seems like he's the highly manipulative type.

+1

Quite possible he would make you feel like you had to walk on eggshells in other ways even if you stopped escorting

regieeee · « **Reply #23 on:** 04 July 2019, 11:01:23 am »

Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 03 July 2019, 10:51:49 pm

but the thing is I hardly see him and I don't work much either so I am kind of suffering from the lack of regular sex if anything. He said he doesn't want a prostitute for a girlfriend

There's no need to keep this man.
Time to pack him into a recycling box.
I wouldn't put up with a man like that.
How dare him!

Mirian · « **Reply #24 on:** 04 July 2019, 12:48:31 pm »

I have a formal partner for three years now. like any normal person. His family knows my profession and they do not care and they love me. Although they have dropped that they would like me to have another job, do not meddle because they have never seen their son so happy with anyone.

Everything is possible, you just have to find the right person.

CurlsnCurves · « **Reply #25 on:** 05 July 2019, 08:21:36 pm »

Well yes right now I do in fact feel exactly like I'm walking on eggshells. I did a booking this afternoon and I told him so if he called and I didn't answer he wouldn't go off on one. When I spoke to him later he was off with me, made a dig about me working and everything I said seemed to annoy him so I told him I can't say anything right so I'll leave you to watch tv and got off the phone. I'm not going into the in's and outs of our odd relationship but it is based on Dom/sub with me being the sub but no matter how hard I try to reconcile myself to him only seeing me once a month I just can't accept it. We speak everyday on the phone for hours but he only lives an hour away and the journey is an easy one. If I bring up that I feel lonely and miss him and need to see him more as its not enough he loses his temper with me and says I can go and find myself another boyfriend in that case or says in a testy way that he will come and see me when he has time....but thats just it, he does have a lot of time but for everyone else, so naturally I will be upset about him never seeing me. I cannot understand why he doesn't miss not seeing me or want to see me more and make the effort to do so. Someone said he sounds manipulative which is funny as someone else said the same thing to me only yesterday! The problem I have is that I'm a soft idiot and I do love him and when I do see him the sex is the best I've ever had and he says its the same for him, which only baffles me more. I feel so stuck right now. I nearly said shall we call it a day earlier as its as though you are pushing me into ending things or want to do so yourself but once again my feelings stopped me. I fucking hate love, it just makes things too complicated and upsetting. If someone had told me before that I'd ever be in this situation I'd of literally laughed the idea off as utter nonsence, I feel like I must be a fool to put up with it but I can't seem to change it either. Am I just a weak idiot doormat?

Kay · « **Reply #26 on:** 05 July 2019, 08:41:34 pm »

Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 05 July 2019, 08:21:36 pm

Well yes right now I do in fact feel exactly like I'm walking on eggshells. I did a booking this afternoon and I told him so if he called and I didn't answer he wouldn't go off on one. When I spoke to him later he was off with me, made a dig about me working and everything I said seemed to annoy him so I told him I can't say anything right so I'll leave you to watch tv and got off the phone. I'm not going into the in's and outs of our odd relationship but it is based on Dom/sub with me being the sub but no matter how hard I try to reconcile myself to him only seeing me once a month I just can't accept it. We speak everyday on the phone for hours but he only lives an hour away and the journey is an easy one. If I bring up that I feel lonely and miss him and need to see him more as its not enough he loses his temper with me and says I can go and find myself another boyfriend in that case or says in a testy way that he will come and see me when he has time....but thats just it, he does have a lot of time but for everyone else, so naturally I will be upset about him never seeing me. I cannot understand why he doesn't miss not seeing me or want to see me more and make the effort to do so. Someone said he sounds manipulative which is funny as someone else said the same thing to me only yesterday! The problem I have is that I'm a soft idiot and I do love him and when I do see him the sex is the best I've ever had and he says its the same for him, which only baffles me more. I feel so stuck right now. I nearly said shall we call it a day earlier as its as though you are pushing me into ending things or want to do so yourself but once again my feelings stopped me. I fucking hate love, it just makes things too complicated and upsetting. If someone had told me before that I'd ever be in this situation I'd of literally laughed the idea off as utter nonsence, I feel like I must be a fool to put up with it but I can't seem to change it either. Am I just a weak idiot doormat?

Sorry, but I have to say yes, you are. Get rid of him.

Missizzy · « **Reply #27 on:** 05 July 2019, 08:47:50 pm »

We've all done dumb things for love, but yeah.

Lady Frog · « **Reply #28 on:** 05 July 2019, 09:37:07 pm »

I'm long-time single (by choice) so am probably the not the best person to comment on how much shit you should put up with from a partner in the name of compromise to further a romantic relationship.

I would just like to remind you though that a dom/sub relationship in any form is supposed to meet the needs of both parties. Although it is the dom that does the 'bossing' it is really the sub who is in control as they have chosen to give the dom permission to treat them this way. The dom should always consider whether his style of domination suits your needs as well as his own.

Constantly reassess the relationship.

Possibly he is trying to mask the fact he now treats you like crap, and makes no effort to satisfy your needs, behind the fact you started out with a D/s relationship? Those two are completely separate issues and shouldn't be confused. Bad boyfriend is a bad boyfriend regardless of your kinks

regieeee · « **Reply #29 on:** 06 July 2019, 12:14:02 pm »

Quote from: CurlsnCurves on 05 July 2019, 08:21:36 pm

I cannot understand why he doesn't miss not seeing me or want to see me more and make the effort to do so.

I don't particularly think neither his behaviour nor yours is mysterious.
Sex can be so addictive when you are much younger.
I have gone past that stage ages ago.
Do I miss it? Hard to say. . . .

You are once-a month "fuckbuddy" where sex is the main and he likes it that way.
You love it as well.
He does not want it all the time, understandably.
Maybe, he likes to do "relationship" stuff with someone else, who's more relationship-orientated lady, cooking, going away together etc?
Could he be a little older?
He sounds like he has lower sex drive than you.

Or, he might be open to seeing other women if you don't live together.
Or already in a relationship with someone else i.e. wife that he would not want to discuss that she even "exists". Do you know his status? Single, married etc? Do you spend time in "his" place?

He plays a role that he cares about you and he might/does in his own ways.
He enjoys playing with your emotions (about whoring) which might be part of this d/s dynamics.
You might find it exasperating but spend hours chatting on the phone (that won't help the matter in a real sense but maybe sexually, it does).
Strong emotions can make sex even better.
It's how it "feels" like that drives you at it.
It's almost like a drug/roller coaster ride.

If your priority is hot sex, fuckbuddies are not so bad.
You can stay on that exciting ride for a little longer,
sometimes, it's too good to get off.
I'm sure you have a special bond.

You could enjoy the ride for now until "enough is enough" hits you.
If once-a-month action / "arrangement"
is not enough, then you need two more men to keep you busy.
Maybe, escorting makes it up (?)

This stage usually passes after a certain age group.
I often think it's hormones.
Nature telling you to have sex.

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: love relationships - why so difficult? (Read 3049 times)

Amazon_Woman

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BangerRacing

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seraphine

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Midlands Ms

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CurlsnCurves

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BangerRacing

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Gypsy

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Lady Frog

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regieeee

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Mirian

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CurlsnCurves

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Kay

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Missizzy

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Lady Frog

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regieeee

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