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Author Topic: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?  (Read 2383 times)

princessdee

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It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« on: 30 July 2018, 07:26:52 pm »
I have been in contact with this couple for a few days (I met them on Seeking Arrangements) and they want to link up on Tuesday before they leave on their vacation and I am so nervous. I don't find him attractive at all which doesn't really matter but I do find his wife attractive. We have been talking for a few days now and I just get so nervous and I don't know how to calm my nerves. This is my first time doing anything like this so I am not sure if I can handle a couple. They told me they were swingers and that they want to have fun. They want to meet at a restaurant and then go to the hotel. Should I ask for the money before we do anything? They haven't said how long we will be at the hotel and I feel like setting a time limit. I don't want to be there all night I feel like it's just going to be an awkward experience for me. ALSO on top of that I have severe breast asymmetry so I am nervous about that because it is embarrassing and I don't know if I can escort having severe breast asymmetry. One side is a B cup and one side is a dd. If anyone has some advice for a nervous 20 year old then please let me know :)

xw5

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #1 on: 30 July 2018, 07:38:06 pm »
First words of the sex work Bible: get the money first. That includes before eating / drinking with them.

You also need to establish boundaries around what you will do and for how long.

Have you actually spoken to her on the phone?

If your marketing doesn't pretend that your breasts are the same size, the vast majority of clients won't care they are different sizes. Ditto stretch marks etc etc etc.
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #2 on: 30 July 2018, 07:41:59 pm »
Have you spoken to the woman? On the phone? Because 99% of so called couples bookings are just the bloke fantasising.

I would send them a message/text now just saying something like "Just want to firm up details of our meet on X day. You haven't stated how long you want to meet for but I'm assuming if we're having dinner first you'll want 4 hours. My price for that is 500 quid. I'll be requiring payment on arrival at the restaurant, please have the money in an envelope."

Don't be disappointed if you never hear from "them" again.

About the breast asymmetry, it's easy for me to say but I would try not to feel self conscious about it. Most men will be delighted that they get to see your boobs full stop. You could even make reference to it in your profile by saying "One of my boobs is bigger than the other so this is good news for guys who love big boobs AND guys who like smaller ones!" Use accurate photos so guys know what they're getting.

I have great big stretch marks and horrible flabby bingo wings - in all my years escorting nobody has ever mentioned it.
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princessdee

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #3 on: 30 July 2018, 08:12:57 pm »
Have you spoken to the woman? On the phone? Because 99% of so called couples bookings are just the bloke fantasising.

I would send them a message/text now just saying something like "Just want to firm up details of our meet on X day. You haven't stated how long you want to meet for but I'm assuming if we're having dinner first you'll want 4 hours. My price for that is 500 quid. I'll be requiring payment on arrival at the restaurant, please have the money in an envelope."

Don't be disappointed if you never hear from "them" again.

About the breast asymmetry, it's easy for me to say but I would try not to feel self conscious about it. Most men will be delighted that they get to see your boobs full stop. You could even make reference to it in your profile by saying "One of my boobs is bigger than the other so this is good news for guys who love big boobs AND guys who like smaller ones!" Use accurate photos so guys know what they're getting.

I have great big stretch marks and horrible flabby bingo wings - in all my years escorting nobody has ever mentioned it.


We haven't spoken on the phone but we have been texting for days now. I have even been talking with the wife and she has sent me pictures. They want to meet first and have dinner and drinks to make sure we vibe and he said that would be about 2 hours so I am not sure how much time is a lot for an escort. In my opinion I feel like 5 is a lot of time especially with dinner included. I was thinking 2 hours for the hotel is fine. They want to bring toys and vibrators etc which does seem a little intimidating. I just feel like I am going to need 3 or 4 drinks in order to not be shaking from anxiety. I did tell him about the breast asymmetry and he kind of ignored it and just told me that I should feel confident because they chose me. If the first time goes well for me and I decide to continue doing this I just wouldn't want it to be an issue. I am doing this in order to save my money to get a reduction and to fix this problem that I have. New York is kind of expensive so I would have to work a lot.

xw5

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #4 on: 30 July 2018, 09:07:40 pm »
Texting isn't speaking.

Whether or not you 'vibe', you need to get paid before you sit down, never mind start shedding clothes.

Two hours is a reasonable length, but do they know what your boundaries are? Do you know what they are?

If you need to get tipsy to do this, you need to think very carefully about whether it is for you.

Have you seen the main site at https://saafe.info ?

You're in the US, so saying anything that a judge could interpret as 'I will have sex with you for money' is risky.
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

amy

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #5 on: 30 July 2018, 09:10:39 pm »
Texting isn't speaking.

No, it is not - the reason everybody has been so specific about it is because you need to hear her voice to make sure she exists, since there's about a 99% chance that she doesn't.

Plus everything else Ian said.

princessdee

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #6 on: 30 July 2018, 09:35:03 pm »
Texting isn't speaking.

Whether or not you 'vibe', you need to get paid before you sit down, never mind start shedding clothes.

Two hours is a reasonable length, but do they know what your boundaries are? Do you know what they are?

If you need to get tipsy to do this, you need to think very carefully about whether it is for you.

Have you seen the main site at https://saafe.info ?

You're in the US, so saying anything that a judge could interpret as 'I will have sex with you for money' is risky.



I have been thinking about it a lot and I know that I shouldn't be getting drunk or tipsy really because I feel like if I do I am letting my guard down and I don't want to tweak so I don't think that I will be drinking. I have spoken to them about my boundaries and they have told me theirs as well. I guess not speaking over the phone was a mistake so I will definitely speak to them before I meet them tomorrow. I honestly don't know if they would be willing to give me the money as soon as I sit down seeing that they have been telling me that they want to sit down and make sure that it is something that all three of us want before going to the hotel so should I just tell them that I would like payment before we head to the hotel? I know I am not going about it 100% the right way because it is my first time but if there are any other tips or advice that you feel like is important for me to know then please let me know. I want to be prepared and I want to do this as correct as I can.   

amy

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #7 on: 30 July 2018, 09:46:15 pm »
if there are any other tips or advice that you feel like is important for me to know then please let me know. I want to be prepared and I want to do this as correct as I can.

I can't think of any 'other' tips that are anywhere near as important as the ones already posted.

Get the money first. You wouldn't expect a cinema to let you watch half the film to so you can decide whether you like it enough to pay for a ticket. What if you don't?

Don't drink alcohol. You're working and you need to be professional and on the ball. You wouldn't expect your dentist or manicurist to be 'tipsy', would you?

Get the money first.

Know which services you're going to provide and just as important (if not more), which you will not. If you're trying to sell something, people will expect you to know what it is and if you don't they will try to tell you.- in a service industry this means taking advantage of you being unprepared to push your boundaries.

Get the money first. If you don't have it within five or ten minutes max, leave.

Talk, (NOT text, NOT, email) to everyone involved. I suspect you may well have already done this, even if you've been told otherwise.


The only other thing I can think of is make sure somebody knows where you are and is expecting to hear from you. Online dating is a good cover if you don't want to be too candid :).

Mirror

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #8 on: 31 July 2018, 08:57:07 am »
Texting for days = high chance of a timewaster.

Have you checked the hotel reservation actually exists?

You definitely need a phone conversation with both of them.

Seamstress

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #9 on: 31 July 2018, 11:23:29 am »
Given that this has been set up through Seeking Arrangement (SA) rather than through a 'proper' escort site, have you categorically told them you are an escort and that this is a booking?
In Sugar sites the protocol is a bit different, and it's more normal to do a 'meet and greet' before discussing an 'allowance' or 'pay per meet' amount, but you still want to have that agreed and paid before there's any kind of intimacy.
Also, with SA, there will have been nothing as clear as would normally be the case in escort marketing so no detailed physical descriptions, limited photo exposure and - most importantly - no clarity around services. T
The fact that you have been discussing 'boundaries' is good but the fact that this is the terminology being used makes me think you might be at cross-purposes at bit. If they're treating this like a Sugar Arrangement and you're treating this like an escort booking there could be some substantial mismatches in expectations so you need to address that right away. If, having done so, it's the former and you want to go ahead you want to check out the SA forum for how to approach it. If the latter, then the relevant tips have already been covered.
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Lucie268

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #10 on: 31 July 2018, 12:05:30 pm »
Echoing what everyone else has said in that you must insist on hearing both their voices on the phone and agreeing a definitive amount of time/money and receiving it first thing.

Even if they are a genuine couple, I would be wary of making your first foray into escorting with a couple booking, just as there will be more pressure on you and it might be a bit overwhelming (especially if you aren't used to threesomes in your private life). I worry that there is more opportunity for them to take advantage of you especially because you're new. This is just my opinion though, ultimately it's down to you.


barbie88

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #11 on: 31 July 2018, 01:14:06 pm »
I have never done a couple booking hun too much drama and these sound like time wasters to me prob some guy getting off on your texting . Money always up front darling whether they want dinner or not money must be upfront . I always find loads of texting equals time wasting not in all situations but in most xx

Wailing Banshee

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #12 on: 31 July 2018, 11:43:02 pm »
They sound like swingers, not people booking an escort, even if the women exists which I'm not sure she does. My rule about couple bookings is always speak to the woman before wasting any time planning with a man.

I htink you need to perhaps think a bit more about what you are doing, your prices for what services and your screening process and have your first booking with lone man. Couples are twice as complicated so would not reccomend for a first experience. I would also look at other advertising options than a seeking arrangment site which makes things a bt vague and woolly.


K212

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #13 on: 01 August 2018, 05:29:42 am »
You met this “couple / person behind a screen” over a Seeking Arrangement site. Not an escorting site. This usually involves a lot of crossed wires. The person seeking on these sites (them/he/she) think that you are actually genuinely into it. Not so much in it for the money. They usually have low ideas of what you are hoping for in return. If anything.
I find these sites a lot of waste of time, lots of wires crossed between people, and not so much money for the time you put in.
I would leave it and open an escorting profile and see a couple that way.


Like a previous poster said, escorting and presenting yourself honestly whilst doing so is the best way. And many make it lucrative.
A larger lady advertises as BBW
An older lady advertises as MILF or GILF
Everything is a selling point.

Being different also makes you special, so many girls and women looking the same. Can and is boring to men.

Don’t be worried about being judged in the escorting arena. Just have an honest profile and no one can say you mis represented yourself. You could maybe even make it a selling point!
« Last Edit: 01 August 2018, 05:31:33 am by xxxxA »

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: It's my first time...and it is with a couple. Any advice?
« Reply #14 on: 03 August 2018, 07:46:11 pm »
Quote
I don't want to tweak

Are you referring to meth? Definitely don't go to a booking whilst high!

If you are in the US then honest advertising will be very difficult. Are there any US based escort support sites that could help?
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress