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Author Topic: How much do you divulge ?  (Read 3289 times)

-xhannahx-

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How much do you divulge ?
« on: 28 November 2014, 11:00:58 pm »
Hi, my name is Hannah and I am an overthinker ;)

There is no right or wrong answer, I'm not looking for advice I am just curious as to how much you divulge to clients? (I really don't like the term client, it's so formal).  Do you create an entirely different life ? When you are asked slightly personal questions, do you lie, tell the truth or simply say that you aren't comfortable with discussing the topic ? When you meet someone very regularly do you feel an obligation to answer their questions or do you set a clear boundary and let them know that it's not up for discussion?  How do you do this with someone that you have been meeting for a long period of time very regularly without making a big deal out of it and causing tension between you ?

I am often asked about my relationship status/family situation and I avoid the question, I'm not precious about the topic I just find it a turn off. Do you discuss such things during a session?

I find it really uncomfortable when asked for example if I can be added on facebook, give out my personal number/email. How do you say no to someone you meet very regularly without sounding like a complete twat ?

This isn't really a topic that I lose sleep over or anything but avoiding the crossing of a boundary is something that I have to deal with quite often.  Being the mature woman that I am I usually do so by avoiding the issue and client completely haha.

I am interested as to how you lovely ladies handle things ?



Kay

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Re: How much do you divulge ?
« Reply #1 on: 28 November 2014, 11:20:06 pm »
Thinking about it, I probably react differently depending on who's asking. I'm mostly asked fairly innocuous questions that I don't mind answering. I think experienced punters know not to cross certain boundaries, because they wouldn't want us to probe into their lives. If a new client asks something a bit cheeky, I just give a generic answer or a plain yes or no. If they pushed it, I'd make clear it wasn't an appropriate topic of conversation and not see them again.

One of my regulars I swop an email with most days, but it's just chit-chat and schedules - he's never asked about my personal life and I would never ask about his, though we've both obviously deduced a certain amount about each other.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

Aqua Allegoria

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Re: How much do you divulge ?
« Reply #2 on: 28 November 2014, 11:54:26 pm »
Hey

There's been a thread up a while there about creating a "persona", can't remember exactly though.

It really depends on the type of the client, the question asked and the WAY it is asked. Boundary pushers are awful but now I find them easy to deal with. I had a really bad experience once and now I can spot them and eliminate them. Lol. It's really all about how you establish your boundaries and once you have them established you just make sure they are respected.

Obviously no, no and once again no to your personal Facebook and such. Even to your best regular ever. There's no harm in saying no if it's said nicely. A normal guy will understand. Hell, a normal client won't ask for your personal Facebook.

Cheeky questions can be dealt with simply with cheekiness. Mostly when they ask me something too cheeky I flash a big smile and say "you know you won't get an answer to that" or I just return the question "and how about you?" I do it in a laughing joking way but clearly show they are pushing too far. Stop.

With your regulars you develop a sort of intimacy that's a bit different. My regulars know I love cooking. So one of them always asks what my next big menu is:) that's fun, we talk food half the booking:)

victoryrose

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Re: How much do you divulge ?
« Reply #3 on: 29 November 2014, 12:41:35 am »
I may or may not change this quite soon, but my profile is the kind that if you knew me in real life and were purposefully looking for me, it would be obvious which is mine. People ask me what I'm studying as I tell them I'm a student (which I am - I don't say it for marketing, it's just honesty so they know I won't be available weekdays until the evening), and I won't respond to that part of the message as it tends to be in the first message they send me and it's honestly a bit too nosy, it could easily be a fellow student trying to figure out who I am (which shockingly I've already had in my two-three months of working - so I'm now very wary about young guys and people asking about uni). I will tell them at the booking though, although if they piece a couple of things together it is easy to find out which course I'm on and there's only about 30 of us so... Yeah, you see why I'm paranoid! I actually am quite worried that should I end up with some kind of stalker client, it is far too easy to find out who I am, and I don't use face pictures etc.

I had my very first client ask me for my real name ! Obviously I was a bit thrown off. I lied about it and gave him a nickname I'm known by on one of the sites I visit. I don't know why they think they're entitled to this stuff. You're paying for my body and what I'm willing to do with it, not my personal details (which I've already provided to AW to get verified, I think that's quite enough!). I only ask them of you if I need to screen you - which as I do outcalls only is fair to ask! I'll say it again, punters love to forget how much danger I'm putting myself in by going to their house alone. The risk is not equal, they need to stop acting like it is.

I think it's easier to deal with this kind of thing the longer you've been in the industry. It's power play and a form of manipulation and I'm not having it. I don't care if they want to be friendly with me, you can be friendly up until a certain point. I could not care less if it loses me business from time to time, it's far better to be safe and 100% comfortable.

mature helen

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Re: How much do you divulge ?
« Reply #4 on: 29 November 2014, 08:18:59 am »
I have found its generally the same questions clients ask

Do you live here?
Are you married?
Been doing this long?
Busy today?
Can I take you out?
And last but not least...Will you lick my balls?

I don't mind generalised chit chat but what I've found is as Ive matured its the client who likes to talk about themselves, they tell me about their marriages, holidays, affairs, kids, jobs, its possibly because I'm a "known stranger" and I'm very often older than them so they feel relaxed telling me all sorts of things, its no problem of course I don't even ask for a real name when they book just a name they want to be known by so all I have is their phone number and that's how I like to keep it.
So no problems here with men over stepping boundaries I just flash them the "look" and they stop. lol
« Last Edit: 29 November 2014, 09:14:04 am by mature helen »

The_Lynx

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Re: How much do you divulge ?
« Reply #5 on: 29 November 2014, 09:32:18 am »
I'm fairly open about random aspects of my life. I live in a tiny town and I show my face openly on my profile, so I'm out about my job for all intent and purpose.

With that said, hardly anyone asks. People just don't care, in my experience. I've never been asked to add anyone on Facebook, I am yet to have anyone try to ask me out, etc.

The most common questions seem to be about how long I've been whoring, and about logistics of my relationship, should it somehow come up in the conversation. Most people seem very surprised that not all WGs are single.

luciefate

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Re: How much do you divulge ?
« Reply #6 on: 29 November 2014, 11:24:49 am »
Hi Hannah,

I just tell the truth when I'm asked. I hate lying anyway plus I'd get myself all in a muddle! I think guys just want to know we have normal (ish!) lives like they do.

I have no deep dark secrets apart from this job so it's lovely to be able to have a frank chat with clients. They're often interested in how I came to be in the business and where I lived before and I have no problem with sharing.

The only people who ask stupid probing questions are like the so-called celebrity footballer who called me last night and he asked me some pretty irritating questions so I obviously put him straight and DIDN'T see him. He actually admitted to being a dickhead, so I've saved his number as that so I can avoid him!! See below:

'So what's a gorgeous looking girl like you doing on AW?' (Errr...not too smart, is he??)

 'Why won't you come and see me? I'm really rich and going to be famous soon and live in a luxury apartment, even though I'm a dickhead.' (I'm just grabbing my purse now....NOT!)

'So you used to be a professional (previous job) so I suppose you must really love this then, right?' (No, I gave up my professional career, which I hated to do something else I equally hate! Hang on, you're a self-confessed dickhead so does that mean you have no brains either in there??)

'I want to know more about you, tell me. Are you not in Norwich, I thought you were?' (No brain AND can't read - case closed).

So, Hannah, for me it's more a case of not what I divulge but to WHOM I divulge it too.  8) 8) 8)

-xhannahx-

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Re: How much do you divulge ?
« Reply #7 on: 29 November 2014, 09:21:25 pm »
Thank you, I appreciate the replies :).

I am also very open and honest about most things which I think is what leads to slightly more probing questions being asked.

I will adopt the look and cheeky but polite reply to alleviate any possible tension when declining to answer haha.

Thank you ladies !




TheLittleMatchGirl

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Re: How much do you divulge ?
« Reply #8 on: 30 November 2014, 11:54:29 am »
I have found its generally the same questions clients ask

Do you live here?
Are you married?
Been doing this long?
Busy today?
Can I take you out?
And last but not least...Will you lick my balls?

I don't mind generalised chit chat but what I've found is as Ive matured its the client who likes to talk about themselves, they tell me about their marriages, holidays, affairs, kids, jobs, its possibly because I'm a "known stranger" and I'm very often older than them so they feel relaxed telling me all sorts of things, its no problem of course I don't even ask for a real name when they book just a name they want to be known by so all I have is their phone number and that's how I like to keep it.
So no problems here with men over stepping boundaries I just flash them the "look" and they stop. lol

Hilarious and so true. Another one (probably due to my age 26) "do your parents know?" And "what do they say"
*** I can resist everything but temptation***