Author Topic: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living? (Read 8905 times)

SimplySinful · « **Reply #75 on:** 23 November 2017, 01:19:56 pm »

Quote from: English Green on 23 November 2017, 09:57:15 am

We sure do live in a diverse world i mean there is some men that get turned on by there gf/wife fucking other men and they have a open relationship with that and it works would it be for me no i would not want a relationship like that but some do. I do not cheat outside of work but i had had casual dates when working in the past nothing really serious but i did not want them to know i do sex work because nobody knows in my private life and i do not want the risk of it being spread about.

I never have had a serious relationship when working i do not want to lie but i do not want them to know either.

Exactly and I think there are a lot of women in the industry who would do likewise.

A lot of us keep our sexwork and personal lives separate, with good reason. In which case you are never going to divulge what you do on a first date, which may lead nowhere, and if you are just looking for casual you are unlikely to say so either.

After all we have all heard about former bfs, whether casual or not outing their partners, its not worth the risk.

If you are open and out about your sexworking then you?d obviously be more comfortable telling a partner, casual or otherwise.

If not, unless you find the one in a million, and then everyone has the right to pick the right time for them to tell their partner.

mature helen · « **Reply #76 on:** 23 November 2017, 01:21:58 pm »

Quote from: AnnaP on 23 November 2017, 12:46:52 pm

The original post want about people not all wanting
monogamous relationships, it was about a woman
going on a date and people encouraging her
to lie about what she does and deception in general.
And my original point is that if you do want a relationship with a decent bloke
who will love you then being a sw and lying
to a man won't work.
Which brings me back to an evolutionary fact: men do
not want to share a woman they love. Swingers do NOT
love their partner. He does not love, he is getting
his needs met and she is deluded.
Of course it's up to a woman if she wants to
allow herself to be treated that way because she
believes he loves her.
These aren't rigid ideas about relationships, these are common sense
facts and there is research to prove it.
Ask any psychologist or behavioural scientist if you
want further clarification.
My opinion most certainly is valid, when you claim
it isn't you sound Orwellian.

I actually agree with a lot of what you are saying, Maybe I'm old fashioned but to me sex should be between 2 people in a committed relationship, I've never done one night stands. I'm not hedonistic I would never go into swinging or group sex as I know I wouldn't enjoy it. I don't date whilst working as I don't want to put myself in the position of lying about what I do or if I tell the truth I'd be wondering does he really love me?, is he with me for freebies? Will he blackmail me if we break up or will he see my job as an excuse to cheat if the opportunity arises because in his mind what's good for the goose is good for the gander? A man dating an escort must be very open minded and to me that means he is sexually open to other things like swapping, swinging and open relationships none of which I would be happy with. Basically I wouldn't want a man who's ok with me selling my body..That's my personal 2 pennies worth.

SimplySinful · « **Reply #77 on:** 23 November 2017, 01:28:58 pm »

Quote from: mature helen on 23 November 2017, 01:21:58 pm

I actually agree with a lot of what you are saying, Maybe I'm old fashioned but to me sex should be between 2 people in a committed relationship, I've never done one night stands. I'm not hedonistic I would never go into swinging or group sex as I know I wouldn't enjoy it. I don't date whilst working as I don't want to put myself in the position of lying about what I do or if I tell the truth I'd be wondering does he really love me?, is he with me for freebies? Will he blackmail me if we break up or will he see my job as an excuse to cheat if the opportunity arises because in his mind what's good for the goose is good for the gander? A man dating an escort must be very open minded and to me that means he is sexually open to other things like swapping, swinging and open relationships none of which I would be happy with. Basically I wouldn't want a man who's ok with me selling my body..That's my personal 2 pennies worth.

I do get where you?re coming from. I only had a few partners before sexwork (and entered in my late 30s), decided not to have one whilst doing sexwork.

I think a lot of us have contradictory views about this...I for example would love it if a man could REALLY be ok about my sexwork, but I don?t think there are many of those around.

So part of me does feel the same, that I wouldn?t want a guy to be ok with it.

I think we are all basically a bundle of contradictions.

mature helen · « **Reply #78 on:** 23 November 2017, 01:35:31 pm »

Quote from: SimplySinful on 23 November 2017, 01:28:58 pm

I do get where you?re coming from. I only had a few partners before sexwork (and entered in my late 30s), decided not to have one whilst doing sexwork.

I think a lot of us have contradictory views about this...I for example would love it if a man could REALLY be ok about my sexwork, but I don?t think there are many of those around.

So part of me does feel the same, that I wouldn?t want a guy to be ok with it.

I think we are all basically a bundle of contradictions.

I agree.

Z · « **Reply #79 on:** 23 November 2017, 01:40:29 pm »

Quote from: SimplySinful on 23 November 2017, 01:28:58 pm

I do get where you?re coming from. I only had a few partners before sexwork (and entered in my late 30s), decided not to have one whilst doing sexwork.

I think a lot of us have contradictory views about this...I for example would love it if a man could REALLY be ok about my sexwork, but I don?t think there are many of those around.

So part of me does feel the same, that I wouldn?t want a guy to be ok with it.

I think we are all basically a bundle of contradictions.

Totally agree with it.

Plus to impose your views on others and having extreme views and not acknowleging other real people is denial imo.

AnnaP · « **Reply #80 on:** 23 November 2017, 01:50:14 pm »

Extreme views? I think you mean 'views that I don't agree with'.

Z · « **Reply #81 on:** 23 November 2017, 02:09:00 pm »

Quote from: AnnaP on 23 November 2017, 01:50:14 pm

Extreme views? I think you mean 'views that I don't agree with'.

Calling others delusional, in denial and means to an end sort of thing.

AnnaP · « **Reply #82 on:** 23 November 2017, 02:18:04 pm »

And using those terms is extreme?
They are not derogatory but explanatory terms, like calling someone
'ignorant'- again not derogatory but a term used to describe
someone's ignorance of something. I am ignorant
of physics and gardening, is it derogatory to point that out?
People do live in denial about some things, that is
just a fact, and facts don't care about your feelings.
No malice intended. X

Z · « **Reply #83 on:** 23 November 2017, 02:42:09 pm »

Quote from: AnnaP on 23 November 2017, 02:18:04 pm

And using those terms is extreme?
They are not derogatory but explanatory terms, like calling someone
'ignorant'- again not derogatory but a term used to describe
someone's ignorance of something. I am ignorant
of physics and gardening, is it derogatory to point that out?
People do live in denial about some things, that is
just a fact, and facts don't care about your feelings.
No malice intended. X

My feelings are fine thanks for your concern. Your previous posts say things that are hurtful, disrespecful and ignorant (thanks for that) to sw who are married, in ltr or dating. I am single btw but its wrong to not acknowledge other and impose your views on others and say there relationships are unhealthy and will be doomed.
The study you talk about is on sw personal lives, i think not. In case it is feel free to share. I do not want to engage in a pointless hateful argument with you. This forum is to support eaachother, not for silly catfights.

Iloveginandtonic · « **Reply #84 on:** 23 November 2017, 02:55:34 pm »

Quote from: Sia on 23 November 2017, 02:42:09 pm

My feelings are fine thanks for your concern. Your previous posts say things that are hurtful, disrespecful and ignorant (thanks for that) to sw who are married, in ltr or dating. I am single btw but its wrong to not acknowledge other and impose your views on others and say there relationships are unhealthy and will be doomed.
The study you talk about is on sw personal lives, i think not. In case it is feel free to share. I do not want to engage in a pointless hateful argument with you. This forum is to support eaachother, not for silly catfights.

+1

lillybliss · « **Reply #85 on:** 23 November 2017, 03:35:03 pm »

Wow Anna P, you seem to know sooo much more then us poor uneducated fools! the thing is you maybe studying whatever it is your banging on about but the truth is people are people and people are different, I don't really mix with many working girls because of being busy with life and so on but I did do a brief spell working for a couple of agencies when I first started out and whilst doing so I met a couple of ladies I ended up being friends with and they were both married to guys who knew what they did and were both in happy relationships, both guys were lovely, had their own careers and so on, and as for being disrespectful towards their wives because of their job's I never saw any of that going on, you maybe need to educate yourself a little further, just saying.

Rosesugar · « **Reply #86 on:** 23 November 2017, 04:08:20 pm »

I wouldn't tell a date that I was a part time escort its not his buisness I hardly know him yet.
It wouldn't be something I'd divulged to anyone it's too private .
If I got into a love affair again I still wouldn't tell its my choice I don't care if I'm lying to them.
I've been lied to by so many men and cheated on that is part of the reason I started escorting I like sex but I don't trust men at all. I've been shifted on and used .I wont trust anymore.
The clients get a service they pay they leave I owe them nothing but a service.

VoluptuousCurves · « **Reply #87 on:** 23 November 2017, 04:46:26 pm »

Quote from: AnnaP on 23 November 2017, 02:18:04 pm

And using those terms is extreme?
They are not derogatory but explanatory terms, like calling someone
'ignorant'- again not derogatory but a term used to describe
someone's ignorance of something. I am ignorant
of physics and gardening, is it derogatory to point that out?
People do live in denial about some things, that is
just a fact, and facts don't care about your feelings.
No malice intended. X

You are coming across as extremely arrogant and your adversarial approach is really not going to support anyone here. And that's the purpose of this forum - for sex workers to support each other.

Blithely telling all of us in happy LTRs/marriages that our significant others must be deviant and not "real men" (how do lesbian relationships fit into your opinion BTW?) is just LOL-worthy to the extreme.

Just my opinion there for you, lovingly presented without reference to my qualifications.

VoluptuousCurves · « **Reply #88 on:** 23 November 2017, 04:48:27 pm »

I do feel really sorry for you that you're so negative about your chosen career in sex work that you have a deep-seated belief that no "decent" man could ever want you. Maybe start a new thread about that, or where you can find a non-judgmental therapist to help you work through your cognitive dissonance around your profession.

AnnaP · « **Reply #89 on:** 23 November 2017, 06:06:58 pm »

This isn't my profession, it's a job as a means to
an end whilst I studied for my chosen profession.
I'm not negative at all, I merely speak straightforward
about what I've learnt through observation, research
and studying.
In reference to the other poster about lesbians, I don't
think anything about them. I'be no prejudice towards
any group regardless of sex, race, gender or ethnicity.
Asking me to see a therapist is preaching to the choir,
I have a very good idea of what constitutes a healthy relationship.
And I'm not telling anyone how they should conduct
their relationships, just offered my thoughts and
opinions that's all.
No idea is above scrutiny, criticism or debate.
And it's not thinking I'm undeserving of a mans love,
it's about recognising that I would not bring a man
into my world if my world is not one of authentic truth
as I'm fully aware of the implications.

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living? (Read 8905 times)

SimplySinful

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

mature helen

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

SimplySinful

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

mature helen

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

Z

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

AnnaP

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

Z

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

AnnaP

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

Z

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

Iloveginandtonic

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

lillybliss

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

Rosesugar

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

VoluptuousCurves

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

VoluptuousCurves

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

AnnaP

Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?