SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Ana66 on 26 June 2022, 07:26:03 pm
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Hi everyone,
(disclaimer : this post has no intention of self victimisation , I genuinely need some advices from you since it seems I can't find the solutions myself, I also don't want to offend anybody on here :)
ok so I've been really struggling with finances for a few months now because business has been quite slow for me and I'm trying to find some ways to decrease my life costs in general (also trying to improve the business itself by making a website + advertising on many different directories but this has already been discussed and is not the topic here).
I've already managed to decrease my costs by ordering less food online, barely using any uber/taxis anymore, selling some of my items and obviously completely stopping any "non essential" spending (shopping, restaurants, hobbies etc.) but despite this, my financial situation is still really really bad and my costs of living still crazy expensive, especially because of my accommodations (I rent 2 flats in Central London : one where I live and one where I work). At the moment, I literally get 0 disposable income and work brings me barely enough money to pay my bills, which really demotivates me and strongly impacts my mental health. I also have no savings (probably the biggest mistake I've made not to save thinking it would always be busy but mistake is done now, we can't change the past and need to move forwards. I also owe quite a lot of money to a few people, anyways to put it in a nutshell it's quite bad).
I've thought a lot about my situation and really wondering how other escorts manage to deal with their own finances on a daily basis because let's be honest, when you do this job, you don't want to feel that you're getting f***** by strangers for nothing and this is really how I feel at the moment. But I'm genuinely wondering, how all of you (especially the ones who have a separate workplace and home) can manage to have any disposable income when having 2 places. Maybe the solutions is obvious and I may be stupid :(
What's according to you the most cost-effective option when it comes to accommodations in general in order to have a stable and sustainable financial situation ? (looks like having 2 separate places is definitely not one of them or maybe mine are too expensive, are we allowed to talk about numbers on here ? If yes, what's your budget for an accommodation ?
(I used to work at the hotel but stopped because it has become way too expensive now (assuming you work 5/6 days a week) and renting another flat seemed to be the best option at the time but it seems that it's not much better to be honest since now I have to pay the bills for 2 flats so everything is multiplied by two).
Also, I've thought about living and working in the same place but I don't think I'm comfortable enough to do it for now as it's quite important for me to have my own "untouched" space + I'm very paranoid about everything, however I might consider working and living in the same place in the future.
Or maybe some of you might say that having high living costs when you have 2 accommodations is normal and that pretty much everybody is in the same bad situation when business is slow ? (especially when you don't have savings)
What do you think about all of this and what are the best advices you could give me for improving my life ?
Ps. Daily life advices in general such as grocery shopping, daily expensive and stuff are also very welcomed :)
Thank you very much for your help :) :)
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To be honest if you are really struggling I would be inclined to get rid of the second flat and find a civvy job and do outcalls only
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In terms of your every day expenses, why are you getting cabs and Ubers? I can’t recall the last time I used either (unless a client was paying). I walk or take the tube. Stop ordering food online, go to the supermarket and cook. Yes, I know it’s a chore, particularly if you’ve been working all day but it’s an expense you don’t need. I only ever order a Deliveroo when they send me money off vouchers.
Your flats. You live and work in zone one, don’t you? Given this is your single biggest expense, I would either look to live and work in the same flat or else keep the work flat and move to live in a cheaper location/different zone. I know a few escorts who live outside of London, all of whom travel into London a few days a week to work. Maybe this is something you could consider although I do understand if you do not want to give up living in Central London. But, if this is your biggest expense, think of it as a short term option while you start tucking some money away.
In terms of managing your money, it’s not even about willpower, it’s about knowing that every single penny you make needs to be banked and only spent on pleasurable/luxury items when you can afford to spare the funds. Not fun I know, particularly when you’re making money by having sex with strangers, but you need to see money as something to spend wisely and save, because without savings, when times are tough, life is horrible as it is so full of anxiety and worry.
I only escort part-time, and I did not want the expense of a work flat so only do outcalls. You could consider doing this around a full-time civvy job for a bit but it is hard work managing two busy lives and not for everyone. However, doing this enables me to save every single penny I earn from escorting, so it’s not all bad. I have also been relatively fortunate as the present financial climate has not effected my client base one bit, so that is something to think about if you do decide to go the part-time outcall only route as it can be lucrative and steady. However, at the same time, given all the anxiety you’ve been experiencing for some time, are you even sure you want to persist with this? Or else, maybe it’s time to radically rethink how you operate. If you opt for the latter, think both short term - how can you earn some money to start saving and in the long term - how you can future proof your business so you don’t suffer this again.
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Can you rent your working place ? At least for short period so you can pay for your flat ?
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Thanks for your help
I'm not very comfortable with doing outcalls as I don't provide them in general and the only time I've done an outcall was a quite dodgy experience so not really my thing.
Doing a civvie job, well I've definitely thought about it lately but once again, I've had 2 civvie jobs in my life so far and have been fired twice so wasn't a good experience either and don't think I want to reiterate. I think my only option is doing everything for the escort work to improve, I try to be confident.
I think I'm gonna join some agencies + keep doing my independent work and hopefully it will get better, I'll also try to find someone who is willing to live with me to share the rent because I'm now stuck in my tenancy contracts without break clause and will reassess everything after that (will try to renegotiate a good deal with my flat though) .
Miffy, about uber, I'm quite paranoid about security so was used to take the uber but since I live very close from the tube station, taking the tube is ok during the day. About deliveroo, I don't know how to cook in general (also didn't have the motivation to be honest) but now I'm getting to it with online recipes and I actually like it better to cook fresh ingredients rater already cooked food.
But it's true that having a hard time has taught me a lot of things and now I have a completely different relationship with money in general, that it's very important to save your hardly earned money to achieve goals rather than spending it on material stuff and non necessarily spending.
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Can you rent your working place ? At least for short period so you can pay for your flat ?
Do you mean renting it to someone else ? Like subletting the flat ?
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Yes for short period you will have to pay only for your flat
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Being in central London, the obvious issue as an objective observer to me is the second flat. If you really don't feel you can work from home, I would seek to find a permanent (or at least long-term) SP to sublet to at least on certain days, or maybe in the evenings if you work days etc.
I also agree about using cabs/Uber. If you live in central London you should be able to get to 90% of places easily by tube or bus, or even walking or Boris bike. I worked in central London for years and never really felt unsafe, even late at night, because there are always people about. There are also plenty of dodgy Uber drivers.
Re. food, if you're a hopeless cook, even getting ready meals from M&S or Waitrose will be a lot cheaper than relying on Deliveroo. But try going to a market for fruit and veg, or cheaper stores like Aldi and Lidl for basics. And try and learn how to make some simple dishes, like omelettes. Stuff like fresh pasta and sauce doesn't require any skill, either.
You haven't mentioned this, but if you have any cosmetic procedures I would drop those, learn how to manicure your own nails, cut down hairdresser appointments etc.
Longer term, I would suggest thinking about moving out of London.
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Im sorry to hear about your situation, it must be very stressful. I agree that moving out of central London is a better option and maybe work from dayuse hotel rooms a few days a week. There are lots of great blogs around to inspire you to save and cut expenses. I learned my financial lessons after the recession and now i manage my money carefully. So take this bad situation as a reason to educate yourself on personal finance. Best of luck.
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I live in London too, and originally thought I wanted to have one place to live and another to work. When I started looking at flats, I realised this was not going to be an option as it would just be too expensive, so I do live and work at the same place, so I looked for ones where the clients have the room and bathroom as soon as they enter, and I can close the doors to every where else so they don't see "my place."
It has worked well for me, and I also feel like clients aren't seeing my home.
If you found a place where you can keep your work rooms and "personal life" rooms separate would you consider working and living at the same flat?
It sounds like you're already on the right track with cutting down unnecessary spending- and to add on to that, I find food prep really works for me, I used to be so lazy and always order food so now I make my meals for a couple of days/ a week in advance and that way I know if I am tired I the food is already done so I won't be tempted to order in.
I hope things pick up for you soon as it's a really shitty feeling to be so stressed about money. Good luck :)
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If you are in financial trouble for a while that says your work flat in london is not bringing in enough work for you and cannot see it changing much very soon.
If it was me i would get rid of the work flat and tour different areas but not London as too expensive for hotels and your work is not busy enough. Bare in mind at the moment lots of women are not doing that good at the moment with touring no matter where they go.
You don't want to do outcalls but least you can get there address i.d proof it's a genuine man or call through to there hotel room and with incalls you do not know who they are and have just a throw away sim that is why there is more dangerous reports on incalls then outcalls. I have done both for years and incalls is definately more dangerous but it depends how comfortable you are.
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Hi Ana, I am sorry to hear that you're struggling!
I would get rid of one of the flats because that is the most expensive thing in London.
(I work and live in the same place and I never had a problem, I always clean after a day of work and when I feel like it's too much I just take the day off and cancel everyone)
I don't travel too much, and when I need to (even with cash on me) i always take the underground, just be aware of your surroundings and keep your bag close to you at all times.
Regarding food and other expenses try and shop in a cheaper store ( I love shopping in aldi/ lidl, yes they might be at a distance but when it's nice outside it's a good walk and beneficial for your mental health as well. And cooking will grow on you (I know that for a fact:)) it relaxes me after a day of work)
Have you tried reducing your prices maybe for a short period of time till you get more and new clients and then you can put it up again.. just an idea.
Hope this helps xx
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Suziblue and Kay : Yes I thought about subletting the flat but I have a guarantor for my work flat and even though many people do it, subletting without the landlord knowing remains technically illegal and if someone finds out (or if some damage in made in the flat when the new person is in there), I don't want my guarantor to be in trouble. But I'm looking at every solution so take this one into account as well :)
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You haven't mentioned this, but if you have any cosmetic procedures I would drop those, learn how to manicure your own nails, cut down hairdresser appointments etc.
Yes indeed, I've also decreased my cosmetic procedures costs drastically
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Im sorry to hear about your situation, it must be very stressful. I agree that moving out of central London is a better option and maybe work from dayuse hotel rooms a few days a week. There are lots of great blogs around to inspire you to save and cut expenses. I learned my financial lessons after the recession and now i manage my money carefully. So take this bad situation as a reason to educate yourself on personal finance. Best of luck.
MissCleo, Yes this is an option that I strongly consider as well :)
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I live in London too, and originally thought I wanted to have one place to live and another to work. When I started looking at flats, I realised this was not going to be an option as it would just be too expensive, so I do live and work at the same place, so I looked for ones where the clients have the room and bathroom as soon as they enter, and I can close the doors to every where else so they don't see "my place."
It has worked well for me, and I also feel like clients aren't seeing my home.
If you found a place where you can keep your work rooms and "personal life" rooms separate would you consider working and living at the same flat?
Beth Elizabeth and Denise96, yes it looks that working and living in the same place would definitely be the best option in order for me to stay in Central London, you're right, the layout is very important if you work and live in the same place. The ideal for me would be to have two en-suite bedrooms (one for me and one for the clients) where the room for the client would be "downstairs", mean having some stairs separating both areas. Implementing a strong security system is also very important. But the only thing I'm scared that if I work and live in the same place is if a malicious guy who has bad intentions would "force"me to show him around to steal stuff or something like that.
Being outed by the neighbours is also a major concern of mine.
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If you are in financial trouble for a while that says your work flat in london is not bringing in enough work for you and cannot see it changing much very soon.
If it was me i would get rid of the work flat and tour different areas but not London as too expensive for hotels and your work is not busy enough. Bare in mind at the moment lots of women are not doing that good at the moment with touring no matter where they go.
You don't want to do outcalls but least you can get there address i.d proof it's a genuine man or call through to there hotel room and with incalls you do not know who they are and have just a throw away sim that is why there is more dangerous reports on incalls then outcalls. I have done both for years and incalls is definately more dangerous but it depends how comfortable you are.
English Green, yes touring could be an option as well, however I would need to be able to save a bit of money before I start touring because once again it involves expenses for the accommodation and at the moment I'm completely broke :(
I'll rethink about providing outcalls but to hotels only
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I work from home and generally haven't had many issues. I'd love to be able to rent an apartment but with my other business and low bookings I'm not sure it would be worth while.
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English Green, yes touring could be an option as well, however I would need to be able to save a bit of money before I start touring because once again it involves expenses for the accommodation and at the moment I'm completely broke :(
I'll rethink about providing outcalls but to hotels only
Maybe just maybe you could work from home as another extra option being very careful screening and using saafe and the other app to check to see for bad reports but don't look at working from home as a permanent situation and only let them in to the rooms they use and get rid of loads of personal items and say you are using it for work. Don't tell them you live where you work.
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Maybe just maybe you could work from home as another extra option being very careful screening and using saafe and the other app to check to see for bad reports but don't look at working from home as a permanent situation and only let them in to the rooms they use and get rid of loads of personal items and say you are using it for work. Don't tell them you live where you work.
Yes this seems like the best option, I just have to figure out now how to break my working flat tenancy contract
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But the only thing I'm scared that if I work and live in the same place is if a malicious guy who has bad intentions would "force"me to show him around to steal stuff or something like that.
I think this is a pretty ridiculous thing to be worrying about given it is highly unlikely to happen - if you’re hosting incalls, it is your responsibility to take control the moment a client steps foot into your space. If a client tries this, assert yourself and say no before showing the client door. You don’t even need to make a big deal out of it, just say those rooms are of no interest before grabbing his hand and taking him to the room you’re working from.
I'll rethink about providing outcalls but to hotels only
When I first started doing outcalls, I did visit client’s houses but the lack of security in terms of CCTV footage of me being there really bothered me. Also, I just never felt I was totally in control given I was on the client’s territory. Once I decided only to make outcalls to central London hotels, I’ve felt much happier. Firstly, all clients must give their real names and provide a copy of the hotel reservation. I always insist we meet in the bar, restaurant or other public space as I know this was be caught on CCTV so should anything happen, there will be a record that that particular person was the last person I was seen with.
I know this isn’t 100% but in my experience, particularly since I only see clients who contact me via my website, I’ve had pretty much zero issue with outcalls to hotels or clients for that matter. None of my clients have posed any issues whatsoever and I rarely even used to check here or CE for reports as they’re so willing to ensure I’m comfortable in seeing them that they provide whatever screening information I need.
Lastly, and not se work related, but using Deliveroo to order supermarket shopping is stupid, just go the supermarket yourself or else order directly from the supermarket online!
PS. Feel free to drop me a line anytime if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all
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You don't have to tell anyone that you're alone in the place, when someone asks me if I'm alone I ask back why? And that is enough with that conversation :)) I always tell them to bring all their stuff into the bedroom and even close the door after they are with me and had a shower. All of my other doors are closed and nothing personal in the view. No one has to know that you're alone.
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You don't have to tell anyone that you're alone in the place, when someone asks me if I'm alone I ask back why? And that is enough with that conversation :))
Another answer is "You won't see or hear anyone". Ends the conversation and leaves them unsure if you have a security buddy in the other room.
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I think this is a pretty ridiculous thing to be worrying about given it is highly unlikely to happen - if you’re hosting incalls, it is your responsibility to take control the moment a client steps foot into your space. If a client tries this, assert yourself and say no before showing the client door. You don’t even need to make a big deal out of it, just say those rooms are of no interest before grabbing his hand and taking him to the room you’re working from.
I know but what I mean was if the person has a threatening behaviour and attempts a robbery
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When I first started doing outcalls, I did visit client’s houses but the lack of security in terms of CCTV footage of me being there really bothered me. Also, I just never felt I was totally in control given I was on the client’s territory. Once I decided only to make outcalls to central London hotels, I’ve felt much happier. Firstly, all clients must give their real names and provide a copy of the hotel reservation. I always insist we meet in the bar, restaurant or other public space as I know this was be caught on CCTV so should anything happen, there will be a record that that particular person was the last person I was seen with.
I know this isn’t 100% but in my experience, particularly since I only see clients who contact me via my website, I’ve had pretty much zero issue with outcalls to hotels or clients for that matter. None of my clients have posed any issues whatsoever and I rarely even used to check here or CE for reports as they’re so willing to ensure I’m comfortable in seeing them that they provide whatever screening information I need.
Yes outcalls to hotels are definitely better and less riskier, I would never consider outcalls to private places
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Have you tried reducing your prices maybe for a short period of time till you get more and new clients and then you can put it up again.. just an idea.
Denise, yes I've tried decreasing my prices and it surprisingly didn't work at all, like the only outcome I got from it was getting my regulars at a discounted price (good for them but not so good for me :()
Didn't see any increasing in enquiries by decreasing my prices so decided to put them back to what they were originally
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Denise, yes I've tried decreasing my prices and it surprisingly didn't work at all, like the only outcome I got from it was getting my regulars at a discounted price (good for them but not so good for me :()
Didn't see any increasing in enquiries by decreasing my prices so decided to put them back to what they were originally
I don't think being quiet is price related at the moment (unless your price is way too high which probably is not ) less men are paying for sex up and down the country.