Hello Fallingstar,
I am very sorry for your situation.
18 years ago my father told me if I did not abort my baby I was dead to him.
She is now 17 years old.
I have not spoken to my father in all that time and he walks by me if I pass him on the road as if I am invisible, to this day.
It is heartbreaking to receive such words. It takes a long time to accept it and come to terms with it.
There have been times I could have really used some help from him and pride has stopped me getting in touch. I never would. Not even if I was sleeping on a park bench.
Its a terrible waste and when he dies, I will be sorry I did not at least try to sort things out.
He has, shall we call them, issues? And he is of the old school and nothing I say or do would ever change his mind, but I have never tried to, nor will I as too much time has passed now.
Try to keep some form of communication open with your mum, I don't get along with my mother too well either but I have to just accept these people are a total different generation, it's best to accept we don't see eye to eye (in my mother's case) on certain things and not so much ignore them as let them go for the greater good, there is little point having a row.
I understand your situation is far different from mine. I am trying to sympathise with that initial shock you feel inside when your stung badly by a parents words. There is little that feels that bad.
This is your life though and yes, you need to consider the thoughts and feelings of those around you, but ultimately, you are an adult and you can live whatever lifestyle you choose to live.
I would second the advice given, that being to let things cool off for a while and then go and talk to her calmly.
You must be feeling very upset right now.
I am very sorry this has happened to you.
Jo
x