I am currently renting in shared accomodation. I have been here  for  a while and to be honest am sick of  it.

 The landlord is charging an extortionate amount.  ?600 smakeroones to be exact! He now wants to put the price up even further. His prices are higher than a room in Richmond. In any case I would really like to move out and have my own place/space.

So here is the problem. I cannot find a single estae agent who is willing to rent to me. I have got my credit rating from experian and although it is not bad I don't think it is high  enough for the stringent critereia they seem to want. I.e the pin stripe suit city worker

For starters, they want  a long self employment history ;  ie three years which I simply do not have.

I have tried the private ads such as the newspspaers and newsagent window. I have found a couple of people who do not require such stringent vetting. But all these places where people are less fussy do not seem to be habitable.

I don't mean that to sound rude, but at the end of the day I wish the place  I live in to be  somewhere decent at least. Or am I just being an ungrateful fussy mare?

So that is dilemma number one.


The next thing is that at the moment I am not generating  enough income from my work. I understand that it takes time to build up a business and so on.  But I have a website and  I advertise on quite a few sites as well.

The thing  is that I do not have my own incall place.

In an ideal  world I would rent a property to live in and a seperate one to work from but I honestly do not have the funds to do this.  I am retiscent to  just rent a place and work from there as  I know  it says in contracts  that you cannot run a business from home. I would just hate to pay a months rent and deposit upfront.....(required to secure a one bed flat) and then forfeit this money because someone finds out what I am doing. I can afford to rent an incall place via the day and so on but not  a whole place of my own per month.(trying to sort this out).

I certainly am in no position to buy anything lol

So I am using hotels. I have been tending to wait until someone wants  a booking and then see if a hotel is available.
I did try and book a hotel for a couple of days and advertise. However, the only place I can prominently advertise my location is on AW and my website. I am listed on other sites  but cannot display this information.

So, when clients dicover I am in a hotel they do not seem to be very interested. Like they are expecting me to working form a luxury pad or something. In any case, I am fed up of the hotel scene anyway.

Not getting much request for outcalls either. The one I actually ended up doing turned out to be a wild goose chase.

If anyone can help or has any  ideas or suggestions I would be most grateful. Short of playing Queen's 'Im going slightl mad' on repeat i am running out of ideas

I am currently renting in shared accomodation.   ?600
I would really like to move out and have my own place/space.

Blinks rapidly in disbelief.
That is waaay over priced!

The thing  is that I do not have my own incall place.
In an ideal  world I would rent a property to live in and a seperate one to work from but I honestly do not have the funds to do this.  I am retiscent to  just rent a place and work from there as  I know  it says in contracts  that you cannot run a business from home. I would just hate to pay a months rent and deposit upfront.....(required to secure a one bed flat) and then forfeit this money because someone finds out what I am doing.

They can't keep your deposit for those circumstances.
Yes you have breeched the specific terms of the lease
but that does not give the landlord/agent a big pay day.
The deposit is to protect the landlord should you smash up the place; there are your funds to make good repair.
I'm pretty sure they can't even hold your deposit for rent non-payment.
Otherwise it would work both ways and you could say "I'm not paying rent this month, use my deposit!"

The things an agent or landlord want is
that you pay the rent on time {& that's tied into ability to pay}
and that you keep the place in good condition.

I would also suggest you also seek comment on it, from Praed Street Project

The thing is you'll hear stories of agents having trouble with clients who have passed all the checks, and are squeaky clean. Good credit, and wage slips don't mean you aren't up to your ears in debt or pay your rent on time.

Are you sure you cannot get thrown out if you run  your business from home and therefore lost the deposit? Surely breaking the terms of the contract forfeits your right to the deposit? Even if it doesn't i could still be chucked out for breaking terms, leaving me reference less so not v useful ??

Yep quite sure.
The landlord is not an arm of the judiciary there to issue fines,
equal to your money which they are holding in trust.
Also think 'Unfair contract' as not every single piece of legal document ever written was always fair.
Read your contract carefully. If in doubt consult your lawyer.

I can write you a very nice reference as you have been a great tenant for the last five years.
I'd even happily tell any agent/landlord the same.
Oh and stop telling them you are self employed as we both know you have a super-duper marketing job with that friend of yours I referred to earlier.  

Escorting is not a job, it's a calling.    
Which is why we are called 'Call-girls'

as long as your on the electrol roll and have no ccjs and no defaults on your file you will pass the credit check  thats all they check you for  its a standard credit check
if you can get a mobile phone or a creditcard /store card with no probs then you will pass the credit check

1st
stop telling them your self employed  landlords hate self employed people as to them it means Housing benefit  which mean no money for 8 weeks and then problems getting it off you  

if it private landlord your dealing with then  turn up with the cash, your wage slips,  photo copies of your passport /driving licence ect  everything  a landlord wants from a tennant    
the easier it is you make it for them the better it is for you  and given a choice of renting to someone who has everthing in order and someone who will take a few days to get it most landlords will take the one who is making it easy on them

1 questions to ask   ( did they ever live there ( especially if its a woman )   they might take it more personally than if its just a business  let  

dont tell them your working from home as a massusse beautician or anything remotly like that   ( imo  it will make them suspicious)  if poss turn up as a couple much less suspicious than a single women  flashing the cash if poss let your bloke to all the talking   i no this sounds a bit sexist but i found it always worked well i would be sniffing around thinking how workable is this place while oh did the chat with the landlords    

make sure your deposit is properly bonded with a proper deposit  company there are three i think       so getting a tennancy for a flat is a doddle  pm me if you want reference for anything  happy to help  

 

Yes the private landlords are not that bothered. It is the estate agent I cannot get round. They want a months rent and months deposit  up front which I have. As soon as i say i am self employed, the y want my account records and a long history. I only recently have such things as I am recently self employed.


I have tried saying I am  a refelxologist which is true I am qualified but again i do not have enough history. And yes I do have a guarantor !

You would think that waving 1600 pounds in their face plus a guarantor would do the trick but doesn't seem to be working. estate agents in this are area are notorious fior being a bit more fussy/ sticklers/ uppity imo and it is not just me who has had this problem in this area.

Lucky you for managaing to get round all of this. As I said, I have tried all the private people such as newspaper/newsagent but  nothing decent has come up. You says you are in luxury two bed at 850. Exactly my  point lol


Are you sure you cannot get thrown out if you run  your business from home and therefore lost the deposit? Surely breaking the terms of the contract forfeits your right to the deposit? Even if it doesn't i could still be chucked out for breaking terms, leaving me reference less so not v useful ??

nor do i pay water rates as i think that water is a basic human right so to charge for it is wrong so they can swivel for it

This is totally off-topic, sorry, but it bothers me. If you take only enough water to keep yourself hydrated and keep you and your stuff clean (no baths, showers or washing machines), poured what waste water you had into your vegetable patch and had a dry toilet system then you'd be in the realms of necessity and basic human rights. You don't sound like that much a hippy though and I'm pretty sure sending your clients to poo in a hole would freak them out, so I reckon you're using water and disposing of your waste in the same way that I and your neighbours do, which is insanely luxurious if you apply a little perspective. Water companies allow you to live like that and even clean up your sewage at least a bit before chucking it in the sea.

apologies if i have offended you that wasnt my intention and i have removed that part of my post,  your dead  right im not a hippy in anyway, and havnt got a vegetable patch  - i cant even keep cactus as they die on me which is pretty bad 
  i hadnt  really thought of it the way you have put it eiither   and  yes your  totally right it is  a luxury that were lucky to have in this country  and im not sending clients to poo without  them flushing the toilet   but i still havnt paid it  no excuse for not doing it  either  i  just dont pay it 
        

Quote from: ParisB on 29 September 2011, 12:08:38 am

nor do i pay water rates as i think that water is a basic human right so to charge for it is wrong so they can swivel for it

This is totally off-topic, sorry, but it bothers me. If you take only enough water to keep yourself hydrated and keep you and your stuff clean (no baths, showers or washing machines), poured what waste water you had into your vegetable patch and had a dry toilet system then you'd be in the realms of necessity and basic human rights. You don't sound like that much a hippy though and I'm pretty sure sending your clients to poo in a hole would freak them out, so I reckon you're using water and disposing of your waste in the same way that I and your neighbours do, which is insanely luxurious if you apply a little perspective. Water companies allow you to live like that and even clean up your sewage at least a bit before chucking it in the sea.

Right. Someone on here already private messaged me about making up some wage slips. Surely though they will still want a reference form a landlord?

The landlord for your address you are at, is the person whose contact details you provide.
That might be anyone out of 6.8 billion people on this planet.
Though for credibility I'd suggest you stick to one of the 65 million people in the UK, who are over 18. So lets call that one out of roughly 48 million people. 
(As you are using 'made-up' wage slips, what's the problem...)

Thanks for the tip about posing as a couple or taking a male friend. Where do you get one of those from in ahurry?

Um, let me think...
My name is Lorissa.
I am a successful escort, which by definition means I see lots of men.
"Hello regular client. If you go with me to view a new apartment, while posing as my boyfriend,
I'll give you a half-price/free session, afterwards "
Offer half price and drop to a freebee if you need to.
 
Almost there now, Lorissa, I'd start looking up removal firms.
"Get your coat, you're moving!" 


ps. are you going to have a SAAFE escort's flat-warming party?