thanks for the reply...i do have a male friend who could poss help, and was thinking about calling him up whenever i have an inkling that something is not right, the male friend is also willing to help too which is great....the thing is i'm quitting forever in august, and that is when my lease ends as well at my flat....so kinda feel like i gotta stick it out until such time until i'm gone...my way of handing callers/requests has shifted now which is a good thing....thanks for your suggestions, much appreciated xxx
Adamas' suggestion about on-site security is a brilliant one, and I think she's probably right about needing to go to the police, too.
I know you've said that you're moving in August - you'll be deleting all ads and throwing away your work phone and literally moving to another place etc? Cos if that's the case, it might be best for your personal safety to just start having someone on-site or *very* nearby that you can call (on speed-dial) whenever you feel even the slightest bit vulnerable.
This "James" seems to fit the profile of a rapist - he is violent, he sees you (and possibly all women and/or sex workers) as lesser beings against whom he can act with undeserved and un-punished violence because he's somewhat psychotic, etc etc. His "sorry" and "mental problem" suggest he's got a fairly twisted view of his own actions. As you said yourself, your instincts are telling you all this when you can sense his horrible intentions even from across the room, and I think you're completely right (our instincts almost always are!) - unfortunately, that means that he'll probably only be stopped by imprisonment (and hopefully rehabilitation, but that's not what's important just now).
You have not asked for this to be brought upon yourself, of course, so I think you are right to focus first on your personal safety. If you save all of his details (phone numbers, physical description, etc), perhaps you can report him after you've stopped working? You could then report him as a rapist but you wouldn't need to describe yourself as a sex worker, which might help you feel more confident when dealing with the police? And hopefully you have a friend/safety buddy near you who can come with you to the station? They can keep a strict eye on what the police are doing with your details so that you don't have to worry about that while you report the crime.
My screening methods (based on things I learned on this forum a year or two ago now, from Amy and Anika, and Brandy and other founding members) just involve being ridiculously strict. No appointments by text. No appointments after 6/7/8pm. No appointments after dark. No appointments without a phone call at least an hour beforehand. No appointments on days that I've marked as Unavailable on my website's calendar. No whining. No pleading. No text-speak. No immaturity or disrespect. No pestering or harassment. No getting around my rules. No discounts or bartering. Depending on the rule, I'll immediately mark an offender as "DO NOT SEE" in my phone, or I might try explaining the correct procedure to him once but if he persists, again, he becomes a "DO NOT SEE". Any dodginess like trying to get around my rules by changing phone numbers? I save his details in case I need to go to the police (and tell him so); if he persists, I'd tell him I'm reporting him to the police for harrassment. I work on the principle (though I didn't when I was new and naive
) that escorting does NOT mean seeing anyone who calls. I turn down up to 50% of my weekly inquiries, easily.
However, my methods are based upon a 4-5 clients-per-week target, which is very part-time and quite possibly far too few for someone who is working a lot in order to save up, etc. I would say, therefore, that someone who wants to see more clients and is therefore prepared to accept text bookings and last-minute "now plz" phone calls and people who sound a bit dodgy, should just focus on having on-site security. You should definitely be making a security phone call as soon as the client's paid you, saying clearly, "Yes, Mr Client is here, all is fine so far. I'll call you in an hour." And if your buddy doesn't get that phone call when s/he expects it, they should come immediately round to your incall because you are very much at risk at the moment.
If "James" contacts you again, try not to engage him in any conversation (he is probably enjoying the amount that he is frightening/intimidating you, as he is psychotic) whatsoever. Hang up or don't reply to any texts. If he rings, get a confident male friend to answer - encourage your friend to sound possessive, like a boyfriend/pimp even, as "James" and disgusting rapists in general is/are more likely to concede to an 'alpha' male than to a woman alone trying to assert herself.
If James makes further threats, please try not to be at your incall alone. Definitely do not answer your door if you are there alone - not without getting your safety buddy on the phone first, to stay on the end of the line while you answer it. If James appears at your incall again, call the police immediately (tell them you've already told them that you've been assaulted and harassed by this man). Consider rejecting all text bookings (tell them to call and they will if they're genuine/respectful) for at least the next month.
And if you are in London, PM me and I will go to the police with you if you'd like. This guy is obviously a criminal, and from your account, I am worried about you and about any other sex workers in the area.
((hugs)) I'm sorry this is happening. I've never met anyone so bad but the few times I've felt even mildly disturbed/harassed by a weirdo, it's made me sick to my stomach and afraid. Don't be afraid to call your friend even if it's just for support! He definitely won't begrudge it at a time of need like this.
Topic: was assaulted, have queries re reporting it and keeping anonymous (Read 2605 times)