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Author Topic: Humiliation (couple of questions)  (Read 3527 times)

BubblyBee

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Humiliation (couple of questions)
« on: 22 July 2010, 08:34:15 pm »
At the moment my list of services on AW seems quite plain, I wont do bareback or OWO as I value my health too much and while I have had anal sex before I think my behind could use a little more practise before I could commit to doing it professionally. I would like to expand what I do, even added a massage course to what I'll be doing at college in September and while looking at the list of services I came across humiliation (giving) . I decided to look it up and from what I've read it looks like something I could do.
My inner b*tch has been caged for too long and giving humiliation does look like it would be a productive way of letting her out. I'm not comfortable with the higher end of domination/bdsm as I'd be terrified that my lack of experience would lead to a client being seriously hurt or worse. Just wondering a couple of things first

1. Do I need any special equipment (as I'm still new to this business I don't have the means yet to buy whips/etc..)?

2. The things I've read don't specify whether or not the client will be looking for sex after being humiliated. I have read about the possibility of them wanting permission to masturbate or serve my needs. Is this more down to the individual client and what we agree to before hand?

3. Do any of you include humiliation in your services and would you be able to help me in regards to pricing? AW has my rates for escort services listed on them but would it be fair to charge the client the same if they are only looking for humiliation and not penetrative/oral sex?

Again I thank you all for reading and for any responses I get.

Lucy Chambers

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Re: Humiliation (couple of questions)
« Reply #1 on: 22 July 2010, 08:49:32 pm »
CP and humiliation are two different services. Verbal humiliation needs no equipment, just a healthy imagination. CP requires rather more equipment, a crop, cane and paddle being your main tools, I also have nipple clamps, candles, and a blindfold.

The clients who I see for verbal humiliation very rarely culminate in sex, its always hand relief. I don't charge extra for humiliation or CP as I have one fixed price which is for my time, and I enjoy the relatively mild stuff, it makes a pleasant change. Get looking online for ideas and inspiration..I think one site was called kinky kicks.

If you are feeling a bit unsure, start the session by asking the client to take you through, step by step, his fantasy. You will find that quite often they turn up with a script anyway, which is brilliant as you can then refer to it while they are blindfolded or whatever. Start in whichever way suits you, but be careful. There have been a few notable accidents in the media recently.
« Last Edit: 22 July 2010, 08:51:21 pm by Lucy Chambers »

*amber*

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Re: Humiliation (couple of questions)
« Reply #2 on: 22 July 2010, 09:44:58 pm »
I think personally I would put on my ads if I was you that you are so far unexperienced in this situation but open minded

Violette

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Re: Humiliation (couple of questions)
« Reply #3 on: 22 July 2010, 10:12:42 pm »
When I first started off, I asked the clients to send me by email a script. Which helped me get an idea of what they wanted, and gave me enough time to practice, and or look up other stuff to add to the scene.

Anika Mae

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Re: Humiliation (couple of questions)
« Reply #4 on: 22 July 2010, 11:45:28 pm »
AW has my rates for escort services listed on them but would it be fair to charge the client the same if they are only looking for humiliation and not penetrative/oral sex?

Yes, it would be! The money is for sexytimes and they're getting off on it at least as much as the vanilla guys. By charging the same rate you also don't have to worry about how they want to finish, or even if they decide 10 minutes in that they don't like being shouted at and would rather have a cuddle and a blow job.

Lucy said it, but I'm not sure it's clear. CP is corporal punishment; spanking, whipping etc., and as she says it's not the same as humiliation, so you don't need to worry about getting equipment or causing damage. It's common enough to be into both, but they should mention that when they enquire and then you can decide if it's something you want to explore. You might find some humiliation scenes involve some mild CP, like making him play a naughty schoolgirl who needs a spanking or something.

Humiliation can involve some equipment like collar and leash, frilly things for forced feminisation, even a cage. You'll be all right with just your inner bitch to start with, though.

Even if you're not going to do any physically risky stuff, read up on good BDSM practice. You should still be setting a safeword so your client has a simple way out in case it gets to much and messes with his head. You should also be aware that as a top you may be uncomfortable with things your bottom wants you to do, and you shouldn't feel like you have to go along with those even if he's eager to take it.

pandora

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Re: Humiliation (couple of questions)
« Reply #5 on: 23 July 2010, 10:43:40 am »
I am far from an expert in these matter but when I had one of these bookings I said that I found it fun but was not that experienced.

Experienced? Never done one! So I looked on the AW erotica section where they write stories.  A lot of them are free but I invested a whole 50p of my AW credits in a story from "BabeInk" and found my storyline. You just put "humiliation" in the search bar and Robert is your proverbial relative.

Still do not get it though. Rather have sex.

BubblyBee

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Re: Humiliation (couple of questions)
« Reply #6 on: 23 July 2010, 11:19:52 am »
Thankyou all for the responses, your help is just wonderful  :)

Will be looking for the story later today. Got myself a little check list

1. Research, research and a bit more research
2. Add that I am inexperienced but interested and open minded
3. Discuss what it is the client is looking for (hopefully getting them to provide a script)
4. Either prior to the appointment or at the beginning of the booking, discuss a safe word with the client so that they can stop if they need to (or in future cases where I have some equipment like a gag, some kind of signal).

Is there anything I have missed?

Light role play CP is something I will be looking into as well. Always though of myself as having a vivid imagination (and a good poker face to keep from laughing, unless it's something they want) and to be honest, dressing up and assuming the role of a strict boss/school mistress/nun/etc.. has always been a little bit of a fantasy for me so hopefully I'd enjoy it just as much as the client, which I would hope brings them back time and time again.

Lucy Chambers

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Re: Humiliation (couple of questions)
« Reply #7 on: 23 July 2010, 04:55:08 pm »
Sounds like you have it covered, and from what you have said you will be excellent. The only thing I would add is if you want to really get into it, look out for a professional domme, they sometimes take apprentices.

xw5

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Re: Humiliation (couple of questions)
« Reply #8 on: 23 July 2010, 07:09:04 pm »
The other other thing to add is that some ProDommes have major league attitudes about having nothing to do with prostitution (which is laughable, but don't laugh...)
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

Lucy Chambers

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Re: Humiliation (couple of questions)
« Reply #9 on: 23 July 2010, 07:28:51 pm »
The other other thing to add is that some ProDommes have major league attitudes about having nothing to do with prostitution (which is laughable, but don't laugh...)

I am laughing. Pot, kettle... :D

Anika Mae

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Re: Humiliation (couple of questions)
« Reply #10 on: 24 July 2010, 12:19:03 pm »
The only other thing I can think to add is that specialist stuff lends itself to timewasty conversations. You can't completely guard against it, but don't be talked into describing a scene unless you're being paid by the minute! Don't list the stuff you do either, unless it's a list of things you're particularly interested in. If someone wants to know if you'll suit each other he should say what he's looking for and you tell him if you'll do it. He shouldn't be getting porny or excited while he's talking about it either.

The good thing about AW here is that if you get someone who's trying to steer the conversation to something exciting you can suggest that he books a phone sex session, and then you can talk about it in as much sordid detail as he wants.