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Author Topic: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?  (Read 8900 times)

Guiltypleasure

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #45 on: 22 November 2017, 10:02:52 pm »
And we don't all slag off men !

AnnaP

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #46 on: 22 November 2017, 10:17:26 pm »
I'm sorry that you've taken offence at my comments.
It isn't my intention to offend anyone but we're seriously
deluded to think any decent guy would tolerate us doing this.
It's not healthy to do this and maintain a proper reciprocal relationship.
I wouldn't like to comment on anyone being married, I'm not here to judge
but to have an opinion and one that's based on an awareness of healthy
relationship dynamics and psychology, of which I know a thing or two let's just say.
If you think it is ok for a woman to lie and deceive
someone then I think you should ask yourself why you
feel it's acceptable.

Guiltypleasure

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #47 on: 22 November 2017, 10:21:05 pm »
Well I'm not judging anyone and lots of people on here are in long term relationships , that it seems you are ridiculing .

AnnaP

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #48 on: 22 November 2017, 10:21:57 pm »
Not ridiculing at all. Just speaking straight.

amy

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #49 on: 22 November 2017, 10:26:04 pm »
Anna, you're as entitled to your opinion as everybody else here and everyone's experiences are welcome, but please remember that an opinion is all it is, and that whilst your experiences are entirely valid they also only apply to you and cannot be extrapolated to include anybody else.

It is not OK to try to tell other adults that they do or should think, feel and act the same as you, and presenting personal views as fact is not acceptable here - please keep this in mind and post accordingly :).

AnnaP

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #50 on: 22 November 2017, 10:38:57 pm »
I'm not telling anyone how to think and
my views are not based on personal experience.
Yes, my opinion of which I'm entitled to have.
I just think putting such low expectations and lying
to partners or potential partners is wrong and dishonest. Why deliberately set out
to deceive?

amy

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #51 on: 22 November 2017, 10:48:27 pm »
Well what your views are based on isn't the point, but it's important to remember that because you feel a particular way about relationships and sex work that doesn't mean that others will.agree and nor does it make you right and them wrong (or vice versa). To those for whom sex work is a positive choice and an honest job the fact that we are having sex with punters at work and relationship partners at home is no more relevant or problematic than if we were cooking them food or cutting their hair - it's a paid service and that's all.

That isn't to say I agree with those advising lying to partners, but just because I wouldn't do it doesn't give me the right to tell others they can't. The world is a diverse place :)
« Last Edit: 22 November 2017, 10:50:36 pm by amy »

AnnaP

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #52 on: 22 November 2017, 10:54:40 pm »
I'll reiterate, I wasn't telling them they 'cant'.
I disagree, this is not the same as cutting hair.
Everyone entitled to do as they please but what I'd ask is this:
At a husbands/ boyfriends works Christmas party, or
upon being introduced to the family, would these men happily
reveal what their wives/ girlfriends do for a living?
I'm guessing not.
If it was all so ok then it wouldn't be taboo.
And once again I'm not judging as I do it myself but
lying leads down a slippery slope and causes
people heartache or worse.

AnnaP

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #53 on: 22 November 2017, 10:56:49 pm »
The world is indeed a diverse place but to dress up deception
as diversity is quite morally repugnant.

English Green

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #54 on: 22 November 2017, 11:02:22 pm »
This is an interesting debate by both sides of opinions.

To do with the OP though she has only just gone on a few dates so personally i do not think he needs to be told straight away as it could back fire and she could be open to outing blackmail etc.

It is a personal choice if partners get told or if they do and there ok with there gf doing this job that is up to them personally for me i prefer to be single doing this i would struggle if a bf knew and was ok with me doing this but everybody looks at things different what works for 1 person might not work for another.

AnnaP

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #55 on: 22 November 2017, 11:05:15 pm »
Exactly. And the word 'debate' is one which means
we have differing opinions and it is not a good thing
to try to shut down voices of those who do not
agree. That's the whole point of debate and discussion,
If we all agreed and tried to silence opinions we would
never learn anything.

chocoholicgirl

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #56 on: 22 November 2017, 11:06:34 pm »
Exactly. And the word 'debate' is one which means
we have differing opinions and it is not a good thing
to try to shut down voices of those who do not
agree. That's the whole point of debate and discussion,
If we all agreed and tried to silence opinions we would
never learn anything.

+1

amy

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #57 on: 22 November 2017, 11:08:52 pm »
The world is indeed a diverse place but to dress up deception
as diversity is quite morally repugnant.

I didn't say that at all - do not patronise me, and most certainly do not twist my words. I was pointing out that not everybody deceives their partners, and that includes me. My job is just work, and that is all.

The wide variety of ways in which different people conduct their personal affairs is where the diversity lies, and since I suspect you know exactly what I mean I'll suggest you take the judgemental twaddle down a notch. Debating is fine but as I've already said, telling other people they are wrong because they don't share your extremely negative and pessimistic outlook is not.

English Green

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #58 on: 22 November 2017, 11:11:06 pm »
God no! I made the mistake of telling a bloke I started seeing. When I decided to end it after 6 weeks he told my job and a tabloid paper, lost job, got put in the paper and outed everywhere. NEVER AGAIN!

Shit!!!! put in the paper??? Just for being a sex worker. This is why i am careful with private and work life.

amy

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #59 on: 22 November 2017, 11:15:29 pm »
I disagree, this is not the same as cutting hair.

And that's fine - for you :). In terms of providing paying customers with a professional service, it's no different at all to me. It's also possibly worth pointing out that my partner also provides an expensive paid service to customers and therefore has more insight into what it's like than somebody with a civvy job.