Thank you Nora,
yeah honestly i feel that i am too kind with myself! 
btw could be a burnout absolutely understand what you mean!
i am looking for the change, maybe a break who know...sending all staff that i bought with my escort earning to someone of my family. i am bored of material things and this is more conceptual than pratical move! i want to restart from 0, meaning buy thing that with a part time job can afford...put away my past. ahah not boots anymore LOL not fuc*** leather look clothes.. this doesn t mean that i am going to stop turkey but means that i am not going to wear like a pro escort!
...if i got some booking of course!  now my rent is 2 booking! even those i do not get! well, it is changed since my start!  today vote staff and i am coming from west Europe...maybe going to affect everyone or just people from abroad or maybe no one i am not in politics staff hopefully! 

brand new! still positive and hopefully get my alternative job which i really enjoy!

thank you so much!
officially crazy and burned out! ahah kidding! still funny!