See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Exclusive sugar babies?  (Read 1183 times)

IsabellaLove

  • New Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3
Exclusive sugar babies?
« on: 28 November 2024, 10:04:25 pm »
Hey all, I'm based in London and I've had a sugar daddy for just over a year now and he has just asked me to enter an exclusive relationship with him in exchange for a lot more money.

Half of me thinks I'd be crazy to pass up this opportunity but I not dumb and he's asking for a lot of me emotionally and I just don't know. Are there other SBs in London in exclusive arrangements that are making it work?

Please message me! I need some support from people in my situation!

Thank you!


xw5

  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5,914
    • I should be updating this instead...
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #1 on: 28 November 2024, 11:07:50 pm »
Well, you have tolerated him for a year already and are in a position to lay down some boundaries: 'exclusive' doesn't mean 24/7 and also doesn't mean bareback.


How much of your income has he been over the past year? If you were actually work-monogamous with him (not everyone in an 'exclusive' deal is) and one of you wanted to end it, could you rebuild your income?
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

ana30

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 3,719
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #2 on: 29 November 2024, 09:49:00 am »
That’s called “marriage sans financial protection” which works great for him but it’s a terrible arrangement for you. He’s literally buying you, he wants you to be dependent on him so he can have unlimited power over you, then once you’re no longer the flashy new toy he can get rid of you, cut all money supply and you’ll be stranded with zero income because you had to say goodbye to your clients a long time ago. Unless you have another good source of income besides whoring (like a full time job) that you will keep you sane and afloat once mr exclusive sugar daddy dumps you I would not go into
This very one sided arrangement.
"Sex work is real work, being a landlord isn't" - Graffitti seen on a wall.

IsabellaLove

  • New Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #3 on: 29 November 2024, 11:43:20 am »
Does anyone know anyone who has done something like this successfully? I'd love to chat with someone who has been a successful SB or is doing that now and how you maintain your boundaries while still keeping the fantasy alive.

englishrebecca121

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 713
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #4 on: 29 November 2024, 04:21:49 pm »
No just no

Why would you want this ? What is he offering to pay you. ?

As I can imagine after a few months it’s going tits up then you have to start from scratch again

amy

  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,798
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #5 on: 29 November 2024, 04:41:22 pm »
Does anyone know anyone who has done something like this successfully? I'd love to chat with someone who has been a successful SB or is doing that now and how you maintain your boundaries while still keeping the fantasy alive.

There probably are a handful of people who have made this sort of thing work (although I'd be amazed if they didn't have more than one 'exclusive' punter on the go at once).

They're not that likely to be hanging out here because this board is mostly people who do straightforward in-person sex work with all the boundaries that entails, and this sort of woolly arrangement when you don't know exactly how many hours you'll have to do and when and for how much wouldn't appeal to many of us.

How much of your time is he going to expect for this money? Are you going to be expected to drop whatever you're doing to see him, even if you're busy with your friends, partner or family? Are you going to be expected to send him constant validation texts, emails or pictures, even if you're tired or unwell? What will happen if he wants to see you and you're not available?

It sounds as if you've made your mind up regardless of what anybody here says, but do take into account what people have said about it ending, and what you're going to do for money if that happens sooner than you expected. Contracts based on sex aren't legally binding, so no matter what you agree at the start you have no redress if it goes wrong.

nina1997

  • Restricted
  • New Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #6 on: 29 November 2024, 08:03:41 pm »
I've got a "SB arrangement" with one of my punters who was a regular until we switched over to a monthly arrangement.

I made it clear from the outset that it would not be exclusive and that I would need to continue seeing oher people, he accepted this as he wasn't able to match my monthly income required for him to have me exclusively. I wouldn't have wanted this either for the reasons articulated above, losing regulars and starting from scratch if things ended.

We agreed on a certain number of "meets" per month. Although there is no specific length put on the meetings, they are generally 2 to 3 hours each. I make him book in advance by at least 3 days as well to ensure that it doesn't cause too much disruption to my family life and other punters.

We agreed all of this up front and exchanged emails to this effect so that both parties understood what the expectations were of each other. This prevented him becoming entitled and stopped boundary creep and it also prevented his view of me becoming complacent, which I know can be common with punters.

What he's paying me equates to about 2/3 of my hourly rate but it's guaranteed income each month and he is very easy to get along with and I actually enjoy his company.

This has been going on for about 5 months now and it's going well. I need to provide a good service to him to keep it going and he needs to play by my rules as well for him to keep seeing me. It's a good collaboration.

I can see how some people would see this as controlling but for me it helped me even out the peaks and troughs with the other bookings and enabled me to plan financially better.

If it's managed correctly monthly arrangements can work well for both parties but my advice would be to get terms agreed up front first.

« Last Edit: 29 November 2024, 08:23:13 pm by nina1997 »

IfUSeekAmy

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 11
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #7 on: 29 November 2024, 08:09:59 pm »
Does anyone know anyone who has done something like this successfully? I'd love to chat with someone who has been a successful SB or is doing that now and how you maintain your boundaries while still keeping the fantasy alive.

I've been sugaring a few years, and although I've not had an exclusive arrangement (and I wouldn't have - I would never put all my eggs in one basket), from my experience men either propose that because they don't want to use protection during sex, or it's because they have already developed feelings for you. Imo I think the boundaries for an exclusive arrangement are unavoidably going to be pushed more than for an open one.

BBW Jayda

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 117
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #8 on: 30 November 2024, 12:10:08 am »
I've never done it before but I had a colleague according to her, who met a German businessman who was paying between £8-£10k per month , but she continued working and seeing other clients however for one week out of the month they will both meet up and spend time together for a week and go for dinners, treated her to shopping and so on.
 I remember her always having nice expensive clothes, bags shoes and a nice flat in Chelsea. She left the business after a while so lost touch how it ended with the guy.

DarcyLady

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 442
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #9 on: 30 November 2024, 09:40:37 am »
I had one of these a few years ago, and it was absolutely brilliant in the beginning. I really enjoyed being looked after, and given gifts, but then I noticed that he was very controlling. He was using money to control me, which meant that I ended up with massive anxiety. I would never do it again, mainly because I felt like I totally lost my independence. I also lost a bit of my identity, because I was constantly trying to mould myself into what he wanted. He started choosing what I'd wear, etc. No thanks.

I'm sure these arrangements can work with the right person, but I would advise having firm boundaries. Nothing is worth your sanity and independence.  :-*

GucciGang

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 888
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #10 on: 30 November 2024, 11:09:56 am »
I would do it and still work on the side. Even if you got 6 months out of it and 60k to put in savings could set you up for a pension.

Just be very clever about how you do it. Set your adultwork to content only and then maybe work for agencies under a different name with your face blurred and a new phone number.


I think if you don’t at least give it a go you may kick yourself. Especially with the way the economy is it’s a secure income for a while.

lora

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 230
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #11 on: 01 December 2024, 02:07:06 pm »
It depends how much money he is offering and what his expectations are.

BBW Jayda

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 117
Re: Exclusive sugar babies?
« Reply #12 on: 01 December 2024, 02:29:21 pm »
It depends how much money he is offering and what his expectations are.
Exactly if it's not  £50k or more, what's the point 😁