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Author Topic: loss of feeling during sex  (Read 2425 times)

Sweet-Pleasure

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loss of feeling during sex
« on: 01 August 2012, 05:15:59 pm »
Hello all,

Something rather strange has happened to me in the last few months since I got out of escorting and I was wondering if anyone had any insight.  Apologies as this isn't technically a question about escorting, but maybe it can go in the getting out section if there is an answer.

So I've been out if the industry for about 2 and a half months. But before that I had cut right down in work, since about February.  I had, and continue to have no sex drive at all.
 
I don't think about sex, I don't want sex and I find taking care of my partner's needs a chore. I can't even get wet, which I've always been able to do, with the least attractive least skilled if my clients.  My partner is worried that it's because I'm not working, I feel less attractive and that he isn't enough to satisfy me, which isn't the case, as I can't even satisfy myself when I'm on my own!

Last night he lubed me up and used all the moves that would normally have me calling all the deities out, but while I knew he was there I had no strong feelings.  It was like all the buttons he used to push just weren't there any more.  My concern is that I can't remember the last time we had sex!

Has anyone else ever had anything like this happen?

X
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Kinky Starlet

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Re: loss of feeling during sex
« Reply #1 on: 01 August 2012, 05:30:05 pm »
Yes I have you poor thing, andfir me it was the catalyst that diagnosed a bout of depression even tho I didn't feel depressed. It's worth talking to your doc as it could be a hormone imbalance even a temp one, but it's a good idea to get checked. Mine came back when my stressors were back under control. It wasn't permanent for me. There are lots of things that can trigger it so taking a long look at what else in your life might be making you anxious worried or just low might be a good place to start. Good hon x
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lady c

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Re: loss of feeling during sex
« Reply #2 on: 01 August 2012, 08:40:47 pm »
ah sorry labido does change from time to time and yes hormones can play a big part also medication, i would look into these factors but don,t worry too much i am sure there is a simple explanation.
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Ellie_e

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Re: loss of feeling during sex
« Reply #3 on: 01 August 2012, 10:35:57 pm »
happened 3 times to me

1) got a bit crazy on a super low carb diet (about 20-40g carbs a day, for over a year, which is quite extreme), which resulted in hypothalamic amenorrhoea.  (Ie. low thyroid, resulting in no periods).  And no girly hormones = no sex drive.  However, this also happened to me when I was 18 and dropped a lot of weight - it doesn't just happen on low carb, but any time when your body feels it's getting enough food.  Now I'm on low carb, high protein and high fat, which is great.

2) Just stopped fancying my BF, after 3.5 years together.  Sad, but it happens.  Although probably not the case with you if you have no desire for other guys

3) When I was on the pill.  Urgh, never again!


However, the female sex drive is a curious beast.  If sex feels like a chore, it's hard to get in the place, mentally, where you want to do it.  Maybe ask your partner to drop the pressure for a few weeks, and then only have sex/do sexy stuff when *you* actually want to.
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ThreeFaces

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Re: loss of feeling during sex
« Reply #4 on: 02 August 2012, 03:35:24 am »
I agree with the above posters it's probably hormonal/ psychological rather than anything physical (though if you're worried see your doctor). If you've just recently quit it's probably stress related - any large change in your life can cause stress, and it does play havoc with your libido. Don't put any pressure on yourself to get your mojo back - just relax and take it easy!
Though do check the info leaflets of any medication youre on - I totally lost the ability to orgasm last Christmas after starting new tablets, and I was going insane as I couldn't figure out what was wrong for ages until I googled and found the answer. It's insanely frustrating so you have my empathy!

Hope all works out, let us know how you get on and when you get your mojo back (can you tell I watched Austin Powers lately?!)

Take care xx
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CatsEyes

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Re: loss of feeling during sex
« Reply #5 on: 02 August 2012, 07:37:01 pm »
I have had it, literally to the point of not actually physically feeling anything  :o although scary, it IS most likely psychological.

It might be an idea to go to the docs and get tested for all the common culprits - hormone levels, any recently started medications, thyroid, anaemia, and if these are excluded, maybe consider therapy.

The times I have felt like this have been either when having serious ongoing relationship problems (maybe look at that one) or when feeling sex work burnout. I had long term counselling for it as I tried all self- help methods and none helped much. Although now I am getting there.

Hope you can work through it soon, you deserve a decent sex life x
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Roxychu

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Re: loss of feeling during sex
« Reply #6 on: 03 August 2012, 11:15:21 am »
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« Last Edit: 18 March 2013, 11:11:09 pm by Roxychu »
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Sweet-Pleasure

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Re: loss of feeling during sex
« Reply #7 on: 04 August 2012, 12:56:44 pm »
Hi girls!

Thanks for all the help and support!

I've taken a long look at myself and I think it may be depression.  Thinking about it I have no passion or energy for anything, not just sex.  I've been to my GP and been given some antidepressants.  I was hoping for a counselling referral, but that can take 6 to 8 weeks and while the pills can take  a month or so to kick in, I could do with the pick me up ASAP.

I'm worrying because my temp job comes to an end in September and I cannot afford to be unemployed, so may need to have sex work to fall back on.  This won't make my BF happy, but if we're getting on in the bedroom it may take the sting out of it for him.

I'm also worried that I might not be able to enjoy sex without a stack of 20s on the nightstand...
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Roxychu

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Re: loss of feeling during sex
« Reply #8 on: 04 August 2012, 11:20:38 pm »
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« Last Edit: 18 March 2013, 11:11:25 pm by Roxychu »
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