And if they ask you for money , loans , help say no
If your job isn't good enough for them thrm neither is your money

Ahem sister!!

Thank you everyone for all this advice! I really appreciate it.

I think the general consensus it give it a few months, and let things settle. That's definitely the best idea. My mum is still angry, and I am still upset, so trying to discuss anything at the moment will be pointless, and probably end in tears.

I also like the idea of giving my mum some information about escorting- perhaps even directing her to this website, so she can read the posts and know that it's not 'seedy'. We are all doing this by choice, to give ourselves financial freedom. And we are all just ordinary women! There's nothing wrong with us. Many of the posts are intelligent, funny and astute. I might text her the link, and then leave for a few months.

The 'coming out to the parents' post is actually really helpful. It's comforting to know other people are going through similar experiences. Sometimes this job makes you feel so alone, like you are the only person in the world who feels totally and unfairly ostracised!

Thanks all
xx

Suzie, I'm not sure giving mum a link to this website is a good idea honestly. I can't imagine my mum going through some of the threads (grossest thing that's ever happened to you, the stalkers, the numerous threads on dangerous clients etc...). From an insiders point of view all this stuff we share here is pretty "normal" but from an outsiders can be quite uncomfortable to read. Imagine a regular forum punter getting busted and directing his wife to a punternet forum (or whatever) so she can see his posts regarding his failed marriage and how "normal" his hobbie is. And I'm not criticizing saafe or anything (god forbid!), I believe it's a VERY necessary forum and I'm soooooooooooo glad it exists. But for a civvie who has nothing to do with the industry it's hard to read.

What I tell my friends (and regulars) is that I belong to an internet escort network were everybody shares information on clients, or updates, news on dangerous clients and that everytime I get a new client I just look up his number/address on the "network". End off. If my civvie friends ask me for the name of the forum I just say: "Oh, it's private, only for sex workers". They don't need to know my rants, the "gross" details lol!

That sucks. Try to focus on the positives, no more lyeing, a nice sexy house , your still young and probabley beautiful lol.

Elders do tend to be biggoted so sometimes we have to give them A LOT of time. It is hard to not to stamp your feet at everyone who doesn't understand. I know I did and still do get mad at people who can't wrap their head around sex for money. Like what the fuck is the big deal you know just chill. < I'm like you... HIppy dippy on all kinds of subjects. You know it's much more innocent than folk like to lead on, they think your trying to be rebelious and dramatic when it is in fact the opposite, your just trying to be chill & sensible. 

I was unvolentarly outed. Some folk are open minded some arn't. Obviousley I vibe with open minded folk and it's frustrating when loved ones just... arn't. I was pretty naive over how open minded everyone else is tbh. And i've not managed to sway people even after being super down to earth and frank and educational on the topic in intense detail. Win some loose some, but the fact that they are disapointed just goes to show they care about you in (As weird as that sentance sounds)

Don't cut out loved ones unless they are going to make your life hell. Your paniced and embarressed. The natural response is to ostritch in the sand. Give them time, talk to them if you need to. This industry is just so much more innocent than folk think.

Turn this around and think of you. Are you happy in your job : you have said YES.

Are you earning a good income: The house would suggest YES

Are you happy to continue your job: YES

Is the support of your familey a MUST or can you agree to disagree? : Up to you but by the sounds of things, the love will still be there and sometimes that's what we have to settle with. Which sucks don't get me wrong.

Unfortunatley we can't satisfy everyone in this job.

I hope your ok. Have a cuddle, take out some frustration, take a bath but try your hardest not to hold a grudge for too long over the fact they can't comprehend your job because it'll fuck with your income and mind. Focus on your nice new house and the ones who can whole heartedly support you and your job. As others have been saying, stay your happy unique self and they will soon see your not the she devil of sex work.

Felt so sad reading your post there!! I feel the same. While my friends and family don't officially know, I think they secretly suspect it. I have a degree also and they would never understand me choosing this job over a 'normal' job.

I rarely even here from my own mother. Because I feel that nobody will understand my choice I have isolated myself from most people around me. It's quite a lonely life at time, I really need to make some escort friends!

 

Hi
My mum was upset and angry when I was outed and I know how you feel, caught between being being proud of what I have achieved (like you making enough money to buy a house!) and also feeling shit because it's horrible seeing your mum upset and angry...

It took mine a long time to come round, and she never really did until I got another job and she thinks I have given up escorting. I choose to let her think that because everything is really good between us again. It's easier because we don't live nearby so she can't keep an eye on my movements!

Anyway, despite her anger and disgust she told me that at the end of the day I was still her daughter and she missed me during the times we weren't speaking. I'm sure most mums will feel that.

As everyone has said give it time. I'm sure you'll miss your mum (and sister maybe) in time and cutting people off is so drastic and painful.

I hope it all works out for you.