When you are new, you don't know how the escorting world works. You have no idea how to dress, act or behave. It isn't like a one night stand where you have progressively built up to it over the course of an evening, or got drunk and lost your inhibitions with someone you felt attracted to or desired to have intercourse with. Even if you have been involved in activities like swinging (ie being in a very sexualised environment from the off) or meeting up with randoms off these internet sites like adultfriendfriender or whatver, there is an element of sexual arousal on your part.
There is nothing to prepare you for sitting opposite someone where you know that ultimately you are being paid to fuck them later.
My first booking as an escort, I turned up in a skirt suit (I once was told thats how to look presentable on outcalls) and stood in a corner of the hotel room shaking. I was a real slapper before I started taking money for it, but I never been in a situation where I was involved in a business transaction for it. I also needed to pay my rent and at the time, that ?250 was my rent. The man clearly could see branches, I was that green, and just told me to leave with the money sans intercourse. The first time I had actual sex for money was in a Hilton suite; I never let on that I had never fucked for money before him.
My point is those were two 'first' times, and both very different, where I approached them very differently as an individual. The 'first' first time, I was terrified at how reception had looked at me, how he looked at me, every tiny little noise, what if he became aggressive, fixated on how much taller and more physically powerful he was compared to me. I was terrified he would start making a scene, that someone would find out what was happening. He could have really exploited those nerves and used that to his full advantage. To this day I still think how lucky I was - I walked out with a month's rent and he didn't even get sex out of it. For that, I was the exception, not the rule, and I'm grateful for it.
The second 'first' time, when I actually followed through with it, I had done my research, stopped panicking over everything, had a triple vodka and coke before getting my taxi to the hotel... walked in and pretty much jumped the bloke. I never realised at the time I was developing the healthiest WG MO by always being in control of the activity at all times (and by that I mean straight sex no chaser).
We, as women, generally aren't socialised into that kind of sexual experience where we have to take that stance of knowing where the exit is, keeping an eye on our bags/money, often leading the client around the bedroom in such a way that we always have quickest means to a bolthole. We, as women, might sit opposite a man on a date and think over dinner "I'm totally going to fuck you later" but it isn't an obligation or requirement of your presence being there. He is not sat there with the actual expectation he is going to get sex out of it (likely hopeful but it isn't a promise). I'm not saying that as a result of taking money every client will get sex as I'm sure we've all handed back a fee to a client who presents himself in such a manner that it would be unsafe to be alone with him - I am talking about your average run of the mill garden variety client who likes kissing, blowjobs and a bit of doggy before toddling off on his merry way with no hassles or drama. It is an unnatural situation for many of us and until you have been in that situation you don't know how you will react.
For all any of us know it could easily have been the scenario of other pressures (financial) that came to light, or a rabbit trapped in headlights effect. We all make mistakes, the important thing is you live to learn from it, take words of advice from people who have been around the block a few times, brush yourself off and don't make the same mistakes again.
Topic: I had a horrible night and worried (Read 6689 times)