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Author Topic: jaded and confused!  (Read 3218 times)

amyamyamy123

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jaded and confused!
« on: 04 August 2012, 04:17:46 am »
Can't believe I've never seen this site before....!

I've been escorting for 7 years, since I was 17 and I feel totally jaded...

I worked briefly in in a house and for an agency but nearly all the time I've been doing it I've been independent.

I've never been very good at doing more than a couple of booking a day and for the last year or two its just been once or twice a week with a handful of regular clients.

I made the mistake of making a deal with one of my clients that I would do a lower rate if he saw me more often (his idea) which in itself is fine but when he asked I needed the money and now I've finally sat down and looked at it it's gone from X amount for 3hrs to the same amount for 7/8 hours!!! How did it get to that?? Even if he sees me every week its not good.

It wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't gradually built up what he wants over the last year so that it's extremely intense and he's never satifisfied...I've basically said now that I cant do longer than 3/4hrs and i want the same money....surprise, surprise he's not happy!

Then within the same week I had a booking with another regular who normally takes me for a lovely lunch followed by 3 hours but all of a sudden he got it into his head that he wanted to see me before lunch and after. I didn't know how it was going to work, if would be 3hrs plus time before lunch or 3hrs altogether and I'm in the situation (after seeing this client for 3ish years who has at times expressed "feelings" for me) that I cant ask questions about money or times as he freaks out! Ended up being about 4.5hrs for the same money again!
 Also I used to quite enjoy the sex with this client but I now just find it painful and I feel disconnected...

I think I've backed myself into a corner with my clients, they also expect a lot from me emotionally and when they aren't seeing me they text a lot and expect replies but I cant upset them as need the money....

I want to give up I think and I'm planning on replacing the work with webcaming on AW but I'm also tempted to try and get some fresh business and put some money in the bank before I stop....

There doesn't seem to be that much work out there though and I can only do outcalls and have no car...!

I know I'm rambling but I just want some opinions.....and advice...




Vampera

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #1 on: 04 August 2012, 07:30:26 am »
I'm not sure I can offer you any Advice but I didn't want to read and run as you sound so upset and disillusioned with Life....and thats kind of how I'm feeling at the moment as well.

It IS hard when some Clients take advantage but at the end of the day if they want to see you then they should be paying the correct amount to do so.....try to be strong and if you lose them as Regulars, well, in my experience there's always someone else that will replace him....

Why not try going on Tour?  Pick a really popular City and then you can do In-Calls from the Hotel...although I know you said money is tight for you at the moment so I'm not sure that will Work.

Apart from that I'm not sure what else to say.....Keep us posted and feel free to Join in here as much as you'd like to....

Keep strong and stay safe....I'll be thinking of you....
Swim The Warm Waters of Sins
Of The Flesh (Rocky Horror)

amyamyamy123

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #2 on: 04 August 2012, 07:55:19 am »
Thanks for replying.....I know there's not much you can say to in reply to my post other that what you've said...

Re touring, I've thought about it in the past but been unsure as to how it works...do you advertise a certain date, get a certain amount of bookings then book a hotel? How does it work with the hotel, don't they get suspicious?

I'm not to far from London and with all the Olympic activity.....


Why are you feeling disillusioned and upset? Not being nosey but as you were so kind as to respond to my emotianal load dumping its only fair you get to do the same   :) x

Spangle

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #3 on: 04 August 2012, 08:49:45 am »
Hello Amy

Welcome to Saafe  :)
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time at the moment, I've only been wreaking for a couple of years but I find I have to work harder to make the same money.
They say a change is as good as a rest and I'm inclined to agree with BBW_SEXY_DESIRES r.e going on tour. Pick a city that you've always fancied seeing and enjoy some sightseeing while you're at it.
I don't want to work in my home city so I tour constantly and although some are quieter than others, I earn enough to get by.
No, so long as you pick a suitable hotel (large, busy lobby, ideally with gyms/meeting facilities restaurants thus meaning there are many nonresidents coming and going all the time, and very importantly-no keycard restrictions to the lift/room corridors) you should have no problems. To date, I've never had any issues with the hotel becoming aware of what I'm up to.

I arrange my tours in the following way:
-Decide where you want to go.
-Go to late rooms and book a suitable hotel. Unless otherwise stated, you don't need to pay until check in. Hotels such as Hilton's, Crowne plazas, Radissons tend to be perfect for tours but do check the keycard situation before booking.
-Go to "My tours" on AW and input the tour details.
-Update your profile with the tour details, encouraging gents to enquire/book in advance.
-Add the tour details to your website if you have one.
-Search for any local punting sites in the area you're touring in and add your tour details.
-When you're ready to go, change the location of your aw profile to the town/city your visiting. Personally, I like to do this at least a couple of days before to help generate bookings.
-When clients have confirmed their booking, I text/email the hotel address and tell them to call on arrival, just before the enter the hotel so I can give them the room number and clear directions on how to reach it e.g 201, 2nd floor, walk in main door and take a left for the lifts etc.

This is just my method and I'm sure there'll be some other ladies along in a minute with more tips.

With regards to the gents you've mentioned, they sound like textbook examples of boundary pushers. He freaks out if you mention your fee? Good grief, you provide a paid service. Methinks its an act to get extra time and it seems to be working. If you're unhappy to continue giving the other gentleman a reduced fee, tell him. If he doesn't like it, then I don't think you've lost a good thing..

Good luck x


amy

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #4 on: 04 August 2012, 09:34:58 am »
Amy, if you make a couple more posts you will be able to see the dedicated touring section here, plus there is a massive article on the main SAAFE site to get you started.

In the meantime, can we stay on topic and keep the detailed touring info to the appropriate area, folks? It's only one option for the OP and I think there are some far more pressing matters to address in form of pisstaking punters before taking on the rest of it.

Abbeycro

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #5 on: 04 August 2012, 09:44:48 am »
Clients who see you alot can sometimes get emotionally attatched, I have had clients say to me things like , "I am not a normal client, we're are friends, I consider you a friend as we get on so well" etc etc, then they email alot, text alot, want to go out with you for free and think that even if you retired you would want to see them as it's more than just paying for fun, then ask for a discount.  I absolutely hate this and dump clients that get like this, before you know it you are doing a 2 hour session which ends up being 3 as they talk so much and think your buddies.  This is why your fed up, clients like this are exhausting.  If they get like this dump them.  Do some cam on Adultwork to have a bit more money coming in.

I will add I enjoy what I do and make sure I provide a good service as they are paying me good money, but thats what it is, they are paying for a service, dont let them take the p***



Jan10

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #6 on: 04 August 2012, 09:45:36 am »
Can't believe I've never seen this site before....!

I've been escorting for 7 years, since I was 17 and I feel totally jaded...

I worked briefly in in a house and for an agency but nearly all the time I've been doing it I've been independent.

I've never been very good at doing more than a couple of booking a day and for the last year or two its just been once or twice a week with a handful of regular clients.

I made the mistake of making a deal with one of my clients that I would do a lower rate if he saw me more often (his idea) which in itself is fine but when he asked I needed the money and now I've finally sat down and looked at it it's gone from X amount for 3hrs to the same amount for 7/8 hours!!! How did it get to that?? Even if he sees me every week its not good.

It wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't gradually built up what he wants over the last year so that it's extremely intense and he's never satifisfied...I've basically said now that I cant do longer than 3/4hrs and i want the same money....surprise, surprise he's not happy!

Then within the same week I had a booking with another regular who normally takes me for a lovely lunch followed by 3 hours but all of a sudden he got it into his head that he wanted to see me before lunch and after. I didn't know how it was going to work, if would be 3hrs plus time before lunch or 3hrs altogether and I'm in the situation (after seeing this client for 3ish years who has at times expressed "feelings" for me) that I cant ask questions about money or times as he freaks out! Ended up being about 4.5hrs for the same money again!
 Also I used to quite enjoy the sex with this client but I now just find it painful and I feel disconnected...


I think I've backed myself into a corner with my clients, they also expect a lot from me emotionally and when they aren't seeing me they text a lot and expect replies but I cant upset them as need the money....

I want to give up I think and I'm planning on replacing the work with webcaming on AW but I'm also tempted to try and get some fresh business and put some money in the bank before I stop....

There doesn't seem to be that much work out there though and I can only do outcalls and have no car...!

I know I'm rambling but I just want some opinions.....and advice...



Just tell him to do one or tell him that you will continue with the arrangement lunch and 3 hours but don't see him after lunch as he will just continue to change things. The reason why you are not enjoying sex with him is because deep down you feel used, get back in the driving seat and stop those selfish men dictating to you, if they don't like it tough. The next thing they wll be doing is trying to get it for free.

With the text stop replying they will soon get the message, tell them you are busy and do not have time to be texting them, they are the worse kind of clients you give them an inch and they will take a yard, they are boundary pushers that will grind you down. Get rid or make it clear that you are putting your prices back to the original price you had give or take a few quid.

I got myself into the same situation you have in the end I just told the regulars they can continue to be regulars or stop seeing me as I am going to stop them calling the shots as they are taking the piss. I don't mind knocking ?10 - ?20 off  a booking but when they start booking an hour and wanting to stay for 2 hours I just think enough is enough, or phoning me and saying I have ?50 what can you give me for ?50 I just think I can do with out them.
Hello nice to meet you :)

strawberry

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #7 on: 04 August 2012, 10:24:29 am »
You need to take control before you just feel so rubbish you can't provide a good service(which is what is happening). If you can't raise questions about the booking after seeing him for so long, that is wrong and what if he starts trying it on in other ways? Initially it might well scare off the client, but if he likes you that much he'll be back on your terms, or you may find in the time you have freed up you do find another client who is very clear about the time he wants. Best approach would be to say you can give him x amount of time (where x was the total amount of time for lunch plus the 3 hours previously) so if it starts at 11am before lunch it'll finish at (11am+x)pm.

orchidperfume

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #8 on: 04 August 2012, 10:49:46 am »
AmyAmy  I had a client who wanted lower rates, I now dont see him because he is beginning to take the p** .
I sent polite email stating when he can afford my rate and is making his booking get in touch. (he wont)
do they think we have a  summer season sale on or do voluntry hours? !
 Hope you get busy with touring, check adult work touring tips too.
good luck x  ;)

amyamyamy123

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #9 on: 04 August 2012, 12:45:08 pm »
Thank you all so much for your help!

I agree with all of you, they are taking the p*** and I do find it exhausting now, it's like trying to maintain two additional relationships (that I don't want) on top of my actual relationship with my partner!

It's nice having regulars, knowing what they like, being comfortable etc but it's gone way beyond that now, I'm fed up with what they like and am uncomfortable and annoyed most of the time I see them.

You've all helped me feel more confident about making some big changes to how I've been doing things, I still intend to give up this year but I think a tour will be a good idea for a final fling with this career of mine. :)


amyamyamy123

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #10 on: 04 August 2012, 01:00:46 pm »
can someone tell me where to find the Touring section on here? Want to set up a tour and find suggestions for appropriate hotel in and around London that don't require a non refundable deposit.....

EmilyJones

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #11 on: 04 August 2012, 02:02:22 pm »
can someone tell me where to find the Touring section on here? Want to set up a tour and find suggestions for appropriate hotel in and around London that don't require a non refundable deposit.....

It's at the top of the Questions and Answers forum page. IIRC, you only need 5 constructive forum posts to be able to view it, but if you can't see it yet then you may need 10. Apologies for the inconvenience, but I'm sure you can imagine why this is necessary! We do have a touring article on the main SAAFE site (http://www.saafe.info) and posts in this very thread, such as Spangle's have already outlined to you how to find a suitable hotel yourself. :)
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Escort38

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #12 on: 04 August 2012, 02:10:59 pm »
Other replies have just about covered what I would have  said Amyamyamy
and I think you are right when you say you feel backed into a corner. You can
come out of that corner quiet easily though.
From what you tell us you are in your early 20's and possibly spent as you earned
your cash?  I can not stress enough how important it is in this business to put some
money aside as a back up if things go wrong in any way.

It is a great comfort when we can take a bit of time off and not have to worry about bills.
Ditch these clients who have moved the goalposts, although I think you were instrumental
in moving them too but some guys will go on taking the P if we let them.
There ARE more guys out there who will respect you more and if you genuinely want to continue the
work then just go through your client list and be firm with yourself and have a throw out.

I hope it works for you and as to the touring thing, yes it can be a great way to meet new clients and
you will never know until you try it. Why not do a day or two at first and if things go well it should boost
your confidence a lot!

Vampera

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #13 on: 04 August 2012, 04:55:12 pm »
Hey Amyamyamy.....just wanted to drop in a quick reply....sounds like you are feeling better which is great....

Do try Camming....apparently that can be rather lucrative....

Hope the Tour works out!!

Don't worry about me.....My stuff is just to do with the profession that I'm Training to be in....it's complicated and I won't bore you with it....but I'll be just fine....  :)
Swim The Warm Waters of Sins
Of The Flesh (Rocky Horror)

amyamyamy123

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Re: jaded and confused!
« Reply #14 on: 04 August 2012, 07:33:13 pm »
I texted the client who has been extending the time for the same money, I'll give my other client the benefit of the doubt as it is the first time he's ever done it and mainly because he had the whole day free as opposed to coming from work (he usually wouldnt have time to come before lunch).

I'm going to try the touring for about 3 days but I'm wondering whether to advertise to clients before I book the hotel to gauge popularity?

I genuinely wish I had found this site sooner, I have struggled with dealing with my job for years, it can be very lonely.

Thanks again everyone x