I've had HPV, possibly still do.
It is only picked up when you have a smear, there are no symptoms, and you can have had only one partner and still have it.
There's no blame to lay.
The body tends to clear it up itself, occasionally, gynies burn off the lesions (which is painless)
I think you're over-reacting big time towards your partner, but maybe she didn't tell you in the right way.