SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: MissLeeMiss on 15 April 2015, 11:19:12 pm
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Hi everyone! Please be gentle!
Some context. I'm in my late 20s, live in London and have a full-time job. I come from an ethnic/religious minority background but my family are more 'traditional' than 'strict'.
My flatmate recently announced that she's leaving. She was great, but it's made me realise how much I'd love to have the flat for myself (no more sharing a kitchen, waiting for the shower to become free etc.) With my current salary I'd have to find a new flatmate soon. If I was earning a little more...
I'm disillusioned with dating (to put it mildly). I don't want the emotional involvement of a fling/affair, but for the first time in my life I'm just craving sex (frankly).
The more I think about it the more I like the idea. I just want to make a little extra money and have some sex and a bit of an adventure. Is it possible to find these things through escorting or am I just being naive?
I'm not planning on working in a parlour. Perhaps I'd set up an account on a site and meet random guys as and when.
I'm not expecting (or wanting) to meet especially 'sexy' or even attractive guys. I just feel like meeting some random (nice) guys and being a bit crazy.
If I go through with it, will I regret it? Is anyone on this site in a similar position? i.e. escorting for fun and a little excitement, or is this a hopeless fantasy?
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I don't regret escorting but each circumstance personalities differ. So some one else cannot say whether you will regret it as usually they are held accountable. Like you hear well you said this and it didn't work. Usually they blame. You will need to be responsible in escorting not sure the term crazy you meant but. Escorting suits me very well.
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Thanks. You're right, I guess I won't know until I've tried. I think I'm just excited by the (obviously very secret) fantasy of anonymous sex and wanting other opinions.
Do you find escorting sexually fulfilling?
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Why not 'suck it and see'?! One advantage of being an indie is that you only see who you want, when you want. I would only say that no matter how rigorous your screening is, a). you're not going to be attracted to all your clients, and b). quite a lot of the sex might not be fantastic.
Also, think about the practicalities, e.g. is your flat suitable for in-calls or would you have to be out-call only?
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'Suck it and see'. I guess you're right and I'm just procrastinating, enjoying the fantasy but scared of jumping in..
My flat's discreet to the point where one male visitor every few days wouldn't attract attention (though a stream of them would).
I did think of renting a hotel room for a day, even though it would mean having to see a few guys in order to make a profit. My fear is that I'd have a horrible experience first time and straight away have to see someone else. Again, I like the idea but going through with it is a scary prospect!
Thanks for the replies!
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Thing is, you can take one booking and find out if it's something you want to pursue. If your screening is good enough you will get someone who will be understanding of you being new and you don't have to go through with anything if you change your mind, if you love it you can continue.
Key facts - always remember money first (read saafe.info) and be careful, new girls are usually the ones most likely to hear from the piss takers/problematic clients so just look after yourself and screen every single time!!
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Everyone is different and we all do it for different reasons. My circumstances are different to yours but I can see some parallels.
I have a full time day job too, so escorting for me is just a sideline. I get to pick and choose who I see, and just as importantly if I see them a second time. Only doing a couple or three meets a week, often with repeat clients that I like, means I can relax and enjoy myself. I can see if I was doing this full time I would soon burn out.
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I do this full time, but started part time. For me, the sex is completely different than real life sex. It's not a good or bad thing, it just is. I don't get excited when a hot client walks in or disappointed when an unattractive, old or overweight one is behind the door. I'm focused on playing the role they want and very rarely get into it enough or get out of my mind enough to enjoy the sex. It's very much a job. Even with regulars, the vast majority aren't fun for me and most have no idea how to please a woman but it's really good money and gives me a lot of free time, and it's the best job I've ever had. I've had a few guys I enjoyed, but it's still completely different than being yourself with someone, feeling like it's ok for them to focus on your pleasure, and having real intimacy. I like putting on a show but usually at the end of the day instead of feeling fulfilled I'm craving normal sex with someone I care about and don't have to be a sex goddess for!
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I think at the beginning it could be seen as an adventure then the money gets in the way! Leave yourself other options which it seems like you will, being a hobby whore sounds like heaven to me but unfortunately I put all my eggs in one basket years ago x
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Were all different but you probably will find the money addictive.
Unless you don't try it you will never know, good luck with what you decide to do and take care x :)
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You don't really need the money, so you can be as fussy as you like in terms of clients. This probably doesn't mean picking them on the usual casual sex criteria like looks - one of the things they're paying for is not to be judged on stuff like that and one of the things you'll learn is that attitude matters far more - but with the right marketing you can be ruthless about ignoring / turning down anyone whose attitude does not appeal.
In this case, the right marketing means talking about what you've said here: it's an adventure for you, you're looking for some good casual liaisons, talking up aspects of your background etc etc.
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Hello Miss,
I'm in my early 30s, live in London .... from an ethnic family who are traditional rather than strict too.
I was employed full time when I decided to have a 'dabble' in sex work. I then decided to quit my job with the intention of finding another in the same field. I escorted full time between jobs and enjoyed the adventure and the freedom but it became sporadic to say the least and I went back to the day job (different company) with the added cash and freedom of escorting on the side.
It is an adventure and it is very liberating.
I too tired of dating and I am a bit of a commitmentphobe. I have, however, dabbled in casual dating for years which is fun and free of the constraints and ambiguities of traditional dating. Sex fascinates me the good the bad and the subtle. This job was almost a natural progression really.
I say go for it (once you've read this site twice over!)
Good luck!
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Thanks again everyone. I got something from everyone who replied so thank you.
I reread my first message this morning and felt a little embarrassed by the line about 'craving sex', which is kind of true, but not the whole story.
I get that I'm probably not going to fancy every guy I see, and will have to do sex stuff with them anyway. As you all seemed to pick up on, adventure and a little extra cash are just as exciting a prospect for me. Some nice fun sex would be nice, but hey, we'll see...
I guess some people get over not feeling turned on by what they're doing by playing a role and becoming a fantasy figure. I want to be myself, and as a short awkward tomboy with uncontrollable hair I'm never going to fit the mould of some sex goddess.
chloinnyc, Nia and bi guy. I have a decent job that pays okay and that I like (mostly). I don't want to replace my job with this. I want this to be a fun, lucrative(?) hobby. A hobby that I can give up if and when I need to. But I totally get how the money could become addictive.
Just Jess, I really get where you're coming from. I want this to be as much fun as possible, my real worry is not so much feeling bad about myself but being turned off men.
So I think I'm going to post an ad/profile and dip my toe into being a 'hobby whore' ;) Thanks everyone for all your support!
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Thanks. You're right, I guess I won't know until I've tried. I think I'm just excited by the (obviously very secret) fantasy of anonymous sex and wanting other opinions.
Do you find escorting sexually fulfilling?
Hiya,
I was in similar position to you. I wanted sex first and foremost but once I started asking for money, I got hooked on that as a great supplement to my full time work. Now in my head money and sex are inexplicably linked so I couldn't have sex without money. I say you are in a good position to go for it. It changes you but as long as you cultivate regular clients, I think you'll be more in control of the whole thing x
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'Suck it and see'. I guess you're right and I'm just procrastinating, enjoying the fantasy but scared of jumping in..
My flat's discreet to the point where one male visitor every few days wouldn't attract attention (though a stream of them would).
I did think of renting a hotel room for a day, even though it would mean having to see a few guys in order to make a profit. My fear is that I'd have a horrible experience first time and straight away have to see someone else. Again, I like the idea but going through with it is a scary prospect!
Thanks for the replies!
I currently only see a few men regularly who I trust. I could never be in a room alone with a man I had never met. You don't have to do it this way. There are less scary ways to do this. You can get to know somebody a little first, you can suss them out... x
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My flat's discreet to the point where one male visitor every few days wouldn't attract attention (though a stream of them would).
I missed this bit.
I did not realise you were going to see clients at your home, I couldn't do that. I guess our circumstances are different, my house is where I made my home with my husband, but even so I like the anonymity and safety of being somewhere neutral and semi public so only visit hotels.
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Hi shewolf, sounds like we have a lot in common! Thanks for your response.
Just Jess. I guess this issue has been discussed before.
TBH I'm a bit squeamish about the idea of bringing a stranger to my own bed, and would very much probably prefer to meet at a venue suggested by the client (once I've checked that he's trustworthy, had a chat with him etc.) I guess this narrows the number of guys who'll be able to see me? Could I depend on a couple of guys a week if I only met somewhere semi-public?
Before I go, a smiley for everyone who's got in touch. Not only do I feel less of a freak for wanting to do this I'm a hell of a lot less clueless as well! :)
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If you want to make a go of living alone, there's the other bedroom you can use as a work place, leaving your (closed while there is a client around) bedroom as your space.
But yes, the venue is swings and roundabouts time. Have a look here for the pros and cons of working from home, having an incall place and doing outcalls. (Oh, and for completeness, 'car meets' even if just to go 'no' to them.)
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I guess this narrows the number of guys who'll be able to see me? Could I depend on a couple of guys a week if I only met somewhere semi-public?
I don't know where you are so cannot really comment but if you get regulars you should be able to manage that. I sometimes have bookings weeks ahead where someone I have seen before knows they will be back again for work.
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Thanks again everyone. I'm going to put an ad together tomorrow and see what happens.
My aim will be to meet somewhere semi-public with someone who sounds like they may become a regular. I'm nervous, this is all starting to feel a bit real.. I'll take it slowly and see how it goes.
xw5, using the other bedroom had occurred to me, but I don't know how I feel about potentially having sex in my roommate's old room :S
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If you want to make a go of living alone, there's the other bedroom you can use as a work place, leaving your (closed while there is a client around) bedroom as your space.
But yes, the venue is swings and roundabouts time. Have a look here for the pros and cons of working from home, having an incall place and doing outcalls. (Oh, and for completeness, 'car meets' even if just to go 'no' to them.)
Exactly, I've worked from home over 2yrs, I have my bedroom and a work room. Never feel my work crosses into my personal space that way
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Thanks again everyone. I'm going to put an ad together tomorrow and see what happens.
My aim will be to meet somewhere semi-public with someone who sounds like they may become a regular. I'm nervous, this is all starting to feel a bit real.. I'll take it slowly and see how it goes.
xw5, using the other bedroom had occurred to me, but I don't know how I feel about potentially having sex in my roommate's old room :S
Of course your call but doing Incalls at home is really convenient I find, you don't even leave the house and no travelling and you mate loads of cash, just so easy, and really no difference if you separate space and keep a work room