SAAFE forum
General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Lil Lolita on 30 April 2014, 11:01:10 am
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Hi,
It's now been six months since I was escorting and I am still living in the same town as before. It's not as big as some of the main cities in Scotland such as Edinburgh and Glasgow, where I always had more work. I miss seeing guys in that regard and earning that wage.
I am working full time for ?10 an hour in my regular job, sometimes doing overtime. I have grown to HATE my work with a passion, and on my days off, they are still ringing me and hassling me to go in. Still living with my Mum, which I bloody hate.
The good news is, I nearly have enough for a new car which surely could get me places as a escort. However, since splitting from my ex in February, this new guy has taken an interest and wants to see me all the time. I keep thinking, fucks sake, I could be earning more doing escorting!
With work hounding me more than ever, taking away a measly wage and still living with my Mum (groan), I have had escorting withdrawal symptoms really, really bad. I am now more committed to going indie and establishing myself more than ever.
I have just a few 'what would you do' questions though, I regularly look at the boards and try to take on any advice similar to what I have posted etc.
-Would it be better to wait to get the new car before going indie? I live slightly out of town :(
-Regards to my work; always hassling me to go in, but I have built up a good reputation (as much as I hate my regular job), so how would I juggle this and escorting
-The big question; escorting where I live. People have had a mixed view on this, there is always that risk of being outed, and I work in quite a professional job with vulnerable people.. IF a client turned out to be someone I knew, could I just say I would have them done for slander or such, or does that not work? There is nowhere big enough to work from an hour from where i live, and the big cities like Edinburgh, that I did work from, are over 3 hours drive :(
Thanks... urgh, I want to get started again asap, it's killing me not doing this work! :FF
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Seems to me your only option to work as a indie will be to move in a bigger town and rent a place of your own..
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Hi LL,
It's not an easy situation. I don't know the ins and outs of your everyday job but it is something you have taken a long time in qualifying in if my memory serves me right so don't jeopardise things now.
Perhaps it's the location or branch of your business that is not for you, I don't know, I'm just throwing it in there for you to consider.
We do miss the company of the clients when we stop .... For at least five minutes, then it goes away and our own lives take over. That is the reason we must keep up outside interests even when we are prossying.
With regards to your mum, do you hate living with her because it stops you doing Incalls from home or is there another reason.
There seems to be a lot of underlying issues with you just now (I'm taking that from what I've read in your post) and perhaps there is a lot of rubbish you need to get out of your head.
If you have gone into another relationship very quickly and you would rather spend the time prossying then it doesn't really say much for the relationship. I know some guys can be very demanding but if this is the case, do you really want to be in it or are you accepting the unacceptable until "something better or something different" comes along?
Do you see where I'm coming from saying there is a lot if underlying issues?
Do you want to get back to prossying cos you are missing the money or for any other reason.
I've not answered any of your questions really for I think you know you are the only one who can do that.
I hope some of these points will help you think other things through and leave space in your brain for some more positive thinking.
Good luck with the thinking.
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Could you do the odd tour? Book a holiday from your regular job, and rent a serviced flat in a big town for a week? Or a long weekend in Edinburgh?
If you were outed, you would almost certainly lose your straight job - I doubt your employer would take responsibility for letting a prostitute work with vulnerable people. To civilians, we ARE vulnerable people... You can only sue for slander if you have been slandered. Calling a sex worker a prostitute is not slander, it's the truth, and guys are going to know that. Besides, they can remain anonymous while outing you and causing you a lot of trouble. All you can do is not sh*t on your own doorstep and keep it away from home. The risk of being outed then is remote, which should allow you to up your earnings while evaluating your options, and seeing if things work out with your new BF, and maybe financing a place of your own.
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I would just do the occasional outcall and screen them really throughly, where they live etc, and reject any that don't meet your requirements 100%. You can gradually build up the business and get your car sooner and be able to go further afield. If you have a respectable career, don't reject it out of hand though, especially if you have built up a good reputation.
I know what you mean by withdrawal symptoms. I'm sure I'd find six months without seeing any clients horrific. BF or not.
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Thanks for the replies everyone. LL- you've made some very good points there! I did a search of my old working name for the agency a few weeks ago, and found an actual topic on me... on a site like this but for punters! The guy said he was desperate to get hold of me now I had left the agency. I shouldn't have really, but I joined the site, and without trying to solicit, identified myself (working character only, obviously!).... and then more clients wrote in asking if I would be available to see them in Edinburgh and Glasgow!
I agree with being outed, I would be struck off immediately. I am just wanting to find good discreet hotels around the country. I looked on Secret Escapes (that was recommended) and it was hellishly expensive! First things first, I need to establish my profile and pictures, and know where to go for that. May just have to be a case of making some money from pics and films whilst I am trying to get into the business again.. :-/
I guess I just can't stand the crap money the job pays, and the fact it's long hours with a dire job. I don't enjoy living at home at all, I miss not being able to do incalls and what I want, when I want. I know I sound like a cow, but I don't give a s*** about the new guy, he's so dull, give me Pretty Woman client any day soon, it's that bad! Lol ::)
Six months is a long time, and I thought I would be heading back to Edinburgh in the next few weeks to finish uni, but that's been scrapped now :(
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It's very hard trying to equate going back to a 'normal' working life (is anything normal!) after one has been escorting........... I mean we know the earnings potential in this and we know what most jobs pay nowadays. Unless you are at the top then it's highly unlikely you can get the same money but what you have to do, I think, is sit down and think of what you want to do, maybe not long term but short term.
I don't know your living arrangements but could you do outcalls in the interim, perhaps now and then at least to supplement your income? Perhaps if you have enough to buy the car now then the outcalls will be easy for you at least with no taxi fares or having to worry about transport if there is a distance to travel.
I don't wish to pry but if you really want to finish uni, can you put it back to a later date or if you really want to go sooner then pull out all guns to do it sooner then later, if at all possible? Sometimes the longer we stay in this then the harder it is to go back to anything else, if in fact that is what we ultimately want to do as it's not everyone who sees this job as a temporary measure, it's an indivdual choice.
As to the chap you are seeing, please don't take this the wrong way but if you think he is dull, why be with him? Also sometimes, we see these clients of ours through rose tinted glasses...........whilst they come and spend money on us, ultimately we don't live with them and maybe the dull Mr Average who doesn't earn nowhere near what we do, is actually a kinder decent bloke then half the punters we see (sorry girls no offence to punters who are bf's, etc..).
It sounds like you feel trapped. You know what you could potentially earn and it must be frustrating when you are only earning a fraction of that for probably a lot harder work!
Also, can you speak to your employer/work at all and explain to them that you are not willing to be - hounded/hassled? Don't want to pry again but if you are not at work then they have no right to contact you unless of course your job is more involved.
Sadly, in these economic times, from what I gather it's dog eat dog out there and the days of 9 to 5 are gone with people having to put in all sorts of ridiculous extra hours (unpaid) just to keep their jobs and not to mention what I think is a real pisstake - internships = unpaid jobs!
So perhaps what you should do is
1. Speak to work - sort out some ground rules ?
2. Buy the car - if you can afford it now.
3. Do outcalls - if that is an option, perhaps travel out a bit more
4. Accept you have to live at home now (no fun but think of the money you are saving!).
5. Dump the bf - if he's not making you happy no point staying with him.
Hope that helps! Typing it sometimes comes across differently and I don't mean to sound know it all, just trying to help!
Love
Jenny x
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Instead of a car why not rent your own place in the city centre? That way you can do incalls when you want without the family there and can still get to work and back easily with public transport?
On your days off don't answer the phone to them if they keep hassling you. Everyone is entitled to be hassle free on their days off unless they are being paid to answer their calls.
As for the new feela if you are thinking you would be better off having sex for money than being with him then he is not for you. with a new guy he is all you should be thinking about when you are together (it wears off after a while).
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Thanks Jenny :) The outcalls do seem like an option, with extensive vetting in the area!
Uni side of things; attended a meeting last week, they are saying the decision for me to return has been upheld. I am not happy. But appealing it, so maybe with the appeal, I can at a push get it overturned. Then hopefully return and work as an escort whilst at uni.
I am in work tomorrow so will be speaking to them about the hounding things.. the bf? (I don't even see him as that to be honest), I held on to him because he was a (dull) nice guy, it was getting me out the house and he paid for everything and has quite lavish tastes.
Touring seems like a real possibility here from having thought thoroughly; I guess the only problem is, I can't tour all the time and I don't want to let any potential clients down. I need a set location, but it would seem a bit odd say if I set up an AW profile where I currently am, get a booking, then say 'Oh no, sorry I can't see you as you live near my friend/cousin/work colleague'.
Sometimes wish I didn't have a regular job and did this all the time!