SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Sunny on 08 September 2009, 10:09:34 pm
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Hi Ladies
I am so grateful for the welcome here.
I have a couple of questions if you don't mind them all being in the same thread...
1.For the record, I like kissing. How do you deal with the guy who salivates to the excess in your mouth and insists on sticking his tongue deep into your throat? Do you direct or resist? In personal relationships, I would direct but is this acceptable in punts?
2. I have an unsightly scar. Is it best to let the guy know before he books or keep it covered (a definite possibility)?
3. I don't intend to publish face photo's online (this is part time with a couple of other business interests ongoing). How often have you had folks turn up and then depart rapidly upon seeing you? I don't consider myself to be bad looking...but these things are ridiculously subjective, as I'm sure you will appreciate!
Thanks guys x
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Kissing. If its not v.nice try kissing him somewhere he doesnt salivate from, ie neck, back etc.
Scars. I have one on my leg, never mention it. If its ever commented on I just say I fell off my bicycle when I was 11.(the truth.) By this time the client is already undressed and has paid so unlikely to let it bother him.
Walkers? Im sure we all get them. Ive had a bloke 30 years my senior complete with man boobs who didnt fancy me. Closely followed by a real "hottie" younger than me who didnt want to leave! You have to take it on the chin and shrug it off. Try to book a regular in first thing if youve had time off. It does help with nerves.
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The kissing problem is one I do get quite a lot as I always kiss during bookings - my least fave is when the guy is on top and does such open-mouthed slurpy kisses that I swear I can feel his drool pouring into my mouth! Urgh. One guy I had really did seem into this - he wanted us to spit into each others' mouths and I think I went green at the thought - but others I think actually want to kiss us as they think we want to be kissed. So they are very happy to take gentle/tactful direction.
Most people have a mark or scar or mole or *something* somewhere, so this isn't something I let bother me. I just keep in mind that if a client does appear horrified (though none have, yet) I am fully prepared to give him his money back (or some of it, if sex has already occurred!) and shoo him out. No need for stress or panics or problems.
Same with not showing face pics and the possibility of a client not wanting to stay. Haven't had this issue yet but I'm sure I will one day and again, will just refund him and show him the door. So even though it likely will happen some day I don't worry about it at all - it will just mean an unexpected day off. ;D
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Hi Sunny.
1. Some guys will insist on trying to stick their tongue right in your mouth and drool all over you. I cant stand deep tongue action in my private life so I'm not willing to put up with it at work either! Some guys will stick their tongue out as soon as your mouth goes near theres,in which case i will just give tiny 'pecky' kisses and then start kissing their neck,chest etc to distract them. Or another trick i learned from another escort is if you are kissing and their tongue is getting a bit on the darty side stick your own tongue to the roof of your mouth near your lips and it blocks your mouth off and stops them licking your tonsils off!
As Emily said some men will wait until they are on top of you and you cant move away to lick your face off. In that case if they are really suffocating me i will just stop reciprocating the kiss and they usually get the message. I cant breathe through my nose very well (I'm a medical phenomenon) so if someone is covering my whole mouth i cant catch my breath properly,not nice at all.
If someone has manky teeth,bad breath etc i will tell them from the off i don't kiss. Most guys are horned up by then so still keep their booking. If they dint come back to see me then fine,i dint want to cultivate anti-listerine mans business.
2. Scar's got loads on both arms from a self harming in my younger years. Ive rarely had a client comment on them and certainly never had anyone not want to see me over them. I do think men are generally quite forgiving of things like that. In my case i just work harder on my appearance than a non-scarred lady might have to so that my scars arent a deal breaker as the rest of me looks nice enough (hopefully) to let it go.
3.Never had a guy walk out on me but I'm sure it will eventually. Its happened to ladies i know who are really gorgeous. I do think their are men out there who do such things on purpose just for the power trip. If it ever happens just take it on the chin,let it go and don't think about that man again.
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It's been a long time since someone's actually dribbled into my mouth, thank gods. I used to sometimes get grossed out by having too much of my own saliva in my mouth, it's my thing.
If someone's trying to eat my face I sometimes open my mouth wide to match theirs. I only do it if it's particularly annoying me though because they just keep going and holding my mouth wide open isn't much fun either.
The other one that really bugs me is when they stick their tongue in my mouth and won't remove it even for a moment. I pull away for a moment so I can close my mouth and swallow without being nauseated, but they rarely take the hint so I have to keep doing it.
Fuck it, I think I should start coaching them. I figure the odds are about even that they'll appreciate knowing what I actually want. I don't expect it to be long-lasting though; I explained to one guy that putting his tongue in my mouth, making it hard, and just leaving it there without moving was too weird. He was good for the rest of the session but back to usual next time.
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Walkers? Im sure we all get them. Ive had a bloke 30 years my senior complete with man boobs who didnt fancy me. Closely followed by a real "hottie" younger than me who didnt want to leave!
As I said...hugely subjective. I appreciate all the input on this one. I think I can just shrug it off.
One guy I had really did seem into this - he wanted us to spit into each others' mouths and I think I went green at the thought -
Eurgh...my worst nightmare! :o Also green at the thought...
Or another trick i learned from another escort is if you are kissing and their tongue is getting a bit on the darty side stick your own tongue to the roof of your mouth near your lips and it blocks your mouth off and stops them licking your tonsils off!
The perfect tip, I actually practised this today!
Fuck it, I think I should start coaching them.
I've come to the conclusion, this is the answer on the kissing issue. Hey, some will love it, some will hate it, but I need to be able to get through without activating the very sensitive 'gag' reflex just with kissing methinks!!
Thank you once again ladies, I totally appreciate your wealth of experience. I have decided to haul your advice on board about the kissing...direct or deflect. I'm not gonna publish the scar issue and deal with it if/when it arises (as advised) and shall exercise my rhino skin to deal with 'walkers'.
Thanks xx
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LOL, I was rolling at Anika's story...
Not to go off topic, but one night I met a guy in the club and at first he started aggressively kissing eating my friends lips. Then my friend threw him onto me and he started biting mine!
Being we were all wasted, I ended up staying with the guy and he continued the hard kissing. The next morning my lower lip looked as I had sunburn or something! I've been 'fortunate' to meet 2 guys like that in my life who seem to like seeing someone quench in pain while being kissed
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Hi Joey...nice to 'meet' you
Crappy/insensitive kissing is not entirely off subject. To be frank, I think that's one of my biggest issues. I love kissing...on my terms if you know what I mean! Tell me something? Did you enjoy it..even slightly (although wasted)?
In my personal experience, guys like pain on some level at the height of stimulation...perhaps just the type of guy I have attracted in the past...just my musings.
Sunny x
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Firstly I wouldnt be too concerned if a guy changes his mind when you open the door. Its impossible for everyone to be attracted to you and so shouldnt really be considered an insult if you are not that particular persons type. I have had one guy to it to me and I just asked for a cancellation fee. That was when I was still advertising in the paper and it came with the territory (do men not listen AT ALL!!?)
I have scars from self harming too and it has never been mentioned and I don't warn guys about it. We all have marks we were not born with (something like 85% of people will have a mark they were not born with by the age of 10!)
I actually hate kissing. Its a siliva thing but I do it for personal and work because it benefits me however I have a inability to shut up and put up so when a guy is being really awful i will tell him (not in a nasty way i will just ask him if he would like me to kiss him in a way i really like and it works)
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Firstly I wouldnt be too concerned if a guy changes his mind when you open the door. Its impossible for everyone to be attracted to you and so shouldnt really be considered an insult if you are not that particular persons type.
I have a inability to shut up and put up so when a guy is being really awful i will tell him (not in a nasty way i will just ask him if he would like me to kiss him in a way i really like and it works)
Hi Amber...I think we have much in common! I'm cool with people not being attracted to me now, different strokes for different folks! I can't deal with bad kissing on a personal level so I think, based on everyone's experiences and advice I will direct or deflect. I can't just cope with it...it has to be fun (idealistic?).
Sunny x
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well i have a dent in my forehead gained at the age of 4.
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I was thinking about this earlier. I think kissing is very personal. It would not really feel sensual if it were a youngish guy or an oldie, skilled or unskilled. I would only truely enjoy snogging somebody id fancied the pants off for a while. But its definately better if its not a spitty tongue stabbing away at you, even worse if thier eyes are wide open.
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Tell me something? Did you enjoy it..even slightly (although wasted)?
LOL, in fact..I did enjoy it. I like it when a guy kisses and bites down on my lips. However, being that I didnt know either one of these guys well, I couldnt help but think 'STI' the entire time and push them away a bit. Being that they created an open wound on my lip and all...and kissing leads to sucking and all sorts of stuff. All this was like 2 and 4 years ago...and all is well :P
Firstly I wouldnt be too concerned if a guy changes his mind when you open the door. Its impossible for everyone to be attracted to you and so shouldnt really be considered an insult if you are not that particular persons type.
Thanks for the in-direct inspiration. Last weekend, for the first time in what must have been over a year, I met a guy (non-client) and he made up an excuse as soon as we met to not to be with me the rest of that afternoon after I drove 20 miles to see him :'( I clearly wasnt his type. It was so painful, but I had to remember the many, many, MANY guys who have appreciated me, and replayed the words 'you're hot' that has been said to me...
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Firstly I wouldnt be too concerned if a guy changes his mind when you open the door. Its impossible for everyone to be attracted to you and so shouldnt really be considered an insult if you are not that particular persons type. I have had one guy to it to me and I just asked for a cancellation fee. That was when I was still advertising in the paper and it came with the territory (do men not listen AT ALL!!?)
Dicks don't have ears!
And welcome Sunny. I too have a scar, never mention it. And by the time he is down there to see it, well, it is too late anyway. :P
Kissing, most men don't have a clue, you either get slobbered on like a labrador, or chapped lipped to death. It goes with the territory.
Walk outs will happen, just roll with it, and don't take it personally.
Other than that have fun.
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LOL, in fact..I did enjoy it. I like it when a guy kisses and bites down on my lips. However, being that I didnt know either one of these guys well, I couldnt help but think 'STI' the entire time and push them away a bit. Being that they created an open wound on my lip and all...and kissing leads to sucking and all sorts of stuff.
Ah...yes, of course! The reality check once again. Thanks for bearing out my 'personal' research though x
I too have a scar, never mention it. And by the time he is down there to see it, well, it is too late anyway. :P
Kissing, most men don't have a clue, you either get slobbered on like a labrador, or chapped lipped to death. It goes with the territory.
Walk outs will happen, just roll with it, and don't take it personally.
Other than that have fun.
Hi Violette and thanks for the warm welcome. You did make me smile!
You're right, on a personal level nobody has even noticed the scar until my paranoia kicks in. I'm gonna leave it. Same with kissing, but I was really wondering if it was ok to say so as it would be in a personal relationship...I'm just going to go down that road I reckon and see how it goes (I'll respond to the feedback loop of course!).
I may come back to you in the future about touring...you seem to be the resident expert. x
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Had to drag this topic back up as I had a 'Dribbler' last night. I tried all the usual techniques, to no avail. In the end I had to tell him straight that drooling into my mouth was making me want to heave :-X Please Stop it!
He was shocked and said he'd always thought he was a good kisser. So I gave him a lesson......He's been back to see me today with flowers and a Thank You card :D
I'm glad I told him. One less drooler for us ladies to worry about lmao! It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it ;) x
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Thank you MissAlex, you have truly done us a service...btw, I hate flowers, is it ok to say 'chocolates (or favourite fragrance) only as a thank you please!!'
I have decided this is the best approach; education x
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Try not to tell them you hate flowers in case they've bought them already, but if you're working from a website it might be worth stating on there what gifts you like. Even write that flowers are not very discreet. They usually get the picture lol
Remember 'It's the thought that counts' though chick. If you get flowers, play the game and say how lovely they are then promptly give them to a relative or friend ;) I would rather have had some perfume or underwear but how practical is it for a married guy to go out buying these? Most of clients are married as we know lol ::)
Love Alex x x
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Good advice once again Miss Alex...sorry, that was tongue in cheek! Nobody knows I dislike flowers apart from some gf's and my sis (who always gets them, she loves flowers)...
When I get a website, I shall emphasise the choc option, just so they know! x
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It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it ;) x
Lawd! Don't say it like that. Making us feel like New York City sanitation department :D
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Joey you are funny sometimes.
I usually say I don't offer kissing but if I like them then I snog their face off. I had one guy who said "do you kiss?" and then proceeded to lunge at me while sticking his tongue out!!!!! That was quite funny actually.
xx