Author Topic: How do you keep your head happy and healthy? (Read 2127 times)

hot.rain · « **on:** 05 April 2009, 01:22:32 pm »

I have been an escort for a pretty short time. At a glance it seems I am reaching the few months mark that many girls pack it in.

To begin with I was exited, it was new and fun, now it is work.

How do you check you are not being affected mentally by your work?

What do you do/how does your mind work that you can keep your head, not suffer and in fact thrive long term as an escort?

How do you feel about escorting? Are you proud of yourself and your work?

Is it harder to escort when you are in love? I'm not sure if falling in love or self esteem work has changed me but I feel less like sleeping with so many people.

As I said in reply to another post I think hypnosis and NLP has helped me frame things constructively in my mind. Also someone to talk to who cares.

I have thought about stopping and at the moment I am in a reflective period where I am assessing what is right for me now and in the future, I would really appreciate the input of you girls and boys, especially those who are positive happy long term escorts

EmilyJones · « **Reply #1 on:** 05 April 2009, 01:49:58 pm »

I'm really curious about the same sorts of questions!

Hermione · « **Reply #2 on:** 05 April 2009, 05:09:22 pm »

Do you need to change the way you work? I got miserable about a year in, so I changed agents and started doing independent work on the side. I raised my prices and reduced my hours. It worked!

UrbaneAspects · « **Reply #3 on:** 05 April 2009, 08:31:58 pm »

Quote from: EmilyJones on 05 April 2009, 01:49:58 pm

I'm really curious about the same sorts of questions!

yea same here....I guess the best answer is to pace one's self, similar to what Hermione said

Trafford · « **Reply #4 on:** 05 April 2009, 09:47:58 pm »

I like to think I am a happy positive long term escort but others may disagree.

Most jobs are more exciting at the beginning I think so dont worry too much about that but if it is starting to bother you, then maybe a break is what is needed

It is certainly not a job for eveyone and even for those of us who feel its a vocation and feel almost born to do it, it has its not so good moments. The trick in my opinion is to do just as you are now doing and keeping a check on your own feelings.

I have been mentally affected by the business at some points which has come mainly as a result of being too involved. Its sometimes difficult to get a balance but keeping this job ringfenced emotionally and logistically works well I think. Girls working from home often complain that they never feel able to walk away from the job and I can understand that. Similarly girls who have their phones on 24/7 and answer drunken idiots at 3am tend to burn out more quickly than those who pace themsleves.

If you are in it to acheive a certain goal then going for it is not too much of a problem but if you are in it for the long haul then, pacing youself definitely works best.

As for relationships and working....its a toughie, I have had two relationships since I have been working. One was a little too proud of me being attractive enough to sleep with other men for a living and the other thought it gave him carte blanche to do what he wanted with whom he wanted. It can work though with open and honest communication or at the other end of the scale, with the partner having no idea at all. Horses for courses really.

As for how I feel about escorting. Overall I love it and I have used it to open up other opportuities for me by maximising all the extra time available and the good hourly rate. It has been a rewarding part of my life but I dont see myself doing it til retirement age and I have planned accordingly.

I hope you come to the conclusion that is right for you.

Violette · « **Reply #5 on:** 06 April 2009, 06:56:59 am »

I would have to say it is a career now for me, I have escorted since 1998, stopped in 2000, and started again in 2002, and haven't looked back since. Bloody hell I am coming up on my 10 year anniversary!

So, I would say I classify as a happy hooker. But in all honesty I really love what I am doing, yes it has moments when I want to kill some clients, but let's be serious, isn't every job like this?

One thing that helps me, is I really do see this as a job, and I treat it as such. Ok, granted my job is I have sex with men for a living, but there are worse thing to be doing. Keep organized, and structured also helps.

Relationships-as Trafford said, it is tough, but I have been honest with all the men in my life before hand and it really hasn't been a problem. I tell them a bit after they get to know me, but before we sleep together for the first time. Then he can choose before things get too out of hand.

I also tour, this helps to keep things very separate for me. I leave my home to physically go to work in another country!So work and personal are two things that don't ever meet.

Having a friend you can confide all to is also a good thing, sometimes you will need to vent.

medea · « **Reply #6 on:** 06 April 2009, 08:28:01 am »

i am glad you have friends you can talk about; which i feel helps

i do love my job as escort and the only aspect i struggle from time to time is the social disapproval of it. however that was not always so.... read whores in history and you will see that it was once founded as an essential and very appreciated aspect of tribal culture

for me i would think looking back and evaluating myself, what are my motives of doing it... which helps i feel to overcome any difficult aspects. and i think variety helps,
i would suggest to ask yourself what do you really love about the job, what are your motives of doing it. what is it you are not happy about it at the moment,
also what is it that is missing (that could be another area or another service you can offer) some kind of variety.... i think those times are times where we can grow professionally as personally

Welsh Lass · « **Reply #7 on:** 06 April 2009, 09:38:30 am »

Hi there,
I have not been doing this too long a time. Not compared to others on here anyhow.
I don't think I have ever felt the desire to give it up.
I really enjoy the job.
I started out doing it as a necessity for cash but I have come to really enjoy it and I am not sure I can see myself not doing it now.
It's hard to describe why I like it so much. Sure, the money, come on, of course but it is not only that. It is not that I am some mad woman that wants to have sex all the time either! I am just happier now than I have been in a long time. I am more settled in myself as well. I find this very honest, a very honest way to earn money.

Compared to some escorts, I don't work all that much. I think the fact I don't work all that much helps keep this as something I like to do over a job - I don't ever sigh when I have to bath, change the sheets and get ready for a client, I possibly would if he was number 4 of the day!
I like the fact I can turn off my phone when I feel like it as well. Take a weekend off. Have downtime when I feel the need for it not when a boss tells me I can!
It is not all brilliant - I get my share of guys that have me thinking men are all really pathetic but you can't think like that. There are mad apples in every walk of life I guess.
I have never had a nasty client. Thank God.
I have had my share of clingy ones though and to me, nothing is worse than a clingy person, man or woman, it just annoys me greatly. After a string of that sort of client, when I get a joker, a fun client, I just appreciate it so much and it restores my faith somewhat!

I would say, make sure you give yourself time out.
Money is not everything, if you don't feel like working for a few days, listen to that feeling and budget for those times, think ahead when you have a good week and put some of that cash earned away for the week you feel tired and want time out?
When I have taken a time out, when I get the phone back on and a client arrange to come around, it's a nice feeling.
I don't have a relationship right now so can not advise you on that aspect. It depends on what sort of man you are with I guess. He is going to have to be confident in himself to accept your job.
I don't have any difficulty working from home. I go to sleep at night, in my bed, I don't think of who might have been in it an hour or so ago, when they are gone, they are gone, it's just my bedroom. I watch telly in there, eat toast in there, fall asleep in there, it does not bother me at all.

I think it depends on your maturity and mental health to be able to do this and enjoy it. You have to be in the right frame of mind to do this and remain okay with it all. I don't mean age when I talk of maturity either, some young girls are very mature.
Pace yourself, enjoy yourself, don't take it all so very seriously all of the time. Yes, it is serious to have to earn cash and so on, I am not for a minute suggesting you happily skip about taking no security measures or watching your back, but, it is okay to enjoy yourself, have a bit of a giggle with a client now and then.

And post on here! Ha! I have not told any family or friends what I do - I don't want to tell a soul I know, I don't want the whole 'what do you think your doing?' conversation. I know what I am doing and I don't welcome others thinking they can impress upon me their views on my life.... Checking in on here, posting up on here, other woman and guys doing the same thing I am, it helps. A lot.
Good luck, I am sure you will find your happy medium in it all.
Hypnotise? Gosh, I have way too many secrets to ever risk being hypnotised! Ha!
x

hot.rain · « **Reply #8 on:** 07 April 2009, 10:04:26 am »

Thank you very much! I'm glad I have a place to ask these sorts of questions.

There are many people I admire here, it's nice to see such strong chicks.

"what do you really love about the job?"

Having time off to do other things especially as I am going to be in full time education, good pay, sitting on my bottom drinking and wine and chatting!

I have just got on top of my debts after 2 years of feeling like I would never get out, or knowing I would but not knowing how.

"what are your motives of doing it?"
It seemed like a fun way to make money, 'seemed' cus like any job it gets boring!

"what is it you are not happy about it at the moment?"

Being close to people I dont find attractive physically or mentally. I am finding it hard to step back from the fact not everyone will be attractive to me, and so they shouldn't, and not everyone will be my kinda person. How do I deal with that when I have to get so close to them, kissing for example. I tend to try to connect with people and I know this is something clients value and how I feel job satisfaction but what if they are not the kinda person you want to connect with?
I'm thinking to much I'm sure! I work in health care and have no issue doing very intimate things with people which some people would walk away from disgusted with the image burned in their brain! I must have found a way to deal with the not so nice things.

I think I have some doubts weather what Im doing is providing an essential service...I think I will do some reading about WGs in history

"also what is it that is missing (that could be another area or another service you can offer) some kind of variety.... i think those times are times where we can grow professionally as personally"

I had hoped I would have more women interested, I did get a booking form a couple yesterday so things are looking up.

I would like to have more of a balance and be more domme but I find it hard work stepping out of my submissive comfort zone, i think I will get to it but not yet, I'm still peeking from behind the curtain!

What medea said about the social acceptance matters to me, no one is going to give me a medal for this and silly as it is I'm the kind of person that likes to do things that help people and that people say "thanks, you have been very helpful, how would have managed without you"! It's how I feel important

I think I feel a little guilt or shame for doing something (some would say pretty simple) for lots of money that (some would say) is an unnecessary luxury...whats wrong with that? I dunno! I keep asking my silly brain!
I think going back to uni and wearing the badge of someone who is known for helping, being something I can tell my mum about etc will help.

Welsh Lass · « **Reply #9 on:** 08 April 2009, 09:22:21 am »

It's all good to help others but you have to help yourself as well!
I always think this way; As long as I can sleep at night, as long as there was never an intention to upset/hurt anybody, I am justified in doing what I did - on any level in life, not just this work.

I don't have the problem of struggling to get intimate with guys I don't find attractive as I see myself acting to a point when it comes to this work. I am in work mode, not personal.
I won't say I don't get a good time sometimes but I would rather keep my proper get intimate for me properly, not for Joanna.
Joanna is earning the cash to pay for the bloody bills and food and so on.

I have found the extra long bookings a struggle though - to keep up the happy, smiling Hooker act for a whole entire day is very draining and such hard work. The overnights? God, why do guys want to jump on you the second your eyes are partially open?
I do start to notice things about the client I really don't like when it's a longer booking and I get grumpy but can't show it really so end up grumpy after I leave/they leave for hours after!
I am very selective now who I opt to spent more than 3 hours with as that seems to be my cut off point. I can manage for 3 hours, after than I am restless and tired and I want to go home or be alone in my home.
x

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Author Topic: How do you keep your head happy and healthy? (Read 2127 times)

hot.rain

How do you keep your head happy and healthy?

EmilyJones

Re: How do you keep your head happy and healthy?

Hermione

Re: How do you keep your head happy and healthy?

UrbaneAspects

Re: How do you keep your head happy and healthy?

Trafford

Re: How do you keep your head happy and healthy?

Violette

Re: How do you keep your head happy and healthy?

medea

Re: How do you keep your head happy and healthy?

Welsh Lass

Re: How do you keep your head happy and healthy?

hot.rain

Re: How do you keep your head happy and healthy?

Welsh Lass

Re: How do you keep your head happy and healthy?