SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Rosiegoode on 07 January 2016, 10:00:34 pm
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Hi, I am aware others have posted similar things but mine is slightly different... I have a boyfriend. We were very serious but now my feelings have changed. He knows about my AW profile and although I have not actually met anyone or started escorting I had every intention to do it at one point hence the profile.
The profile is deleted but I think he still has snap shots of it from his mate who found it and told him about it.
Now my problem is that I am staying in a relationship as he will most definitely tell my parents and my managers at work about it which could potentially ruin my life and any reputation.
I can't think of a way to get around this and it's seriously painful being with someone just because I can't leave him. Please help.. :(
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Ask him if he's happy knowing the only reason you're staying with him is because he's blackmailing you.
What kind of a life are you going to have together?
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Can you bluff it out? As someone said on another thread, if he does have these pictures (but you don't know he does?) and he does send them to your work and family, tell them he's a jealous ex and he photoshopped pictures of you to make it look like you were a prostitute because he was so mad you left him.
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Thank you so much for the reply. Unfortunately although my face is not in the photos stupid things like tattoos which are unique to me are showing. And to be honest with my provocative nature (I am a stripper and my parents and work know about it and are fine with it) they will probably believe it's me anyway as it's the sort of thing I would do!
Stripping is fine but escorting is too far in their eyes. I'm mainly concerned about my job, I am unsure if legally they could sack me for that though however work would be hell as soon as that gossip goes around!
Really appreciate your help and ideas xx
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No they can't legally sack you for that. There is nothing illegal about escorting.
Do you know he actually has these pictures?
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No they can't legally sack you for that. There is nothing illegal about escorting.
Do you know he actually has these pictures?
Well that's not quite true; there are sectors where you would be fired for things like bringing the organisation into disrepute or even a clause in the terms and conditions which doesn't allow employees to take a second job without prior permission. I know at least one person who fell foul of that one when she was only doing a few part time agency shifts years ago and got found out.
If the OP works for the NHS, or has any job that involves contact with vulnerable people (Social Services, for example and in some cases teaching) then she could have something to worry about, although if this is the case I recommend she doesn't post about it here.
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Sorry, yes, Amy is correct. I was thinking purely in terms of the legality of escort work.
What are you going to do, Rosie?
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You haven't actually escorted and being able to say that honestly is a huge advantage. All he has is screenshots of a profile that no longer exists.
In your position, I would dump him now - a relationship based on blackmail is not likely to last long - and tell anyone what the shit did in creating it and how hard it was to have it deleted.
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Can't you tell your parents HE must of created this AW profile, added some of your private photos, took a screenshot hoping to blackmail you into staying with him?
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How do you know he's going to tell people? If he's that spiteful then why would you want to be with him in the first place. Be very careful with people who act in spiteful ways towards you. If you have no feedback etc then that would be a little proof you've not worked..hope it turn out well for you.
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i know a sex worker friendly lawyer who will be able to help if you are interested
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Can't you tell your parents HE must of created this AW profile, added some of your private photos, took a screenshot hoping to blackmail you into staying with him?
Here. He created the profile in order to blackmail you because you were about to dump him. End off. And please dump this guy a.s.a.p.
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Echoing everybody else. He made the profile, end of. Nobody can prove otherwise. Nip it in the bud.
Good luck xx
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Thank you everyone for the advice.
The reason I know he will tell people is because we nearly broke up when he found out about the profile and said he was going to tell my mum and work.
Honestly I don't think anyone would believe he would create the profile. He is a lovely guy and a great boyfriend I just don't find him attractive anymore we've only been together 8 months!. I know it seems like blackmail but he hasn't threatened to tell anyone if we ever break up, I just know he would because of what happened before that I mentioned above.
I had thought about just being honest to anyone he tells sand say yes I considered using the site. But I never did which is the honest truth...
Thanks once again everyone xxx
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It doesn't mean he will, but I understand the fear.
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Say he set it up to get revenge on you for dumping him!
Jay xox
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Thank you everyone for the advice.
The reason I know he will tell people is because we nearly broke up when he found out about the profile and said he was going to tell my mum and work.
Honestly I don't think anyone would believe he would create the profile. He is a lovely guy and a great boyfriend I just don't find him attractive anymore we've only been together 8 months!. I know it seems like blackmail but he hasn't threatened to tell anyone if we ever break up, I just know he would because of what happened before that I mentioned above.
I had thought about just being honest to anyone he tells sand say yes I considered using the site. But I never did which is the honest truth...
Thanks once again everyone xxx
Are your own friends and family going to believe you or a guy they have known through you for 8 months?
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If he was a lovely guy and a great boyfriend this wouldn't even be an issue. Everyone knows that nice guys can turn nasty, your family and friends will know that too xx :-*