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Author Topic: feeling lonely as SW mum..anyone else?  (Read 3365 times)

Galaxies5

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feeling lonely as SW mum..anyone else?
« on: 21 August 2024, 04:33:36 pm »
Hi girlies,
I dont know about you but i find im every so lonely not only as an SW but also a new mummy.
My mum who was my only family recently passed so not only do I not have child care help but having to go back after a long hiatus of pregnancy and navigating motherhood...has left me more depressed than i care to admit. :-[ :-[
Ive recently started therapy but I dont think its helping.
Anyone else here a mama..and can relate or advise?

Gypsy

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Re: feeling lonely as SW mum..anyone else?
« Reply #1 on: 21 August 2024, 09:38:01 pm »
Hi, just wanted to reach out and give a hug. I'm not a mum ... I had an abortion last year mainly through fear of being alone and in this job. My mum is my only family too and last year's events were horrific. My choice was horrendous, I don't think I'll ever get over it and have no idea whether the other choice would have been any easier. It was a no win situation for me. I hope you're okay. Just want to say this job can be incredibly isolating when you're in this state of mind. But you're not alone.
These days there are no Prince Charmings. A girl just has to be her own hero

fallen angel

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Re: feeling lonely as SW mum..anyone else?
« Reply #2 on: 21 August 2024, 10:40:12 pm »
Hi girlies,
I dont know about you but i find im every so lonely not only as an SW but also a new mummy.
My mum who was my only family recently passed so not only do I not have child care help but having to go back after a long hiatus of pregnancy and navigating motherhood...has left me more depressed than i care to admit. :-[ :-[
Ive recently started therapy but I dont think its helping.
Anyone else here a mama..and can relate or advise?

I was so physically ill after the birth of my much wanted baby, before I entered SW I have to add.
But the support then of my Mum ( no longer with me now) was crucial and much needed.
You need to take care of yourself now and forget work, try and get some kind of support network, friends maybe?  You say you don't think the therapy is helping but maybe you need to give it longer to see how that pans out?
One thing is for sure, you need help with the depression, have you spoken to your health worker about this? If not then you really should.

Missizzy

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Re: feeling lonely as SW mum..anyone else?
« Reply #3 on: 22 August 2024, 08:03:53 am »
Hi,
I'm pretty much in the same boat, except that I still very much have my mum. I'm for some reason dreading going back to this after a big maternity break. I've also accidently isolated myself somehow, I've drifted away from lots of my school & college friends. You're in my thoughts, look after yourself & please get the help you need x

GucciGang

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Re: feeling lonely as SW mum..anyone else?
« Reply #4 on: 22 August 2024, 02:34:50 pm »
I remember these days well. I went back to work far too soon after giving birth and my body was not back to normal. I really suffered just to get some cash for me and my baby.

Then I remember how hard it was just to get over night childcare so I could work a full shift. I used to get the train to London work till 3am get the 6am train back and did this every week it was soul destroying.

Just want you to know you are not alone and can reach out at any time. 

Now my child is 11 and I am lucky I get one week a month to work which helps. But you do feel like yo ur living in the shadows. Can tell people at the school look at me and wonder why I don’t have a husband. Also avoiding questions from other parents about what I do for work.

Things will get easier I promise once at proper school you can utilise after school club and work doing your escorting  9am -5pm you should do well in those hours once your regular clients know they have to come in the daytime.


Fifi

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Re: feeling lonely as SW mum..anyone else?
« Reply #5 on: 22 August 2024, 09:01:55 pm »
Hi girlies,
I dont know about you but i find im every so lonely not only as an SW but also a new mummy.
My mum who was my only family recently passed so not only do I not have child care help but having to go back after a long hiatus of pregnancy and navigating motherhood...has left me more depressed than i care to admit. :-[ :-[
Ive recently started therapy but I dont think its helping.
Anyone else here a mama..and can relate or advise?

Sorry you're struggling.

I'm not a mum but I lost my mum some time ago.

If you need to talk, feel free to message.

Lushblossom

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Re: feeling lonely as SW mum..anyone else?
« Reply #6 on: 23 August 2024, 10:24:53 am »
I have to be honest here and say I really don't think therapy will help. Single parenting for a new baby plus a recent major bereavement is too much for anybody.

Hope you find some decent childcare to enable you to work as you don't want poverty on top of this.

My mum died when I was pregnant and shortly after giving birth I had to split up with my ex so I have done nearly the whole of my son's upbringing as a single parent with zero family support. I have had intermittent help from his dad's family though. He is now 19 and doing well in life.

Every year gets easier with babies.

Bereavement it all depends if you were an only child or not. I was an only child so it took me a good few years to get over losing my mum as we were quite close too.

PM me if you need to offload further. I also think a course of antidepressants would do no harm.
« Last Edit: 23 August 2024, 10:27:22 am by Lushblossom »

Galaxies5

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Re: feeling lonely as SW mum..anyone else?
« Reply #7 on: 30 August 2024, 08:46:09 pm »
Honestly its nice reading everyones reply. thank you ladies sooo much. I dont feel so alone.
Ill try and reach out in PM's as well

matureho

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Re: feeling lonely as SW mum..anyone else?
« Reply #8 on: 30 August 2024, 10:25:56 pm »
I have to be honest here and say I really don't think therapy will help. Single parenting for a new baby plus a recent major bereavement is too much for anybody.

Hope you find some decent childcare to enable you to work as you don't want poverty on top of this.

My mum died when I was pregnant and shortly after giving birth I had to split up with my ex so I have done nearly the whole of my son's upbringing as a single parent with zero family support. I have had intermittent help from his dad's family though. He is now 19 and doing well in life.

Every year gets easier with babies.

Bereavement it all depends if you were an only child or not. I was an only child so it took me a good few years to get over losing my mum as we were quite close too.

PM me if you need to offload further. I also think a course of antidepressants would do no harm.

Be mindful with your advice, everybody’s situation is different, what may have worked for you may not work for the OP? To suggest a course of antidepressants would do no harm, unless you are a clinician don’t give this advice.

Isobellaboobs

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Re: feeling lonely as SW mum..anyone else?
« Reply #9 on: 31 August 2024, 08:54:49 am »
Hey , I moved areas because a dickhead found where I lived..
I have a young child and I found it very lonely.
I went on childcare.com and found an amazing child minder who worked later.
Also join local mother and toddler groups, there are exercise classes for mother and babies plus some gyms have creches.
Not sure where you are based but maybe you could buddy up with a girl.
I think there are some single mum groups online.
I actually found loads of new friends through a local gym.
Don't just dive into antidepressants as sometimes it can be a situation type depression.
Sending my love as in the past have felt severe loneliness as a mum to a young child and doing this job.
Also I regret not getting a part time normal job or joining a college course as it brings some nornamility.