I had a client not so long ago (sorry if I'm repeating myself to anyone who read my old post about it!) who had a bit of a rape/forcing fantasy and wanted to verbally act out a dialogue as though he was assaulting me and I didn't want it, although the sex itself was extremely normal/gentle/misssionary. Towards the end he asked me to say things about my young pussy and how his big cock was hurting me and I just said it so he'd ejaculate and get off me. After I left, though, and wasn't so worried about self-preservation or getting a bad review or something, it all sunk in a bit more and I felt gross, like I'd encouraged a sick pervert. I still don't know what I should've done although I sometimes fantasize about all these horrible men being arrested, tried and castrated! But then, it was only his fantasies that he wanted to talk through and I suppose he was trying to do it in a safe way so maybe I'm overreacting or confused. It was an agency booking and I wish they'd given me warning (he was a regular of theirs) rather than let me go through that delightful surprise.
![Sad :(](https://saafe.info/main/Smileys/classic/sad.gif)
I don't know, I'm sorry I'm not being any help here. I just hate to think of dozens of other girls going through the same thing!
The only thing I would say is not to berate yourself - you mustn't think that you did anything wrong because who knows, if you'd said something to this creep he could have turned violent and if you'd gotten hurt, that would have been even worse. You could maybe consider leaving feedback if it was an Adultwork booking? That can still cause you a lot of risk, however - anything from him trying to destroy your reputation to getting a 'friend' to book you without you knowing, to hurt you in person.
This may sound odd but it's the same thing I mentioned in another thread - have you tried asking your GP or the nurse at your GUM clinic whether there might be someone you could talk to about this? I did recently and have been amazed at the response, they're extremely kind and professional people and seem to encourage the idea of anyone going through a rough patch, possibly to do with sex work but not necessarily, having a word with a qualified counsellor-type.
![Smiley :)](https://saafe.info/main/Smileys/classic/smiley.gif)
They are absolutely brimming with practical advice, too!