SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: ladyjennaj on 14 January 2012, 11:34:23 pm
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Is it wise to become friends with clients? As in, meet them outside of bookings for coffee and such?
I avoid it, because I did it once, and the guy turned out to be a fantasist who thought I'd fall for him :-\ I get countless offers to go for lunchs or have coffees, and I was wondering what you ladies think of it.
:-*
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I have done it many times but once that happens I simply can't give them a service. Then I find I dont have time to meet them for coffee because I am busy seeing paying clients.
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Is it wise to become friends with clients? As in, meet them outside of bookings for coffee and such?
I avoid it, because I did it once, and the guy turned out to be a fantasist who thought I'd fall for him :-\ I get countless offers to go for lunchs or have coffees, and I was wondering what you ladies think of it.
:-*
NO! It's not wise. The only thing in common you both have is the escorting. (he pays, you play, etc)
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I have done it many times but once that happens I simply can't give them a service. Then I find I dont have time to meet them for coffee because I am busy seeing paying clients.
Good post.
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I'm a service provider that charges for my time. I would never meet on a social basis. Men become deluded quickly if you start to blur the line between business and personal, so it's never wise to meet them outside of the professional parameters set, unless he's paying for the social meet of course.
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Oh god I just can't, what is the point?
They only want a freebie and I'd prefer money to be honest.
I did become a friend with a client a long long time ago, but that was very very different. He took me out for lunch, bought me things etc etc. More like a sugar daddy than a client.
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Is it wise to become friends with clients? As in, meet them outside of bookings for coffee and such?
No...I have better things to do with my time!
I have clients that I'd maybe be friends with in real life, but I'd rather have them as a client than a friend. I wouldn't see a client for free for social time, because if they can see you for free, why would they still pay to see you? (ok, for sex, but they would book 30mins/1hr rather than the 2+hrs they might have booked...)
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I have never and would never see a client outside of a booking,no chance.
Have better things to do with my time,simple as that x x x
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No...I have better things to do with my time!
I have clients that I'd maybe be friends with in real life, but I'd rather have them as a client than a friend. I wouldn't see a client for free for social time, because if they can see you for free, why would they still pay to see you? (ok, for sex, but they would book 30mins/1hr rather than the 2+hrs they might have booked...)
I would concurr with this; slightly different but one guy I stupidly saw for free after seeing him a few times (back when I was pretty new to the game) then never paid to see me again! doh!
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very good topic,certainly learnt from my mistakes.... some guys just want a freebee in the end! i do not work as a sex volunteer !
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i do not work as a sex volunteer !
That made me chuckle!
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Thanks for the input girls! :-*
I often find myself tempted, but only because of the solitary nature of the job, you know? I find it hard to meet people outside of work, because I'm always working. ::) Is this stupid? x
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Is it wise to become friends with clients? As in, meet them outside of bookings for coffee and such?
Its a definite NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO from me too.
Guys will flatter you by asking you to be a friend but really they are just massaging your ego so that they can get in your knickers FOC .................... or ..................................... they have no friends themselves and you have to ask yourself why. :(
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Thanks for the input girls! :-*
I often find myself tempted, but only because of the solitary nature of the job, you know? I find it hard to meet people outside of work, because I'm always working. ::) Is this stupid? x
You need to make time for a social life, I fall into the trap of not going out enough, not seeing friends because of the odd hours. The solution is to give yourself time off, or stop offering evening appointments for a while, if that's too much just give yourself 2 nights off each week and join a club or take part in an activity.
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I often find myself tempted, but only because of the solitary nature of the job, you know? I find it hard to meet people outside of work, because I'm always working. ::) Is this stupid? x
It's not stupid - everyone needs friends!
My experiences are the same as the others posted above - if I feel like I like a client as a friend (and it's happened once or twice, back when I was a newbie) then I find it impossible to give them a service so things just disintegrate in awkwardness, cos he feels bad that I don't fancy him enough to shag him for free and then he can't even pay for a booking because I don't want to accept his money because I would find servicing him sooo weird! It's not a good situation.
I'm kinda friends with a long-term reg who is more like a sugar-daddy, but that relationship has very clearly-defined boundaries and now that I'm no longer new to escorting, I know how important those boundaries are for making things work between escort and client. I would never treat him like one of my female friends because that would just be sooo inappropriate. He doesn't want to know about period pains or a blister I got from my running shoes!
I specifically avoid blurring any lines between 'friend' and 'client' because once a client becomes a friend, I become my real self around him and my real self probably doesn't fancy him so my real self isn't going to be his free slutty whore. And he'll probably be really disappointed about that! So a friendship can never actually occur, if you see what I mean? It's literally impossible.
Making friends with other prossies though? It's really essential. It's not easy to find women you really get along with and who you can trust but it's worth persisting because at the end of the day, if I didn't meet up with my friends at least twice a week to drink wine and eat food and laugh about the ridiculousness of everything, I'd go completely insane. I'd probably start trying to lock clients in my flat to force them to talk to me! There'd be all these terrified men locked in my living room trying to climb out the window while I brandish drinking glasses at them and yell, "SHARE SOME WINE WITH ME, LADIES!" ;D
You need to make time for a social life, I fall into the trap of not going out enough, not seeing friends because of the odd hours. The solution is to give yourself time off, or stop offering evening appointments for a while, if that's too much just give yourself 2 nights off each week and join a club or take part in an activity.
Yes, exactly!
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Haha, love the vision of deranged Emily and her 'friends' ;D
I think doing the coffee thing is a bit weird. I can see the appeal - it's a friend who knows you escort and can't judge, plus you like them,but where are the boundaries?
Do you tell them your real name? Do you tell them what you really think of the unusual clients, or maintain the 24/7 cock lover persona? Do you tell them stories from your real life?
It just seems too much like hard work to me......
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Thanks for the input girls! :-*
I often find myself tempted, but only because of the solitary nature of the job, you know? I find it hard to meet people outside of work, because I'm always working. ::) Is this stupid? x
I agree it can be tempting, sometimes I find myself blurting out stuff (nothing I could be identified with but still) and afterwards think.....shit why did I do that?!
And the answer is, if you let it - and I've been pretty guilty of this myself - this job can be extremely isolating. I have yet to find a balance between escorting and my social life, in fact my escorting life is far too predominant right now, and that is one of my priorities this year to sort out the work/life balance.
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Exactly! I find myself feeling quite lonely at times, which is annoying. This isn't my full time job either; I freelance write outside of it, which is another career which requires a certain degree of solitary confinement mentally. I do think I work too much and don't spend enough time with friends and such. I need to get out more :D
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................... want to be last of the day. I didn't think much of it until I realised - he was probably doing it so he could offer me an 'innocent' lift home (I never accepted) or follow me home (shudders)
Some clients are personable and very probably lovely people, but I won't take the risk anymore - I just stick to small talk and boundaries.
I've had these ones too and they freak me out so much that I will not tell ANYONE what time I am finishing now and when I do leave working apartment I have always been very vigilant to watch out and see if anyone is following. Also go a different route or pop into a shop for whatever.
The 'last booking of the day' ones too also try and push their 30 mins to longer ....................... cheapskates !!
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The 'last booking of the day' ones too also try and push their 30 mins to longer ....................... cheapskates !!
Yup I've noticed that with the last booking of the day, like they think you've got nothing better to do than chat all night!
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this job can be extremely isolating.
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this job can be extremely isolating.
It is extremely isolating. Apart from punters, this job gives you ZERO outlet to meet anyone, let alone make a single friend. Its one of the shittest aspects of the job.
That's why.I also said if you let it joanna. This job can be overwhelming if you are not careful and it can become your. whole life and that is not healthy. I am speaking from experience and have not worked it out myself yet.
You have to make a huge effort to keep the friends you have and make new ones both in and outside of the escort community. That's why forums like this are vital.
I'm speaking to myself as much.as you Joanna!
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Thanks girlies! So true :-*
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It's easy enough to get another part time job as well even if volunteering to go to the hospital shop for patients. You will soon meet people.x
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I think the whole point of my friends is that I can relax around them and say the first (daft) thing that pops into my head. I definitely DEFINITELY dont want to be that relaxed around Clients. Quite apart from the fact that I dont want them knowing all the details of my private life I also think it might ruin the illusion - you know - that I spend all day lounging around in silk lingerie, painting my nails and aching for them to call me when the truth is that my uber glamorous life consists of Asda, housework and ironing in an ever-repeating cycle...
I have an OH who doesnt like hearing the details of my job but gives me support in all other areas of my life and I have dogs who listen to everything and never ever repeat a word :) I also have girlfriends who listen and try to understand what its like to do this job - and the lovely ladies here on SAAFE who always listen and always understand!
I love your posts and think you'd be a great friend and ally so I know that you'll find it easy :)
R xx
R xx
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This forum has definitely helped, because it reminds me that I'm not alone in this. You ladies are a great support. Sometimes I just need to talk to someone who knows what I do; I don't know why :-\ I think I just need to spend more time doing normal things, like having lunch with friends, because it has kinda taken over my life. ::)
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This forum has definitely helped, because it reminds me that I'm not alone in this. You ladies are a great support. Sometimes I just need to talk to someone who knows what I do; I don't know why :-\ I think I just need to spend more time doing normal things, like having lunch with friends, because it has kinda taken over my life. ::)
Exactly how I'm feeling LadyJ
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If a client asks me if they can take me for a coffee or out for a meal, I say "Of course that would be lovely, how long do you want to book me for?" It usually works well for me.
xx
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- this job can be extremely isolating. I have yet to find a balance between escorting and my social life, in fact my escorting life is far too predominant right now, and that is one of my priorities this year to sort out the work/life balance.
True true. I will not do this job f/t ever again after getting messed up over it last time. I like seeing my friends occasionally, meeting new people, making plans and actually turning up. There are very few jobs in this world that take up all of your waking hours and still expect you to work early mornings and weekends.
Ps. If a client were your real friend, he would pay for your time.
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Agreed. I have also found that certain clients who DO take you out for coffee, usually delude themselves and convince themselves that they are, or will be, having a special relationship with you. These guys usually turn really nasty, and threaten all sorts of things. :-\
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Has been an interesting conversation to read. I had been thinking of seeing one of my chaps on a friends basis as it suits me but I'm re-evaluating the idea now.
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Likewise :D I was going to meet a guy for coffee yesterday, hence why I started this thread, which has quickly changed my mind, phew!