I used to do escorting last year. I recently got fired, and I had no choice but to go back into it for money. The difference is that now I have a boyfriend, and we've been together for 9 months. He knows I used to do escorting last year, but he would leave me if he found out I'm doing it again.

I'm terrified he gets suspicious. I am being weary of how I spend my money, because he knows I don't have an "income" so if I were to suddenly have money, it would be a red flag. I make comments about how broke I am sometimes to make it more believable.

Today I'm seeing a client at a hotel. I'll be checking in. When I arranged this with the client a few weeks ago, I thought my boyfriend would be at work. Turns out he's going to be in walking distance of the hotel I have chosen. I told him I'd be in that area, in case someone sees me etc. Now I find out that he'll be in that area too!

How do I go about this? The client has paid already, I can't cancel and I have a booking with the hotel. I know that I can still go through with this and not be caught, if we do it discreetly. I'm just still very stressed, because I love my boyfriend. I do some form of compartmentalisation when I escort. Like I'm two different people, so it helps me go through with it.

I'm scared he's going to want to go for lunch when I am busy. The times clash, majorly. I can't suddenly tell him I won't be there. He's paranoid of me cheating in any case, so if I abruptly cancel my plans he's going to be curious as to why. I am thinking of perhaps shifting the time of my appointment, but the hotel room has a standard check-in time, and my client is flying to another city later on. So it's all perfectly timed.

It just feels like this is too close for comfort. I'm scared that he'll notice something about me, or see something or even see me. I'm most afraid that someone sees me IN the hotel. Even though it's a random hotel. I'm just paranoid. I haven't done this before. Not like this. Not with a boyfriend.

How do you guys keep it quiet? How do you do it? How do you lie and where do you say you are when your partner asks?

He's paranoid of me cheating in any case

Why is he paranoid about this? If he is checking up on you and making you feel like you have to account for your every move (and this was from before you started escorting again) then this has some shades of abuse.

Leaving that aside, presuming you are wanting a monogamous commitment from him, and vice versa, I think you're being dishonest with a man you say you love. If you can't be honest with him, what future does your relationship have?

In terms of what you can do, have you considered working in a different town or city for now until you've worked out what to do?
What is your long term plan? Are you looking for another civvy job as well as escorting, with a view to stopping escorting again?

This sounds like a stressful situation, that could only get worse.

I'd not recommend hiding it from a partner.

Other people I say I'm working, that's it. Some know, some don't.

Do you live together?

I really don't know how to advise you on this. I mean, I may have ideas on how to be discreet with your work but this is more in the realm of relationship advice.

As for that, I would advise against having a life in which you are doing a lot of lying and sneaking about. If he were utterly clueless and oblivious, that would be potentially possible. But this guy is suspicious of you cheating. And to be fair, he seems to have reason.

I don't think this is going to work.

In the short term, how plausible would it be to say that you're talking to the hotel about working there?

In the long term, what they said. There are several other threads about this - try doing a search.

As XW5 said there are tons of threads about this already including this one:

http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=24766.msg190143#msg190143

I really feel for you, but I agree with the other ladies.

This is a solitary existence unless you have a partner who supports your line of work.

Relationship - wise, I couldn't be with someone who didn't support me as I'm too independent to keep other people happy at the expense of my own personal happiness.

I am aware that at any time I could be 'outed'; I have left a trail of my life as a prostitute and did so the minute I put pictures of myself online and advertised sexual services.