Author Topic: How To Tell If Clients Are Bi?. (Read 3327 times)

RR · « **Reply #15 on:** 25 June 2013, 02:08:35 pm »

Quote from: Jan10 on 24 June 2013, 09:37:58 pm

Quote from: meetingdiversity on 24 June 2013, 08:57:00 pm
Quote from: Jan10 on 24 June 2013, 09:12:16 am
I had a client who told me after I had given him oral uncovered that he had been with a men. I no longer offer OWO. It's wrong of me to make assumptions about him possibly carrying something due to being with men I just don't want to risk it. I stupidly believed that because he was seeing me he wasn't into men . I felt like kicking him where the sun doesn't shine!

I just was thinking the bum is full of germs if they do it. I never think during bookings as is all about having fun. I offer owo and ow depending on thier hygene.

I know and a risky thing to do if they don't wear condoms when doing it.

As a woman who is only straight for pay, I can assure you that not all men who have sex with men indulge in bareback sex. Bluntly you only know what a client chooses to tell you about their sexual past, so equally they could have been screwing every single woman before me without protection.

I'm not even going to touch upon how homophobic I find certain comments and assumptions.

Quote from: xw5 on 24 June 2013, 11:13:55 pm

Quote from: meetingdiversity on 24 June 2013, 08:57:00 pm
I just was thinking the bum is full of germs if they do it.

a) It's oral sex, not anal, that's the near universal act for sex between men

b) What are you doing with their bums? (Also known as 'why do you care?') If it's licking them, using a dam is a sensible idea regardless...

If I could +10000000 this, I would.

Nobody Interesting · « **Reply #16 on:** 26 June 2013, 12:20:41 pm »

Quote from: RR on 25 June 2013, 02:08:35 pm

I'm not even going to touch upon how homophobic I find certain comments and assumptions.

That ^

In my friends circle, my bi male mates are VERY careful, unlike the hetrosexuals.

Jan10 · « **Reply #17 on:** 26 June 2013, 09:06:36 pm »

Quote from: RR on 25 June 2013, 02:08:35 pm

Quote from: Jan10 on 24 June 2013, 09:37:58 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 24 June 2013, 08:57:00 pm
Quote from: Jan10 on 24 June 2013, 09:12:16 am
I had a client who told me after I had given him oral uncovered that he had been with a men. I no longer offer OWO. It's wrong of me to make assumptions about him possibly carrying something due to being with men I just don't want to risk it. I stupidly believed that because he was seeing me he wasn't into men . I felt like kicking him where the sun doesn't shine!

I just was thinking the bum is full of germs if they do it. I never think during bookings as is all about having fun. I offer owo and ow depending on thier hygene.

I know and a risky thing to do if they don't wear condoms when doing it.

As a woman who is only straight for pay, I can assure you that not all men who have sex with men indulge in bareback sex. Bluntly you only know what a client chooses to tell you about their sexual past, so equally they could have been screwing every single woman before me without protection.

I'm not even going to touch upon how homophobic I find certain comments and assumptions.

Quote from: xw5 on 24 June 2013, 11:13:55 pm
Quote from: meetingdiversity on 24 June 2013, 08:57:00 pm
I just was thinking the bum is full of germs if they do it.

a) It's oral sex, not anal, that's the near universal act for sex between men

b) What are you doing with their bums? (Also known as 'why do you care?') If it's licking them, using a dam is a sensible idea regardless...

If I could +10000000 this, I would.

The man who told me he has sex with men was not gay so keep your assumptions about homophobia to yourself! I asked if he wore protection when having sex with other men, he said no, never. No where did I say that ALL men indulge in bareback sex so that's another assumption on your part! As the OP was referring to her clients who are male I chose to address it based on males only too. I am quite aware that men will have bareback sex with women and only tell me what they want to. But the subject was about men not women,gay men etc.

Aussie Male Escort · « **Reply #18 on:** 26 June 2013, 10:51:13 pm »

Expressing a desire not to see male clients who have previously had sex with other men and not giving any reason beyond bums are full of germs does fit the definition of prejudice (Preconceived opinion not based on reason or experience). Saying you want to kick men in the ass when you find out they've had sex with other men doesn't sound great either.

I don't mean to say anyone who's posted on this thread is necessarily homophobic as I don't know any of you well enough to say what you're like but please consider that your opinions can sound bigoted if you don't back them up with any facts, reasons etc. After this thread came up I went on the Healthcare and the LGBT community wikipedia page and googled epidemiology for chlamydia and gonorrhea comparisons between what the epedemiologists call "men who have sex with men" (msm) and the general population, the cdc website etc and confirmed what I'd already heard from other sources before- men who have sex with men as a very broad category do have higher rates of infection with STIs. It's more complicated than that though.

Within that whole msm category there are high risk groups who I avoid like young guys who mention drugs or bareback and these kind of guys rarely contact me anyway. The majority of my msm clients more fit a demographic where they're married or identify as mainly straight with a fantasy about sex with men that they indulge occasionally and very carefully and safely with male escorts. Most of whom I suspect are like me and do everything as safely as possible because they're a lot more aware of the risks than the general population.. I'd say I'm in a much lower risk category for catching anything than most msm and possibly a lot of straight people too.

RR · « **Reply #19 on:** 27 June 2013, 04:06:18 pm »

Quote from: Jan10 on 26 June 2013, 09:06:36 pm

The man who told me he has sex with men was not gay so keep your assumptions about homophobia to yourself! I asked if he wore protection when having sex with other men, he said no, never. No where did I say that ALL men indulge in bareback sex so that's another assumption on your part! As the OP was referring to her clients who are male I chose to address it based on males only too. I am quite aware that men will have bareback sex with women and only tell me what they want to. But the subject was about men not women,gay men etc.

Gay, bi or just curious, the comments are still homophobic as you made your comment solely based upon the fact your male client had been sexually active with another man.

Given that several other people have pointed out that your comments can, and have been, construed as homophobic/biphobic (if we want to get into semantics), then I don't think its just me making the assumption that your comments are offensive.

Oh, and it wasn't just your comments I pointed out as being offensive, but also the OP's comments. As one of the moderators pointed out, its none of her business how a client identifies his sexual orientation. Whoever he had sexual contact with before me is a moot point as for the length of time he is with me he is engaging in heterosexual activity.

As you clearly stated "It's wrong of me to make assumptions about him possibly carrying something due to being with men I just don't want to risk it", it was simply put to you that you know nothing about anyone's sexual history, but you appear to make a judgement about someone solely based on his activity with other men.

Clearly you are aware that your comments could be, and were, perceived to be offensive towards members of the LGBT community. So no, as a member of that community, I won't be keeping my 'assumptions' to myself as I don't see why anyone should be spoken about in a disrespectful, discriminatory manner. Instead of taking some responsibility for the comments made, you roll your eyes. Three other people have pointed out exactly the same thing so its clearly not just me finding your comments out of order.

xw5 · « **Reply #20 on:** 27 June 2013, 04:29:09 pm »

With a reminder to everyone to be nice to each other...

Everyone has different boundaries, and if you have ones along the lines of 'I wouldn't do X with them if they are/do Y', you are going to be much happier assuming they all are/do Y, and most of them aren't telling you.

Jan10 · « **Reply #21 on:** 28 June 2013, 08:46:48 am »

Just as some women refuse to see men that have barebacked other women, I will refuse to offer oral without to men who have had anal sex uncovered with men or women. If that is seen as a homophobic statement to you or others, so be it, no one is precious in this world. That is my opinion and choice to make just as it is other peoples choice to exclude people from their list because of the country they come from, the race they are, the people they have sex with that offer x,y,z services that they don't agree with.

The reason I said I felt like kicking this man not all men is because I asked him before the service to have a shower, he made it clear to me he had had a shower. Before doing any thing with him I noticed a nasty smell coming from his privates for all I know he could have had sex with someone and not washed himself hoping to pass something onto me. I took him to the shower and gave him a thorough wash as I was not happy with the smell down there. That is how we got into the conversation about him having sex with men. The problem was not him having sex with men it was expecting OWO when he knew he did this and not being clean after doing it.

xw5 · « **Reply #22 on:** 28 June 2013, 09:48:33 am »

It's entirely ok to not want to OWO with someone who's had bareback anal. The problems start with the assumptions that..

.. bisexual men will have done (as I say, they are very very likely to have OWO'd with another man, but quite possibly never have had anal with them, never mind without a condom)

.. anyone would tell you, especially if they think they won't get OWO or anything else as a result. (In the same way, you probably don't come out as being an escort to everyone, because of the reaction you might get.)

So if you want to avoid any surprises, you need to treat everyone the same, assuming that they have had it. Especially if they're not bisexual, as it happens: in the UK, most anal sex is between men and women, and usually doesn't involve condoms.

Smelly men come in all sexualities.

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: How To Tell If Clients Are Bi?. (Read 3327 times)

RR

Re: How To Tell If Clients Are Bi?.

Nobody Interesting

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Jan10

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Aussie Male Escort

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RR

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xw5

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Jan10

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xw5

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