Can you not make something up and do a couple of days and maybe leave a bag with your stuff in at a friends ?
Or have a night out occasionally ( and work)

I know the lies are hard but you may feel better with a bit of cash ?

my boyfriend is telling me in nicer words that I’m a bum and need a job and that I’m always sad and my sparks gone

This is probably going to sound harsh but what are you doing if you're no longer escorting?
Most relationships suffer when a partner who is happy and secure no longer is (often because of redundancy, ill health or whatever) and such circumstances can easily lead to stress, anxiety and depression. If you've gone from being active and financially comfortable to sitting around all day worrying about money he's bound to be concerned.
Giving up escorting is one thing, but if you haven't replaced it with anything then there's bound to be a hole.

...I’ve had the same issue in my relationship, but with dancing. My loss of spark was the reason it went downhill. It breeds a lot of instability in you, in him and in the relationship. It will take over and it’s a matter of time before it’s over anyway.

So my advise is make yourself happy if you are lucky enough to know how. Do what you KNOW works for you, and it sounds like you have an inkling.

If you love him then don’t lie as that’s poison to you and the relationship. Just tell him what you used to do, and that you quit it and you are finding difficult to readjust. Try to readjust first. I did and trying normal jobs helped me a lot, and he saw that I tried.

But in the end I went back to dancing, and to his and my surprise he gave it a shot, and instantly saw the spark return. But this breed endless insecurities in him because now he felt useless to me and this caused different arguments.

My point being, choose you and stand up for yourself. If you would like him to stay be clear about this, but lay it all out and either he takes it or leave it.

Real men respect women being straight with them, as they get confuse easily. You man has  zero idea why you’ve changed because he doesn’t know what you was...what made the woman fell for. 

It’s very risky thing to do. To be open about who you are and be proud of it, as it takes guts and iron clad resolve. It’ll be emotional and difficult at first...for you and especially for him. He will need time and space, to digest it.

However if he cares for you then he will try to understand your point of view, but this largely depends on his capability to rationalise, and how open minded he is. It’ll depend on his way of thinking.

Some people just are simple minded and judgemental assholes, and there is no changing that. If he is one of these types who are set in their way, refuse to evolve and are predominantly concerned with their own insecurities then again the relationship is dead because sooner or later something else will be an issue and he won’t really help you to fix it. He will have that habit of blaming you or everyone else for everything. Not once will the idea of working thru it, or hearing you out will be an option for him.

You are already at some level open minded, willing to invest your part in the relationship, and knows something has to give...that something has to be done or else you’ll loose yourself and the relationship will still die. Idealistic you want to salvage both. But the most important of the two is you.

Despite popular belief a man or a relationship does not equal happiness, yes they are good for company and sharing some parts of life with. But the fact is taking care of yourself is the only way to happy because only you will always have your own back come hell or high waters, and only you knows you.

A happy you almost always equals to a happy partner. You love yourself and others will be drawn in and find it easy to love you. And best of all you’ll find it easy to love others because you already got you all sorted out.