So to disagree and have a different opinion is to be negative and pessimistic.
Ok, I can see that we can have opinions on here, as
long as they're the correct ones :-/
It's not negative or pessimistic to be if the common
Sense view that sex work and genuine honest relationships
do not work. I would bet my life that any man
who is happy to go along with it is also playing
away.
I'll leave my comments there. Or shall I be banned
for having a different opinion?

There's a difference between having an intelligent, informed debate and coming in all guns blazing slagging off the lifestyle of hundreds of women and their long-term partners... Plenty of men can differentiate their female partners having sex with other men for money versus the intimacy of an LTR. Others choose to have open relationships, some stick to fuckbuddies, others swing, some choose to be single.

When it comes to relationships, no matter who is involved and what their job is, there's no right and no wrong.

If people want casual or open relationships then
that's absolutely fine, so long as both parties know where they stand.
But if you think you will have an honest genuine and respectful
relationship or marriage with a decent man whilst doing sex work
then I'm afraid you are wrong.
There IS a right and a wrong way to conduct relationships.
Would any woman here be comfortable with her husband or long term
partner saying 'hey honey, I'm having sex with other women, but it's only
my job so there's no need to be bothered by it. It's just like
any other service really, like cutting hair for instance', I'm guessing
not.
I will keep reiterating this point though (and please take it on board): I am
not telling anyone how they should be, or judging. I am merely
pointing out some uncomfortable truths. And they're
uncomfortable truths because people are getting upset or offended.
I'm not responsible for anyone getting offended, I think however that
many of you are in denial. But that's your prerogative!

I don't like to see women selling themselves
short by being with a man who doesn't care
what they're doing. And also I'd like to stick up
for the men who are none the wiser and actually deserve
better than a woman selling herself behind his back.
Sorry if that offends but all I'm trying to say is everyone
deserves respect and honesty.

What i think is what you are saying is what a lot of people in civvy world not involved in the industry would say. The thing about you saying a man would never care about a woman if she was a sex worker and be using her or whatever if he stayed with her well yes in some cases that would happen and that has always been my concern but i do also think there probably some that could look at the situation differently but unless we are them and know what they are thinking nobody will know for sure so it boils down to the 2 people in a relationship being happy with it and living there lives or calling it a day.

As some on here have partners that know what they do i am assuming that those or at least some or most are happy with there relationships. The one positive is they do not need to live a lie and can be open.

I never said a man wouldn't 'care' about her.
What I'm saying is a man will never be ok with it.
He is innately evolved to hate his woman being
intimate with another man.
A guy who loves a woman in this job may well love
her and that will cause pain along with bitterness, resentment,
jealousy. That is a fact, and if it is not a fact then he doesn't
care for her.
A man who isn't bothered by these destructive emotions
either doesn't love her or is a narcissist (incapable of feeling
love or related emotions).
Living in denial or putting up with and bottling up
resentment will always manifest later in ugly ways.
P.s I study evolutionary psychology and apply it to behaviour and
relationship dynamics. But I guess you'll tell me I know nothing.

But haven't you read any of the threads on here that include posts by women who are in happy LTRs...? Perhaps you'd be more at home on Mumsnet!

I am not saying there is no truth in what you are saying! But it?s a complete generalisation... and doesn?t not account for every man and every realationship.



There are obviously going to be men who would not be happy with having a relationship with a SW. Or even men who persue a relationship but struggle due to their insecurities

It?s all well, coming in here with your rigid views on relationships, with no solid evidence to back up what you are saying.  Your argument really is not valid unless you can present evidence to back up your claims.   It?s a very one sided argument and it doesn?t look as though you have really researched the topic at all...  seeing as there are many WGs on here in happy relationships &  marriages.  The popular swinging site ?Fab Swingers? has over 130k members.... hundreds of swinger clubs scattered across the UK,  festival events and resorts all dedicated to swinging. It?s a HUGE... growing industry!
This shows that not everyone seeks a monogamous relationship-  there are open minded men , and there are also the men you have described.  As previously mentioned we live in a diverse world, every relationship and values differ. 

(This topic would make a very good research topic for your studies)

We sure do live in a diverse world i mean there is some men that get turned on by there gf/wife fucking other men and they have a open relationship with that and it works would it be for me no i would not want a relationship like that but some do. I do not cheat outside of work but i had had casual dates when working in the past nothing really serious but i did not want them to know i do sex work because nobody knows in my private life and i do not want the risk of it being spread about.

I never have had a serious relationship when working i do not want to lie but i do not want them to know either.

If you still doubt what I'm saying go and study
psychology and evolutionary psychology, particularly
human behaviour in relationships and their dynamics.
Until you do so, you're not in any way qualified
to assert you know better than me.

Imo love is a fantasy as well and a psychological/emotional need for some people, more women than men. With sw/swingers relationships if a man is having his needs met (psyically) so does a woman (needed to be loved). They make a good team imo if decide beforehand what they want out of their rekationship and their long term goal.

About being truely loved, bitterness, revenge and resentment can be resulted from many other things not just sw. Marriages and ltr end for both sw  and civvy people.

To OP, do what makes you happy and at peace and take your time with this man and disclose about sw when you think he is worth it. And be extra careful if your family/friends dont know because you are trusting this person with information that can potentially ruin your other relationships and reputation and in the end he might be as interested as you think he was.

Personally i love sw and do not intend to leave it to be loved by another person and i think genuine relationships/marriages can happen with you doing sw, its between you and your partner and your dreams and goals. Some people want true love, some settle for happiness and honesty and so and so.

Again imo, studies are based on human behaviors not the other way round.

Its not fair to call others delusionsal because they believe in different things. I think women on here are nice, smart and wise and if they choose to be married/partnered with i am sure it works for them and makes them happy. You are better at work and generally in life when your happy. If not nice to say that it will be short-term because no one knows. May be there is more study needed because it surely doesnot cover these women.